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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Umbran" data-source="post: 6583423" data-attributes="member: 177">Gah.  I did some moderation here earlier, and that would normally mean I step out of the discussion.  But, I have a point to make that doesn't really fit either side, so I hope I won't cheese anyone off too much.It is very true that relationships should not be built on a bed of lies.  I'm sorry, SirAntoine, but the fundamental dishonesty there is problematic for any long-term arrangement.  However, to Greg's note.... faking it *occasionally* is not necessarily a sin, and can in fact be healthy.  This is because failing to do so makes perfect the enemy of good, and can leave you in the situation where an experience that was Great for A, and OK, but not perfect, for B, becomes a really bad experience for both through trying too hard.  My understanding is that human social mores are not based on so called "radical honesty", and that our relationships tend to break down if we do not include a buffer for polite fictions.  Greg says nobody likes a faker - but the truth is that nobody likes a stream of unvarnished truth, either.This is where I get my approach - fundamental honesty overall, that lays the groundwork for the polite fiction of the moment.And if someone doesn't agree with where you want polite fictions... don't play with them.  That's okay.  We don't all have to like the same things.</blockquote>