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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Delta" data-source="post: 4563192" data-attributes="member: 40269">I've presented the following position a few times. I lead a punk band in NYC and I've had to get good practice at firing people over the last few years. When I started out, I thought that as people started to flake out a good talk would fix things. It never did; it was always a waste of time. People are going to follow their propensities and desires regardless of what you'd prefer them to do. So, I no longer spend time psychoanalyzing people. I don't bother having to decide whether their acting out of good or bad faith. All of that doesn't matter and only serves to delay the issue. My only capacity is to lay down requirements, and then fire them if they fail to meet those requirements. (i.e., end our working relationship, in a social/gaming context). MY thought on EnWorld is that I'm constantly surprised at how many people want to blather on with bad fellow players, talk-talk-talk literally forever without any need for a resolution. I literally cannot fathom that. If I did that in the past, it was because I was socially awkward and afraid to take the action I really had to take. Fire' em. It takes courage but you'll get better at that the more you practice it. And it feels great to know you have that courage and capacity in the world. And, amazingly, people respect me and like me *better* after the fact! I'm still friends with everyone I've fired from my band, we still like each other, we go out and do stuff and have a better time than before.  So the talk-talk-keep-talking-forever, maybe-we-don't-yet-understand-each-other-need-more-information crowd leaves me bemused. Set behavioral guidelines, fire 'em when they cross it, saves you 98% of your otherwise wasted time. You'll respect yourself more and so will they.</blockquote>

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