(YB/IC) PRIVATE diary of Sidhe Li

[Wicht]

Date: 1 / 1 / xxx1

It is a new year, a new beginning.

My head is pounding from the dreams I had last night. They were so vivid. Portents perhaps. There was a lady in white. A stone in her head. There were strange fighters. I remember thinking at the end that I was not who I was and that there was something I needed to remember. I remembered this morning when I woke up of course. I was not, so to speak, myself in the dream.

I go today from the monastery to seek to better myself and find the strength to control myself. The master thinks I am ready and assures me I will not fall to the same temptations my father did. He let the beast consume him. I must master the beast. Only then will I achieve true freedom.

We shall see if indeed I am strong enough.

 

[Wicht]

Date: 1 / 2 / xxx1

I have gained my yellow belt!

I also lost control as my fight neared its conclusion. I shall have to meditate more and practice greater self discipline. I dare not walk the same road as my father. I must be master of myself.

I am therefor training hard in the style of the clawed wolf for I deem that will be the quickest path to self mastery.

 

[Wicht]

Date: 1 / 4 / xxx1

My string of victories was brought to a halt today when I lost to the female called Kith. I came close to obtaining a green belt but to no avail.

During the fight I controlled myself superbly. Is this why I lost? Am I a better fighter when I lose control of the beast. It cannot be so! For how can mindless rage triumph over skill and practice. It is a paradox I must unravel if I am to succeed as a fighter and as a man.

 

[Wicht]

Date 1 / 5 / xxx1

Another loss in battle followed by a win. The win happened during Emperor Wunan's tournament and I gained 2 yen from the victory.

The tournament is quite a sight to see and I write even now from amidst its chaotic splendor. There are so many fighters here. There are peasants and royalty intermingling. There is the smell of food everywhere. I see matches and races and it is quite fun. I hope to fight in another match before the day is out. If I can scrape up the money I may begin to make my staff.

The beast has been fairly calm in my last two fights and I wonder whether or not I have gained control at last or whether it bides its time to take me unaware. We shall see.

 

[Wicht]

Date 1 / 5 / xxx1

The tournament is over and I must say, I did quite well. I won both matches I fought in and earned enough yen to purchase a staff of stout oak from one of the merchants. I shall begin work on the staff immediately to make it like those used by each male child in my family. The time has come for me to take my place in line.

I am soon to be challenged by a strange fighter. An ogre. But he seems decent enough and if I win this I shall soon attract students of my own. I do not know if I am ready to be a teacher. This fight shall see. I have failed once already and will not be suprised to find I am not ready still.

 

[Wicht]

Date 1 / 8 / xxx1

It seems I am still not ready for a green belt. I foolishly challenged and subsequently lost to more experienced fighters. I need to take heed lest my pride become as serious an issue as the beast.

I have been more or less in control for the last few fights. I believe the various herbs I have been adding to my food may be helping. But they are only a temproary reprieve I know. I must practice more so that every part of my being is subject to my will and I do not find myself a prisoner of my own personal demons.