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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Teflon Billy" data-source="post: 2891984" data-attributes="member: 264">Ahh, the Teflon Billy signal<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> I never tire of that sight<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />Anyway, first thing is first.... PLATONIC.Plutonic means "Of deep igneous or magmatic origin" so unless you are hoping for a relationship with her that in some indefinable manner has the qualities of basalt stone, I suspect you are talking about a Platonic relationship <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />OK, enough semantic noodling and down to business.Here is the breakdown as I see it from reading this thread...<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">You guys are contempalting moving in together for financial reasons </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">She would like to have sex with you, but keep her options open for a "real boyfriend" (it has, by your own admission "been discussed in that exact term: friend with benefits") </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Wait--hold the phone--she doesn't actually want that (You mention "she has described her long list of romances in the past as "loveless" and "didn't want me in the same position") </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">You are seeking stability in your life (you mention that you're "looking for something stable in my life: I've not found it my family, my job, my place of residence, my love life. Just the love-life one hurts the worst, because it involves factors beyond my control") </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">But wait, hold the phone again! She's not a stabilizing factor for you (You say "I don't think I could look at her day-in, day out without dying. And IF she started dating someone, I couldn't be in the same county as her and whoever")</li> </ul>What I'm seeing here is a lot of contradiction from both of you. You can't control her contradictory tendencies...but you can control yours.Here's the hard news Bud, and you might want to write it down: You aren't going to get everything you want. Most people i meet in a week seem to think they are entitled to perfection in their lives and it just doesn't happen. So here is the question you need to answer. And by answer I don't mean "post your answer here at EN World"...I mean have an answer clear in your head to use as a compass point.Do I want to pursue a relationship with this girl, even if it could destroy me if I fail?Here is the good news: if your answer is "Yes", moving in with her and beginning to have sex isn't a bad idea <ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">You and she already do all the regular "couple" stuff. </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">She has said that she wants to move away from a "Just Sex" model fo a relationship</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">She has simultaneously expressed an interest in having sex with you.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">You already know each other well</li> </ul>From looking at these facts, she might be sizing you up for something more permanent, but just wants to leave herself some "wiggle room" if it turns out you two don't work.Now the bad news: That might not be the case<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">She has offered a "friends With benefits" arrangement. </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">She has said that she wants to move in with you for largely financial reasons.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">You are her "Good Friend".</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">You have placed her on a pedestal</li> </ul>Wulf makes a point that every single guy in creation should remember...So true. So 100%, Grade A, "write-it-in-ink" true.I usually give a bunch of advice about how to reliably land women, but I'm not going to do that just yet man, because you don't need it.She will have sex with you. She has said as much. You need to decide if you want that. If you do, then go have sex with her. Bone her senseless.Live with her, decide if she is actually the "girl for you" (living with someone will really clarify that for you...a lot of illusions get stripped away pretty quick).But I can't stress enough: If you go ahead and do this, you need to become more assertive, more callous and more stereotypically "masculine" or she is going to find someone else....and she will have told you ahead of time it was going to  happen. So think on it.</blockquote>

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