NOW LIVE! Today's the day you meet your new best friend. You don’t have to leave Wolfy behind... In 'Pets & Sidekicks' your companions level up with you!

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Message: <blockquote data-quote="gideonpepys" data-source="post: 7098537" data-attributes="member: 79141">Session 11 - Prologue 2 - Epic Rap Battles of History (Some parts verbatim from the adventure.)On the morning of their departure, following a final briefing aboard Cavallo’s flagship, the unit returned to the Impossible to find evident consternation among the crew, and a commotion on the deck. The water around the ship churned with fish.  On the fo’c’sle, surrounded by wary marines, and ignoring the angry demands of Captain Smith, stood the archfey, Beshela.  The air around her was moist with sea spray and she greeted them imperiously.  Beshela reminded them (as if they needed to be reminded) that she was once an ally of Duchess Ethelyn of Shale, and that the duchess feared a shadowy force would take control of Risur. Since the unit defeated the Duchess, Beshela reasoned, they must be stronger than her, making them the best weapon against this shadowy force.  (Uru grimaced and gnashed his teeth at the inopportune timing, since operatives of said ‘shadowy force’ were now standing on the deck beside them…) Beshela said she was also grateful for the recent opportunity to demonstrate her loyalty to the king, in obeying his command to open sea lanes to the Berans.  In light of all of the above, she had come to present them with a gift, whereupon she waved her hand and a strange wooden dais appeared on the deck: A five-foot diameter disk, traced with incomplete golden arcs and inlaid with green gemstones in the form of the 'vesica pisces' – two interlocking circles representing mystical connection.  This, the archfey declared, was a fey portal pad. It would allow teleportation from deck-to-deck (or from deck to shore, or anywhere within line of sight) and would also allow the ship to transition briefly to the Bleak Gate or the Dreaming.  Both very useful properties indeed!Both Uru and Leon thought this magnanimity was out of Beshela’s character, but before the unit could respond, there were sounds of a ruckus on the wharf behind them.  Rock Rackus led a motley band of Dockers and Panoply adherents, boisterously singing Rock’s ribald classic “I Had a Three-way” about how he went to the moon and slept with the fey queen.  Rock called out to the party excitedly, but did a double-take when he saw Korrigan, as he apparently expected the Marshal to be standing beside him.  Rock appeared to be under the impression that the unit had invited him along on their next mission (odd, because they had considered and dismissed the idea) and had decided, in light of the huge popularity their recent joint venture had garnered, to publicly and demonstratively accept.  He was interested to know what their mission was and what his role would be. Once again, even before the unit could respond, the strange situation took another twist.  Voices shouted from the crowd, objecting to Beshela’s presence, accusing her of sinking ships, urging the constables to arrest her and, finally, threatening violence.  Things were turning ugly, but Uru noticed that he hadn’t seen anyone actually shouting those lines and that every voice had a faint high-pitched whine accompanying it.  He recognised the influence of creeping fey even before Copperhat the Headless appeared. On this occasion, he was not diminutive, but almost human-sized.Copperhat teleported beside Beshela, draped an arm across her shoulder and said, “Good day to you, Agents of King Kelland.” Then he turned his invisible ‘head’ and made a smooching noise close to Beshela’s face.  She detached herself coldly and glared at him.  Copperhat walked around changing size and shape as he talked (first a large cricket, now a huge grub of some kind, always headless, and wearing a top hat). Occasionally he stood at right angles to gravity on vertical parts of the ship, and once or twice, upside down.  He said he had come to warn the party not to trust Beshela, then revealed that the Unseen Court was having some disagreements.  “It’s at times like this when exciting, stupid things happen, like long-delayed revenge.”  Then he landed on the teleport pad whereupon he and it vanished and reappeared on the wharf, amid a gaggle of Dockers.  He dropped the dais, kicked it a few times, and then the wood and stone of the wharf started to dissolve.Beshela seemed to grow in stature and her indignant voice boomed, “Servants of Shadow and Steam! Bird-voiced singers! Oafish walruses!”  Tentacles writhed about her feet and the spray become violent, and stung the flesh.  Korrigan decided now would be the time to attempt to reason with the archfey, before things got out of hand, but Uru and Leon realised that fey logic would not be appeased with rational argument.  Instead, they challenged her to a boasting contest!  Rock Rackus thought this was an excellent idea and announced the event to the entire wharf.  He predicted that his friends would show “Little Miss Fishy what real heroes look like; chew her up and spit her out like day-old calamari”.Beshela took the first turn, and mocked the party by saying that she had sunk a dozen Risuri ships these past six months, but there was nothing they as defenders of Risur had done to stop her. She proceeded to recount the sea beasts she sent to devour the many captains who went down with their ships.Uru took the unit’s first turn, practised as he was in weaving stories into rhymes.  Conquo provided bassy beat-box support and Xambria whispered a reminder that he had felled Borne with the eschatologist's bomb:You got a metal man rampaging through the fey realmYou would be better off with me at the helmThree-hundred foot tall knocked down flatBy the Lord of the EttercapI’ve seen fresh water hags with green teeth Have more accomplishments than your salty bleatsI may be unseen but my deeds are legendary, I’ve stolen into fey courts while you were sedentaryThere were cheers of support from the Dockers.Next up, Beshela bragged about inspiring the greatest symphony Risur ever created, when she saved a handsome drowning violinist in the middle of a hurricane and over three weeks of incessant love-making she told him all the secrets of her kingdom. But when she returned the man to shore, he remembered nothing of her secrets, and instead wrote the Hurricane Symphony to try to win her back. She let him die famous but alone.To everyone’s surprise, Rumdoom was up next:Still surrounded by the debris from the previous fight,There came a creature so enormous that it blocked out the light.Munching on the rigging in its five massive jawsIt seemed certain that they'd soon all beOn the sea floor.One by one they were dropped.It seemed it couldn't be stopped.What's that, Beshela? We're sure words would have failed her.But forward came the dwarf with a love of eschatology.Cries of fear all around; they quizzed his methodology.Rushing at the beast, would he find a good ending?Or would his soul to heaven soon be sending?Rumdoom screaming out about "The end of the world"!Seconds later to the deep, the beast had been hurled!And while Beshela plays around with her band of merry merfolkOne day soon we all can hope, that her powers...They are revoked!The crowd roared in approval at this one.For her final boast, Beshela crowed about saving the lives of Aodhan and Ethelyn before they were royalty. They had stolen a steam warship from the Danorans, but they could not outrun the enemy fleet alone. In exchange for a promise of friendship and rights to all the sunken treasure, she awoke the sleeping fey titan She Who Writhes and lured her to destroy the Danorans.  This drew gasps of awe and wonder from sailors, Dockers and marines alike.Korrigan provided the final contribution for his group:Oh mighty Beshela, the queen of seas or whatever,Your deeds are great no question I tell ya.If bragging of things you could do by just waving a fingerIs the best you can offer for your fey family dinner.Drowning thousands of sailors is your claim to glory?You’re making it too easy for me, and I was beginning to worry...Hey, want some advice? Nobody’s even got to die for it!You don’t get to brag about your power without responsibility.Your argument in my book has zero validity.Hey, how does it feel when a lowly mortalIs giving you a smackdown of basic morals?Now listen to someone who’s fought for every inchof what’s dear to him and has no time to bitch!I have no great power, no minions, no richesBut I got something you don’t, nor have other witches.See here? I have my bros and homies behind me,We own this earth and we choose how to define it!Some humans, some orks, some others - all mortalsBut tell you what - time comes our sons and daughtersWill prosper and live while whose who oppose usWill have no place here their deeds forgotten.For the real power is without doubts or clausesIn our unity and the will to follow our causes!Korrigan's rap is greeted by stony silence.  Only after a moment of chagrin does he realise the silence is awed, not disapproving. One or two bystanders are shedding a tear. Someone begins to clap, a clap that gets picked up, echoes and scatters, and builds to a thunderous round of applause.Beshela bowed to him.  She said that they had returned her favour - a surprise for a surprise - and her enmity was gone.  Not only could they keep her gift, but she unwove the curse upon it and promised to aid them in the future if she could.  As a final parting gesture, she filled their sails with sea air and said that for three days they would make good speed no matter what the weather.  Then she dissolved and flowed off the deck. Only when she was gone did a movement in the rigging reveal that Matunaaga had been keeping her in his sights the whole time.Rock Rackus came aboard, thrilled to have witnessed the epic rap battle (having used his magic to broadcast it across the wharf).  He dismissed his loyal crowd with a wave and once again demanded to know what his part in this adventure would be.  Before anyone else responded, Copperhat the Headless pulled a gilded envelope from his inside pocket and handed to Rock.  When opened, a tiny tree grew from inside, bearing silver fruit that popped about and turned into birds that flew around Rock's head and sang an invitation in every language:  He had been invited to the Moon by the matriarch of the Unseen Court.For a moment Rock was torn, crestfallen.  Then he turned to the unit with a guilty smile, shrugged and said, "Sorry, guys.  Booty Calls!"Then he and Copperhat vanished.</blockquote>

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