I'm in a foul mood, and I think people should tell me funny gaming stories and/or gaming jokes until I'm not. The funnier the better. Please.
Git typing!
The following isn't actually funny, but it's all I have at the moment: not a Wassailing song, but an Assailing song (inspired by 3rd Edition, obviously):
Here we come adventuring and walking into traps,
We'll remain in danger until we shut our yaps,
Bolts and blows come to you,
And a Magic Missle too,
And gods hear you and grant you the spells that you request,
And gods send you no death-inflicting Jest.
We are not vagrant scou-n-drels that lurk upon the moors,
But we are dashing rounders that pass out on the floors,
Assail the trees, that they may fear
Many a sword and many a spear,
For they bear and fruit the best in the shelter of their glades,
When they dread the cutting edges of our blades.
Our wassail-cup is crafted from the rosemary-tree,
Our wassail-ale is crafted from the best barley,
Pints and gills come to you,
And a mulled libation too,
And gods bless you and grant you a belly full of beer,
And gods send you a modicum of cheer.