Lets Make Some Silly Magic Items!

So I can't remember if I made a thread like this here, or if one has been made before about this, but I'm going to make another one anyways.

Now then, I could use your guy's help in making magic items that are either just plain silly, or have a benefit that also has a pretty bad side effect that isn't cursed. I do play 3.5E D&D, but I'm not looking for mechanics, I'm just looking for ideas, and I can convert it into mechanics. The 3.5E D&D is just there to give you an idea of the kinds of magic that might fit in.

Or you can make items that have nothing to do with D&D of any edition, thats fine too, but lets just go and in the spirit of fun, just make silly items. I'll begin:

1. A Helmet of Thought Detection that can detect your own thoughts.

2. Bagpipes that turn you invisible so long as if you continue playing them.

3. Diaper of Holding.



Those that I like get to have their item get put in a Magic Store's discount bin!

Lets see some items!

Here's a few:

http://www.enworld.org/forum/general-rpg-discussion/307461-makin-magic-items-bazaar-bizarre.html

Ring of Total Invisibility: Makes you invisible to everyone, and everyone else invisible to you.


oh and Vicious Swords.

two handed sword +4 vs. common rat

I have a huge text file full of ideas for these kinds of items lifted from the threads on the subject that tend to come up from time to time on 4chan. Here are a few of my favorites:

• Rod of Rod: Points to the nearest guy named Rod when the command words 'Hey, Rod' are spoken.
• A bag that, once per day at a random hour, dispenses 1d100 sweetrolls.
• Book of Unscrupulous Narration: This intelligent book records everything that has happened in the past 24 hours around it. The book has a tendency to describe things in easily misunderstood ways. For example, instead of saying the party made camp while the paladin went on a short ride to a city, it will say the party slept together except for the paladin, who was too busy mounting his steed.
• A small metal box that, when opened, shouts the answer to a question that someone, somewhere in the world just asked.
• Dancer's Greaves: Metal footwear that makes any form of combat maneuver into a ballet move. Watch as your Fighter leaps gracefully away from that Orc's axe!
• Blade of induced paranoia: A sword that, while sheathed, makes the bearer hear muffled voices nearby. When drawn, it goes silent.

Bag of Tricks, Dun - 1) Chipmunk, 2) Garter Snake, 3) Goldfish, 4) Songbird, 5) Walking Stick, 6) Turtle.

Beard of the Dwarven Lords - this magnificent beard attaches itself to the lower face of anyone who presses it into place, and speaks the command word. The wearer can cause it to change color or style, by mental command. A separate command word can cause it to detach, but has been lost...

Picnic Basket - this wicker basket can be activated once per day, at noon, producing food (sandwiches) and drink (a bottle of wine) sufficient to provide a sngle meal for two people.

Silvergleam - failed attempt at Silversheen created a fine oil that causes any substance it is applied to to appear to be made of silver. This effect is permanant, although the coating can be polished off (or wears off naturally if applied to living skin, in 30 days). The silvery appearance does not confer any of the properties of silver, for the purposes of bypassing damage reduction.

Necklace of Fireballs, Type 0 - This necklace has eight beads, each of which explodes when thrown into a harmless puff of fire and smoke that dazzles anyone in the 5 ft. square in which the bead lands for 1 minute (save negates).

Winged Boots, Lesser - the tiny wings on these boots flap heroically if the wearer ever falls, with sufficient force to subtract 10 ft. off of distance fallen for the purposes of calculating falling damage.

Skeletal Mask - this mask appears to be carved from a human skull, and when worn, turns invisible, and causes all of the wearers flesh to similarly turn invisible, causing them to appear as a skeletal version of themself.

Amulet of Nature's Armor - when worn for eight hours, this wooden amulet causes any metal armor or shield also worn / carried during that time to transmute into oak, reducing it's armor value by 2, and it's weight by half (causing it to count as armor of one class lighter, to a minimum of light), as well as changing it's hardness and hit point values. The effect ends eight hours after the amulet and armor are no longer worn by the same person, causing the armor to revert back into metal.

What appears to be a +2 Cloak of Protection, and functions as one in most cases, is actually a Cloak of Tickling. During any combat, whenever the GM can make the player of the character wearing the cloak laugh, for the remainder of that combat the cloak provides a -2 AC modifier and cannot be removed until after combat.

Mood Mask- it's just a plain white mask with eye holes, but turns a different color and shows your true expression.

Tencticle Ring- this ring is made up of two entertwining tencticles and allows the user to summon tencticles in combat to add them. "You know where this is going", is finely written on the ring.

Foam Sword- +1 prof, 1dmg. Looks so real but clearly obvious it is fake. You can't read the magic markings on it but if you could you would realize that if you crit it destroys your enemy and turns them into another Foam Sword.

Everfull Bag of Stale Peanuts

Stoned Horse

Each item of this nature appears to be a fullsized, roughly hewn statue of a horse, carved from some type of hard stone. A command word brings the steed to life, enabling it to carry a burden and even to attack as if it were a real horse of the appropriate kind.

A stoned horse can carry 1,000 pounds tirelessly and never needs to rest, but is ALWAYS looking to feed. Damage dealt to it can be repaired by first using a stone to flesh spell, thus causing the stone horse to become a normal horse that can be healed normally. When fully healed, it automatically reverts to its stones form. While in its stone form, it can be fed large bags of marble chips, healing 1 point of damage for each 50 gp worth of mineral it is given. On command, it emits a fragrant cloud of smoke that provides partial cover and improves the mood of all within it (+2 Cha mod).

There are two sorts of stoned horses.

Courser
This item has the statistics of a heavy horse as well as having hardness 10, but moves at half speed regardless of load or commands to go faster.

Destrier
This item has the statistics of a heavy warhorse as well as having hardness 10, but moves at half speed regardless of load or commands to go faster