Then theres the Stoned Horse. This makes my inner 8th grader chuckle.
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Lets Make Some Silly Magic Items!
- Thread starter Oversquid
- Start date
Silver Moon
Adventurer
Candle of Kobolds: Once lit, in 3 to 8 round (1d6+2) that number of angry armed kobolds appear within twenty feet of the candle. They will attack any non-Kobold present. Another Kobold appears every round thereafter that the candle remains lit. Putting out the candle will only prevent more from appearing, those already present remain. A total of 200 kobolds are trapped within the magical candle.
Gauntlets of Dwarf Tossing
Allow you to throw a dwarf 3d6 squares if you manage to grab one by the neck.
Shield of Spell Reflection
Shield with a mirror surface, but only spells show a reflection in the mirror.
(That is, you can see the fireball coming in the shield, but it doesn't throw it back at the caster. It's not entirely useless, though - since it shows only spell, it's a powerful tool to discern illusions)
Wand of Pie Fights
Charged with 3d20 pie attacks. (Ranged basic attack - no damage, target takes -2 to attacks for 1 round, blind on critical)
Enchanted Chain Mail Bikini
Functionally identical to bracers of armor.
Bowling Ball
1/encounter
Treat as burst 1 (3x3 squares) area attack within 10 squares, knocks targets prone
+1 Bohemian Ear Spoon
Ok, it's a standard magic halberd, but the name is funny.
Ring of the Air Lute
Let's you create music at the wave of a finger.
Spelling Bee
An enchanted brooch that gives a +4 bonus to spelling checks.
Announcer Golem
A magic construct with a +25 bonus to initiative. It uses its first action in each combat to announce its owner in a booming voice, then teleports to safety.
Allow you to throw a dwarf 3d6 squares if you manage to grab one by the neck.
Shield of Spell Reflection
Shield with a mirror surface, but only spells show a reflection in the mirror.
(That is, you can see the fireball coming in the shield, but it doesn't throw it back at the caster. It's not entirely useless, though - since it shows only spell, it's a powerful tool to discern illusions)
Wand of Pie Fights
Charged with 3d20 pie attacks. (Ranged basic attack - no damage, target takes -2 to attacks for 1 round, blind on critical)
Enchanted Chain Mail Bikini
Functionally identical to bracers of armor.
Bowling Ball
1/encounter
Treat as burst 1 (3x3 squares) area attack within 10 squares, knocks targets prone
+1 Bohemian Ear Spoon
Ok, it's a standard magic halberd, but the name is funny.
Ring of the Air Lute
Let's you create music at the wave of a finger.
Spelling Bee
An enchanted brooch that gives a +4 bonus to spelling checks.
Announcer Golem
A magic construct with a +25 bonus to initiative. It uses its first action in each combat to announce its owner in a booming voice, then teleports to safety.
Is this a real spear?
Is this just fantasy?
Somebody's fiction
Or based in reality
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I have no shield with me,
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
Head held high, status low,
Any way the war flows doesn't really matter to
me, to meeeeeeee
Mama,
I just killed a man...
THE SHOPPING MAUL
This is a sentient, talking +3 Maul of Dancing (CG, Int 15, Wis 15, Cha18) made of alchemical gold (see Magic of Faerun). However, whenever it's owner goes into a bazaar or marketplace after a successful adventure, it will fly away on its own volition until it finds a merchant who has something for sale that will cost at least 80% of what its owner gained on the adventure. It WILL haggle. It cannot be moved from the merchant's presence until:
1) the merchant will not drop his or her price on the item in question to 50% of what its owner gained on the last adventure and the bargaining ceases
OR
2) the Maul's owner purchases the item being haggled over, regardless of price.
This is a sentient, talking +3 Maul of Dancing (CG, Int 15, Wis 15, Cha18) made of alchemical gold (see Magic of Faerun). However, whenever it's owner goes into a bazaar or marketplace after a successful adventure, it will fly away on its own volition until it finds a merchant who has something for sale that will cost at least 80% of what its owner gained on the adventure. It WILL haggle. It cannot be moved from the merchant's presence until:
1) the merchant will not drop his or her price on the item in question to 50% of what its owner gained on the last adventure and the bargaining ceases
OR
2) the Maul's owner purchases the item being haggled over, regardless of price.
GIRDLE OF MALACOLOGY/FLAMABILITY
When worn, imbues its wearer with the knowledge of how to fire-grill any mollusk to perfection.
When worn, imbues its wearer with the knowledge of how to fire-grill any mollusk to perfection.
DUDE'S VESTMENTS
This light garment is worn over normal clothing or armor. Most such vestments are brown or blue, embroidered with "crazy-weed" or rainbow-colored bear motifs. When this item is worn by a character withou the wild shape ability, the character thinks he can use that ability one time each day. In reality, he just stands there and goes "Whooooooahhh...."
When he does this, no creature except members of The Watch will attack him for 1d4 rounds.
This light garment is worn over normal clothing or armor. Most such vestments are brown or blue, embroidered with "crazy-weed" or rainbow-colored bear motifs. When this item is worn by a character withou the wild shape ability, the character thinks he can use that ability one time each day. In reality, he just stands there and goes "Whooooooahhh...."
When he does this, no creature except members of The Watch will attack him for 1d4 rounds.
BAG OF TROGS
This small sack appears normal and empty. However, anyone reaching into the bag feels a small, scaly ball. If the ball is removed and tossed up to 20 feet away, it turns into a troglodyte with a lute. The Trog serves the character who drew it from the bag for 10 minutes (or until slain or ordered back into the bag), by playing "Wild Thing", "With a Girl Like You", and "Love Is All Around" on its lute, after which it disappears. The Trog can only be ordered to play or not play the songs. It responds to the name "Reg."
If attacked, it will use its lute as an improvised weapon before resorting to its natural weapons. If killed, it will disappear in a puff of noxious troglodyte stench. All living creatures (except troglodytes) within 30 feet of where it disappeared must succeed on a DC 13 Fortitude save or be sickened for 10 rounds. The save DC is Constitution-based. Creatures that successfully save cannot be affected by Reg’s stench for 24 hours. A delay poison or neutralize poison spell removes the effect from the sickened creature. Creatures with immunity to poison are unaffected, and creatures resistant to poison receive their normal bonus on their saving throws.
This small sack appears normal and empty. However, anyone reaching into the bag feels a small, scaly ball. If the ball is removed and tossed up to 20 feet away, it turns into a troglodyte with a lute. The Trog serves the character who drew it from the bag for 10 minutes (or until slain or ordered back into the bag), by playing "Wild Thing", "With a Girl Like You", and "Love Is All Around" on its lute, after which it disappears. The Trog can only be ordered to play or not play the songs. It responds to the name "Reg."
If attacked, it will use its lute as an improvised weapon before resorting to its natural weapons. If killed, it will disappear in a puff of noxious troglodyte stench. All living creatures (except troglodytes) within 30 feet of where it disappeared must succeed on a DC 13 Fortitude save or be sickened for 10 rounds. The save DC is Constitution-based. Creatures that successfully save cannot be affected by Reg’s stench for 24 hours. A delay poison or neutralize poison spell removes the effect from the sickened creature. Creatures with immunity to poison are unaffected, and creatures resistant to poison receive their normal bonus on their saving throws.
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Hat of Disguise...-ing Hats. At the mental command of the wearer, this drag floppy hat will change to appear to be any kind of headwear. It does nothing to alter the wearer's appearance, hair, or other dress or armor, simply changes itself.
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