Lets Make Some Silly Magic Items!

[Dioltach]

Boots of Improved Silent Movement: These magic boots give the wearer a +2 bonus to Move Silently checks. However, any time the wearer makes a check, they exclaim, "Shhhh! We have to be very quiet!"

Bottle of the Optimist/Pessimist: This magic bottle is always half full. Or half empty.

Ring of the Genius: When this magic ring is rubbed, a tall, neurotic scientist will appear and criticize everything you do. He will only disappear if the wearer goes outside, preferably on a quest.

 

[TKDB]

Boots of Improved Silent Movement: These magic boots give the wearer a +2 bonus to Move Silently checks. However, any time the wearer makes a check, they exclaim, "Shhhh! We have to be very quiet!"

Reminds me of this one from the 4chan threads:

A pendant of stealth that gives +5 to hide checks, then flashes brightly and plays an uplifting "success" chime when the wearer successfully passes undetected.

 

[David Howery]

I always thought the silliest magic item I ever saw was an actual official magic item in the Tamoachan 1E module, an odd Aztec-ish sword that had a bonus vs. gas spores... those things that blow up when you hit them (!) Arrows, sure, but a sword?!

 

[Chairman7w]

Bottle of the Optimist/Pessimist: This magic bottle is always half full. Or half empty.

DING! DING! DING!! We have a winner!!! LOL!!!!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Bottle of the Optimist/Pessimist: This magic bottle is always half full. Or half empty

KLEIN BOTTLE OF ELEMENTALS

Upon command, the bottle summons an Elemental to do the bidding of its owner. However, the Elemental will turn on the bottle's holder if he orders it "back in the bottle" instead of dismissing it from service.

 

[Hand of Evil]

Boots of Line Dancing - Wearer knowns "line dancing"

Picture Book of Tongues - licking the pic allows licker to know the language of the tongue for 1 day. Alternate version; pics come alive...

Magic Poop - smell like an orc or a dragon with magic poop!

Sham POW - +2 wet towel whip! Locker room at Hogwarts will never be the same!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

MORADIN'S PANTS

These are extremely baggy leather pants (equivalent to +1 Leather Armor) covered with runes of Moradin's name embroidered with actual gold wire. When the wearer uses the Bardic performance ability in combat, the pants summon a +3 Maul of Dancing to defend the wearer.

The command to do so is "Hammer Time!"

 

[Lwaxy]

Ring of Detect Detect Magic

Let's you know you if anyone around you is using a detect magic spell or item.

 

[Dioltach]

MORADIN'S PANTS

These are extremely baggy leather pants (equivalent to +1 Leather Armor) covered with runes of Moradin's name embroidered with actual gold wire. When the wearer uses the Bardic performance ability in combat, the pants summon a +3 Maul of Dancing to defend the wearer.

The command to do so is "Hammer Time!"

The advanced version of these pants adds a time-stop effect ...

 

[d2OKC]

I had an idea for an artificer once that made all kinds of magical umbrellas. ...I guess like the Penguin. For some reason I just now realized that!

Parasol of Feather Fall
When falling, a character can spend a free action to open this umbrella and float safely to the ground.

Bumbershoot of Elemental Protection
When opened, this umbrella protects the user from the elements.

Umbrella of Charming
The swirling pattern on the top of this item causes a hypnotic effect when twirled in the direction of an enemy.

Brolly of Malice
This magical umbrella functions as a magical club, but with the added benefit that it can shield you from the rain!

Sunshade of Darkness
This item covers the user in an impenetrable shell of darkness, granting complete cover, blocking line of effect, etc.

Canopy of Desire
When the user rests this item on their shoulder and faces away from their enemy, where the enemy can just barely see their face, it makes them so desireable to that enemy that they cannot attack them.