D&D 5E How to engage a "poke the bear" player?

I think the best way to handle it is to do so in a variety of ways.

Let him poke the bear at times, and get away with it.

Other times, have the bear bite back. Show him repercussions to his choices. And perhaps these repurcussions are not inflicted on him but instead on others. Like if he antagonizes the corrupt town guard and embarrasses him in front of the townsfolk, the next time the PCs leave and return to town, they find out some townfolk have been roughed up.

Third way is to create scenarios where he must strive not to poke the bear. Stealth missions, infiltration, things like that. Make him see that there are alternatives to fighting, and that sometimes they are necessary.

Fourth, give him a taste of his own medicine. Create an NPC whom the PCs absolutely must get along with (a noble or wizard or other patron). Getting paid or getting new gear orwhatever depends on the PCs working cooperatively with this NPC. Make this very clear. Then have the NPC goad or criticize the PC in question.

You mix and match all of this and hopefully you'll engage the player in a constructive way that helps him realize that there are options to choose from, and that sometimes his character's aggression is not desirable for his fellow PCs or their friends and allies.

dropbear8mybaby said:

OK, I've made it very clear in my OP that I want to hear about creative suggestions on how to engage a player in game and also made it clear that I'm not interested in "talk the player" responses. I know very well I can talk the player, this is a group that has been together for three years and I know the player well as a friend. I know I can confront him about it if that's necessary, but as I said, I'm looking for in game ways of engaging them.

If you can't respect that, then keep your -posts to yourself.

Click to expand...

Sorry but you really didn't.

You said you didn't want the advice to talk out of play, but you never said you know this is the solution.

You're free to make it a challenge to solve the problem without the obvious solution, but then you needed to say so up front -

Most posts like yours are made by new DMs and they really need to hear that in-game approaches can't meet an out of game problem, and also that there's nothing wrong with actually talking to the player.

Since you say you know this already, I don't have to tell you this is a problem with the PLAYER and not the CHARACTER, and so life really *is* too short to try to talk to the character and not the player.

At the very least, try to appreciate the fact that people took the time to give you answers, even if they mistook you for a newcomer.

Regards
Zapp

Sent from my C6603 using EN World mobile app

I suggest that the next NPC he pokes "curses" him. The curse is that whenever he "pokes the bear" in the future, he is effected by one of the following (probably ought to go with just one) for a duration 1 minute to 1 hour

1) polymorphed into a potted plant
2) polymorphed into a toad/slug
3) Effected by Tasha's hideous laughter
4) struck by silence spell
5) goes blind
6) goes mute/ can't speak
7) suffers severe weakness - Strength reduced to 3

To remove the curse he must seek the forgiveness/ preform a service for each person he has baited in the past