D&D 5E Player consent required -spoilers for new adv book

[Bedrockgames]

Please tell me you understand the difference between saying D&D is intrinsically harmful (it isn’t) and someone running scenarios/adventures/campaigns that may be related to someone’s pre-existing phobias or traumas.

And if you understand THAT, tell me you understand that deliberately & knowingly engaging in the second without explicit permission from the player who may have an outsized reaction is intentional infliction of emotional distress.

I don’t think GMs are physiologists. Obviously we should treat our friends at the table with compassion but dealing I don’t think it is fair for the gm or the group, not do I think it is healthy fot the person experiencing or the hobby in generally to go down the road you are prescribing. I have had trauma. It is a real thing and very serious, but not something you deal with at the game table in this manner. It is something to seek treatment for. And other people shouldn’t bear the strain of you having these kinds of traumatic triggers and having yo completely their every day behavior (just because you can’t handle bats or thunder, doesn’t mean they should no longer enjoy them). Also traumatic triggers are rarely as simple or concrete as we make them out to be in these conversations. I really think the hobby has started to fetishized pop psychology around this to an extremely unhealthy degree that is also disruptive to the game itself. It is also entirely okay to take a break from gaming if you are dealing with trauma. But we really need to step back and start critiquing some of the assumptions that have become default around in this stuff in done quarters of the hobby

 

[QuentinGeorge]

This debate is mostly academic because I don't believe either a) people with long term gaming groups are routinely subjecting their players to unwanted and triggering content b) the dodgy dudes who do subject randoms to this deliberately at pick up games or whatever are going to be swayed by a book including details on consent.

 

[Clint_L]

Shoved in their face? That's kind of an interesting description. Look, I get that there are people who have genuine trauma, but it's on them to figure out how to deal with subjects that they find difficult. If dealing with it is telling people they can't have certain topics in the game, fine, tell people. i.e. They're the ones that need to take proactive steps rather than expecting the rest of to make decisions revolving around their needs.

Or...given that this is a game played between friends, we could all talk together and understand everyone's comfort levels. This is not a revolutionary idea. This is what friends hanging out together have always done. It's just common decency. Being a good person means being mindful of the needs of others. One simple way to do this is to make sure that everyone understands and agrees to content in advance, and being ready to adjust if things stop being fun, recognizing that some folks may have trouble communicating this.

Making sure that everyone is comfortable with a pastime is not some radical idea. Expectations of common decency are not some tyrannical burden. I very much doubt that anyone posting in this thread is not mindful of the various comfort levels of the friends that they play with in real life.

 

[mamba]

we really need to step back and start critiquing some of the assumptions that have become default around in this stuff in done quarters of the hobby

stuff like what? Asking the players whether they are comfortable with the themes of the adventure?

 

[MGibster]

One simple way to do this is to make sure that everyone understands and agrees to content in advance, and being ready to adjust if things stop being fun, recognizing that some folks may have trouble communicating this.

I'm not going to sit down and tell everyone exactly what the contents of the campaign are going to be. Mostly because I don't always know exactly what the contents of a particular scenario are going to be. For horror games I do ask my players if there's anything they absolutely do not want included in the game and if there's anything it's okay to mention just so long as we don't have any scenes where we roleplay it out. If someone knows they have anxiety issues when it comes to certain subjects, it is their responsbility to bring it up.

 

[MonsterEnvy]

Before starting any horror game I ask my players to tell me what they don't want to see in the game. What can I allude to and what do I need to avoid in its entirety? I'm not going to bring anything up in a game when I know it will bother someone. But it's their responsiblity to tell me what bothers them.

THAT'S THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE CONSENT BAR!

Just asking the players before starting the game if they are ok with their characters having weird body horror stuff happening to them later on.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I don’t think GMs are physiologists. Obviously we should treat our friends at the table with compassion but dealing I don’t think it is fair for the gm or the group, not do I think it is healthy fot the person experiencing or the hobby in generally to go down the road you are prescribing. I have had trauma. It is a real thing and very serious, but not something you deal with at the game table in this manner. It is something to seek treatment for. And other people shouldn’t bear the strain of you having these kinds of traumatic triggers and having yo completely their every day behavior (just because you can’t handle bats or thunder, doesn’t mean they should no longer enjoy them). Also traumatic triggers are rarely as simple or concrete as we make them out to be in these conversations. I really think the hobby has started to fetishized pop psychology around this to an extremely unhealthy degree that is also disruptive to the game itself. It is also entirely okay to take a break from gaming if you are dealing with trauma. But we really need to step back and start critiquing some of the assumptions that have become default around in this stuff in done quarters of the hobby

If you don’t know someone has a phobia or trauma, that’s one thing. But once you do, the social calculus changes. A friend does not intentionally expose a friend to something that may reasonably be expected to cause emotional pain, regardless of the context.

For years, one of my best friends and I had a running joke. At some point, he asked me to end it because it bothered his wife deeply. Because it bothered her, it had started bothering him. I honored his request. I didn’t continue the joke, even when it was just the two of us hanging out.

This isn’t pop psychology, it’s basic human empathy.

And I’m definitely not talking about using gaming as therapy, especially by amateurs. I’m talking about avoiding pushing a friend’s buttons instead of messing with them in order to run a game. Why make a buddy squirm for fun?

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I'm not going to sit down and tell everyone exactly what the contents of the campaign are going to be.

You don’t have to.

Simply ask if anyone has any issues they’d rather avoid being included in the game. You could even make the query private.

And that could happen while you’re in the planning stages.

Think of it like the warning signs you see in certain amusement parks. Besides asking about your height or weight for basic safety precautions, some do ask about other health conditions:

 

[Storyteller Hero]

It's worth noting that teens and 'tweens play DnD too, with teen and 'tween DMs running campaigns with their friends or classmates, so things that may seem common sense to an adult may not be so to a minor who is still learning social behaviors and norms. Reminding the DM about being appropriately considerate towards their fellow table buddies is something that makes sense to be included in a book marketed to a wide age range audience.

It's also worth noting that everyone at the table has their own thoughts and feelings, perhaps their own social/cultural/personal norms, preferences and beliefs different from everyone else at the table, so communication with everyone about what they're playing should be a priority before playing the game. A DnD session after all can potentially go in many different directions and it's arguably a better experience if everyone can be on the same page from the start.

 

[Lanefan]

It's not. The section isn't about turning into a mindflayer.
It's about adding tentacles you don't control to your body or other similar things

Is that all?

Two adventures ago, in the game I play in, we had just that very thing as a risk: every time we cast a curative spell the recipient had a small chance of, over the next day or so, painlessly sprouting a tentacle or similar from the point on their body where the cure was applied.

Both in and out of character we didn't know this was even a thing until my Cleric's hench grew a tentacle three days in. By the time we figured out a) the cause and b) a means of safely getting rid of them, three or four other characters had new appendages as well. No big deal to the players, a much bigger deal to the characters themselves until the growths could be dealt with.