The rulebook is crystal clear. I've already quoted it upthread!So taking this at face value would seem to lead the sort of dilemma that was described.
Going aggro is . . . for direct threats when the character can and will follow up with violence. . . . Bluffing counts as seducing or manipulating, using the threat of violence for leverage. It’s legit for you to ask the player whether the character’s bluffing before letting her make the roll. (p 197)
And p 194 even has a worked example:
Wilson corners Monk. “I scream at him, shove him, call him names. ‘Stay THE <HELL> away from Amni, you creepy little <person>.’ I’m going aggro on him.” “Cool,” I say. “Do you pull a weapon, or is it just shoving and yelling?” “Oh, yeah, no, it’s just shoving and yelling.” “Well, that’s fine,” I say, “but if he forces your hand, he takes 0-harm. I’m pretty sure that’s what he’s going to do. Do you want to roll for it anyway? Do you want to bring a weapon to bear after all? Oh hold on — I think you’re actually using the threat as leverage, you’re manipulating him, not going aggro. Want to roll+hot for that?” “Oh!” Wilson’s player says. “Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Right on.”
There's no dilemma.