100 Reasons why Dunedain (and men) prefer Elven Maidens

[Rashak Mani]

23 - She actually thinks a beard or face that needs shaving as something exotic and sexy ! (So much for hairless elves)

 

[-Warlord-]

24- Because "Take out the trash" and "Don't forget to pick up the groceries" actually sounds pretty good when spoken in quenya.

25- Because your mother-in-law went to the West. (Insert "Wicked witch of the West" joke here)

26- You can borrow her elven cloak whenever unwanted familymembers or the IRS come knocking on your door.

 

[Bagpuss]

21. Don't have to worry about fat elven chicks.

There's a fat elven nurse in "Seven Strongholds", it made me wonder is there any reason why elves can't be overweight? I know all the stereotypes are thin, but is that a "fixed" racial trait?

 

[jdavis]

There's a fat elven nurse in "Seven Strongholds", it made me wonder is there any reason why elves can't be overweight? I know all the stereotypes are thin, but is that a "fixed" racial trait?

As far as Tolkin is concerned they are just written that way, Tolken's Noldor Elves are also quite tall. I don't think there is anything in D&D that says that elves are always skinny. If the elf chick gets fat she's on the boat for the final voyage though.

 

[stevelabny]

18. After hundreds of years with Elven men, they are so grateful to meet straight guys.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. thats hysterical. but very true.



27. what? they should prefer DWARVEN women?

28. the elvish women have always been surrounded by thousands of trees so they don't mind when you have WOOD.

steve

 

[Rashak Mani]

25- Because your mother-in-law went to the West. (Insert "Wicked witch of the West" joke here)

Problem is until she does go west... she never DIES ! Can be a major disadvantage ! Never mind complaining about your mortality !

 

[MerakSpielman]

29. It's the only solution to the "older women have more experience but younger women still look good" dillemma.

30. Bragging rights.

 

[Nifft]

31. (1st movie) Elf chicks ride long, hard, and bareback.

32. Elf chicks have access to pre-historic Cliff Bars (a.k.a. "Waybread").

33. Where would you rather live: a tree-top penthouse or a glorified stable?

34. Elf chicks don't try to compete with you in terms of sword size.

35. Human chicks don't giggle at the old "do you have any Noldor in you?" line.

36. Elf magic prevents "morning breath".

37. Elf chicks only have that "time of month" once every 3 years.

-- Nifft

 

[Wolfspirit]

12. If they don't have big parts, they can be rewritten to appear larger...

You know, this can have multiple meanings

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

38. Elven maidens are quite willing to up swords and stick arrows in people they don't like, including the taxman, orcs, people with a funny look...

39. All Elves sing well. Even the mother-in-law.

40. All Elves can dance gracefully. This means the post-wedding party won't be an embarrassment - for her side of the family at least.