100 Reasons why Dunedain (and men) prefer Elven Maidens

[megamania]

41 Graceful and flexible
42 Honeymoon in rivendale

 

[clark411]

43. Just like every other married elven couple, your nightly yelling fits somehow sound like soothing music.

44. You get a little amulet. It's so little!

45. If you pull a few strings, you can probably get a nice suit of elven armor (rather than stinky Gondor bird head armor or Rohan "yeah, we like Horses" crap.)

 

[officeronin]

37. Elf chicks only have that "time of month" once every 3 years.

Yes, but it lasts for 6 months...

46. Shows up in your dreams to nag you -- but only once in a while...

47. Doesn't mind if your sword is broken.

OfficeRonin

 

[Nifft]

Yes, but it lasts for 6 months...

Perfect time to go slay a Dark Lord or two!

48. Elf chicks are impressed that Men only need 20 minutes (or so) between romps -- Elf males need at least a fortnight.

-- Nifft

 

[KitanaVorr]

48. Elf chicks are impressed that Men only need 20 minutes (or so) between romps -- Elf males need at least a fortnight.

-- Nifft

oh...I could start a whole line of why elf men are so much more...ah...satisfiable...

1. Human men the romps tend to last a couple of seconds...but time line of an elven male makes it last sooo much longer....]

2. Elves are naturally proficient with...long swords...are they not?

3. Elf society believes in equality of the sexes and actually practices it

4. Okay what woman didn't want to swoon at the way Legolas shot those arrows in quick succession! And he hit the right spot every time.

5. Again with the time line of elven males...fidelity takes on a whole new wonderful meaning...

 

[Rashak Mani]

3. Elf society believes in equality of the sexes and actually practices it

One more reference to Elven male homosexuality ! That is what I call "equality".


I do have to mention that some of us humans do romps that last longer than a couple of seconds... but I dont want to brag here.

BTW Legolas carries a Long Knife... not a long sword... hehe. If hitting the G... I mean the right spot is enough with that I dont know. Like we say here its the magic that the wand makes that matters... not its size.

 

[KitanaVorr]

One more reference to Elven male homosexuality ! That is what I call "equality".

That would be the perfect example of why women adore homosexual men and wish they were straight! Straight men should take a clue from that if they want to win over a woman and actually keep her. (faithful or otherwise)

 

[Nifft]

oh...I could start a whole line of why elf men are so much more...ah...satisfiable...

I wish you the best with your Elven male! Enjoy him to the fullest!

Just give me Liv Tyler...

-- Nifft

PS: I'm all for equality, especially if it means that a woman is willing to take me out to dinner and get herself drunk.

 

[Agback]

... is there any reason why elves can't be overweight? I know all the stereotypes are thin, but is that a "fixed" racial trait?

More likely it is a result of the elvish hunter-gatherer diet: high in lean game meat and low in carbohydrate. (I never could imagine the Noldo ploughing. Reaping, just possibly, ploughing, never!)

Regards,


Agback

 

[BOZ]

That would be the perfect example of why women adore homosexual men and wish they were straight! Straight men should take a clue from that if they want to win over a woman and actually keep her. (faithful or otherwise)

aw man, if i was on nutkinland... but alas, i must keep it clean.

so, if i *edit*with gay men, then women will be attracted to me. yeah, i like that idea!