Can Dextyr Keep All These Strikers Alive? (DM: JoeNotCharles, Ozymandias79 Judging)

[H.M.Gimlord]

"You think to much."

Mikara doesn't even look up from the stacks through which she is looking, only half paying attention to Dextyr's self-filibustering discourse.

 

[JoeNotCharles]

"Hello, little red bat-man! I no Bishop!"

"Well, obviously you're not the Bishop..." (the imp's voice is scornful) "But have you seen the... wait!

Tonk walks back into the Bishop's office.

The imp flutters back and forth in distress. "You can't go in there when the bishop isn't in!"

"See? Is test, like I say. Here is four letter, it tell us what to do."

Tonk picks up four letters and holds them over his head.

"Who read good?"

"EEEH!" screeches the imp. "That's private correspondance!" It darts down to pluck the letters out of Tonk's hand...

"I'll help you, Tonk," Mikara offers to read before the imp can confiscate the letters.

But Tonk passes the letters off to Mikara before it can get a grip. It darts around her head as she reads, wringing its hands.

I suggest, however, that we wait for the bishop's return

"Yes, yes!" agrees the imp. "Wait until he's back, he'll sort all this out!"

"He leave letter. He maybe also leave pay. Is good test for go-getter, no?"

"NOOO!"

The imp stares back and forth between Tonk and Mikara, and then barrels off down the hall, yelling, "Guards! Intruders in Bishop Klogg's office! Guards! Where are you?"

[sblock=Tonk]
Inside the desk is a book of prayers to Lauto. Inside it is a sheaf of maps, all of tropical paradise islands, all lovingly annotated. And a small flask of liquor.

There's nothing else in the office. At all.
[/sblock]

Mikara starts looking around for clues as to the island in question and a map on which she can locate it.

[sblock=Mikara]
Through the open door, you notice that Tonk has pulled a sheaf of maps out of Bishop Klogg's desk and is looking through them... One of them might well be the map you seek.

(Whew. Dodged that attempt to split the party!)
[/sblock]

"Excuse my interruption, but I could not but help hear you all speaking of his grace, Bishop Klogg" Dextyr begins.

"I am looking for the good Bishop as well, as he has recently posted an employment opportunity, that I and a few comrades are willing to undertake. If you would be so kind as to point me to where I may be able to find his holiness, or another perhaps who would know of the particulars of the job I would be most grateful."

[sblock=OOC]
OK I must be wearing a big sign that says "Lauto Sucks" or something to that effect cause that diplomacy roll bombed....
At least I got the 1 out of the way...
[/sblock]

[sblock=OOC]At level 1, a 14 is not exactly a "bomb"...[/sblock]

The acolytes look at Dextyr in annoyance. "Who're you?" says one. "Piss off," says another.

"The Bishop's disappeared!" says a third. "He didn't show up for Lauds one day last week, and nobody's heard anything of him since! He just left a sign on his door saying he was "on vacation", and the High Priest is furious since he didn't authorize anything of the sort, and th e sign said he'd be back today but there's no sign of him! And the High Priest says..." He runs down as he sees the other acolytes glaring at him. "Never mind. Piss off."

 

[JoeNotCharles]

[sblock=OOC]
Got to get back to work now, I will move the plot along and respond to renau1g's complaint about my XP stinginess this evening...
[/sblock]

 

[H.M.Gimlord]

"We could dispatch both
Applethorpe and Bishop Klogg.
Ourselves. No reward..."

Mikara peruses the maps uncovered by Tonk.

"...just a suggestion."

 

[Lord Sessadore]

"Why don't we go find this Zargle guy, see if we can get some more details. And you, imp, what is your business here?" The lighthearted expression disappears from Tristan's face, the elf suddenly solemn. "Then I'm all for going after Applethorpe - he has defied Dayna's natural order and must be destroyed. Payment for the deed matters not to me."
[sblock=OOC]I can run Blade, if ren doesn't mind. Though I guess we won't know now until he gets back ...[/sblock]

 

[JoeNotCharles]

[sblock=July 2 Update]
The new update nerfs a bunch of stuff. I haven't read the whole thing, but I believe Righteous Rage of Tempus is one of them. So...

I hereby declare that, for this adventure, the new update does not apply. Rage all you want - you'll need it!
[/sblock]

 

[KenHood]

"Either that, or he may hire somebody else while we're out, thinking that we lost interest in his absence."

"He is Bishop! Important and good man! We leave note, and say we take job--along with letter and map for to know what do."

"What do you think?"

"Okay, here is what I think... W-what? Why you ask question then walk away? Is rude!"

"You raise a good point.
Go question the devotees.
I'll look for a map.

Find the isle's name,
find a good map to go with,
then find the bishop."

"Wait, wait, wait. What is that? There is funny way of talk again. What is you do?"

The imp stares back and forth between Tonk and Mikara, and then barrels off down the hall, yelling, "Guards! Intruders in Bishop Klogg's office! Guards! Where are you?"

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Why you yell and get much upset?! Come back and talk! If Bishop no want us in office, why close door and make so easy to open? Also, why leave letter for us on desk? Plus, you CUTE! You like belly rub? If I get ball, you want for to play fetch? I have puppy just like you when I little boy, but he run over by wagon. I cry. My papa, he say, 'No cry, Tonk. Is circle of life. Now, go skin puppy, so we can eat for supper.' You know, puppy taste good!"

[sblock=Tonk's Search]

Inside the desk is a book of prayers to Lauto. Inside it is a sheaf of maps, all of tropical paradise islands, all lovingly annotated. And a small flask of liquor.

Tonk fans the book to see if anything interesting is wedged inside or scribbled on the edges. He gives the maps to Mikara. He opens and sniffs the liquor, just in case it's poison. But he doesn't steal anything.[/sblock]

"We could dispatch both
Applethorpe and Bishop Klogg.
Ourselves. No reward..."
"...just a suggestion."

"Is good suggestion. Here is what I thi--"

"Why don't we go find this Zargle guy, see if we can get some more details. And you, imp, what is your business here?" The lighthearted expression disappears from Tristan's face, the elf suddenly solemn. "Then I'm all for going after Applethorpe - he has defied Dayna's natural order and must be destroyed. Payment for the deed matters not to me."

Tonk raises his hand and waits patiently.

 

[JoeNotCharles]

A halfling approaches!

"You apprentiszes, you! Vhat are you doink there? Ztanding around gabbling all ze day long! Noszink but goszip, goszip, goszip. Vell here iz some goszip for you - Biszhop Klogg iz DEAD!" He seems almost in tears.

"Ze diviners finally found ze body - he vas eaten by a szhark vhile tryink to valk on vater, or zum zutch fooliszhness. Not even ze giant szhark - ze ordinary szhark!" He takes a deep breath to regain his composure and straightens his elaborate uniform.

"So off vit you! Take your filthzy goszip elszevhere! You szpeak of hiz death, and poof! He diezs! Szink about zat nexzt time you vag your idle tonguesz, by Lauto! Go! Avay vit you!"

The apprentices scatter in terror and he marches off into the building, ignoring Dextyr. Soon he arrives at the gathing outside Klogg's office. He comes to an abrupt, rigid halt. His jaw drops. His epaulets quiver in rage.

"VHAT IN LAUTO'S NAME IZ ZHAT?" he screams, pointing at Tonk. "Vhat iz it doink here? Vhat iz it CARRYINK? Iz... iz zhat a ROTTINK PIG HEAD? Vit TOOTH MARKSZ? Get it OUT OF HERE! OUT! OUT, you filthzy thing! If you have defiled ze Biszhop's office, I vill feed you to ze GRELLSZ!"

 

[KenHood]

"VHAT IN LAUTO'S NAME IZ ZHAT?" he screams, pointing at Tonk. "Vhat iz it doink here? Vhat iz it CARRYINK? Iz... iz zhat a ROTTINK PIG HEAD? Vit TOOTH MARKSZ? Get it OUT OF HERE! OUT! OUT, you filthzy thing! If you have defiled ze Biszhop's office, I vill feed you to ze GRELLSZ!"

Tonk, mouth agape, stops and stares at the halfling. The corners of his lips curl up. He drops the pig head, points at the halfling, grabs his belly, and starts laughing...

"Hah-hah-hah-hah! You--*hic*--t-talk--*Ho!*--FUHUHUHUNNY!"

Then, he collapses into gales of laughter, falling on the roll, rolling about kicking his heels, and weeping.

 

[H.M.Gimlord]

Mikara addresses the halfling.

"Believe it or not,
we want to offer to help
you reap Applethorpe"

[sblock=Skill Chekc Diplomacy: 1d20+2 = 12 [/sblock]