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Complete Crothian thread (merged)


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Captain NeMo

First Post
Crothian is THE hivemind. He is the great arbiter and judge of all our pitiful existences. You WILL bow down to him, and you will be assimiliated. Hail Crothian! We are not worthy!

(oh, and if you didn't know I'm his unofficial high priest)
 

Darkness

Hand and Eye of Piratecat [Moderator]
Jodjod said:
Crothian is THE hivemind. He is the great arbiter and judge of all our pitiful existences. You WILL bow down to him, and you will be assimiliated. Hail Crothian! We are not worthy!

(oh, and if you didn't know I'm his unofficial high priest)
Actually, he's just some dude in a duck costume.
 



Ravellion

serves Gnome Master
Well, he has a lot of posts. So just go read some of them, and you'll find out soon enough.

(HAHAHA! And then his nefarious mind control device will make you one of his followers!)

Rav
 

Rookie mistake. Crothian isn't a person, it's an organization. Several years back, during the internet boom, an unscrupulous company decided to hire monkeys to click on banner ads at certain websites they managed, increasing the click-thru rate and boosting the profits from selling ad space.

The dot com bubble burst so quickly, however, that when the company went bankrupt, no one remembered to release the chimps. So the poor creatures stayed locked in their sweatshop, subsisting on warm Diet Mountain Dew and stale donuts. The chemicals in the artifical sweetener and caffiene combined with the mold from the donuts and mutated the monkeys into hyper-intelligent, web-savvy simians. Conscious but without the knowledge of social behavior, they were aimless until one day one of them stumbled across an electronic version of the SRD. Mistaking the SRD for the rules governing the universe, the chimps immersed themselves in it.

When they finally found ENWorld, they were delighted to find what they mistakenly presumed to be other awakened monkeys. They have since embarked on a 24-7 effort to communicate with their lost 'brethren' in hopes of one day forming a new nation, conceived in the SRD and dedicated to the proposition that all gamers are created equal.

Chimpanzees
Raised
On
TH
Internet
And
Nutrasweet
 


jonesy

A Wicked Kendragon
Gentlegamer said:
I guess expecting a straight answer is too much.
You're on the Internet expecting a straight answer? Oh my. ;)

Crothian is the top dog. Numero uno honcho. The big cheese. With onions on top.
 

Captain NeMo

First Post
Eh, guy in a duck suit, a bunch of monkey addicted to mountain dew...just as long as I get to keep my position I'm happy.

(all hail Crothian!)
 

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