D&D 5E DMs, what are the most baffling and/or pointless questions your players ask?

[Satyrn]

it's a very easy way to ensure that we get the party sneaking into Mordor as a whole, but still ensure that the difference between 'stealthy' and 'loud' characters can be drawn when entering Ungoliant's lair.

"Wait, why are we sneaking into Mordor?"

or alternatively:

"Wait, what Age are we playing in?"

Unless you decided Ungoliant didn't die before the Third Age and is now shacked up with her daughter. (which would mean that Shelob's mate probably welcomed his death rather than live with his mother in law.)

 

[jrowland]

i assume they are asking bc they don't remember from last session or something?

Yes. Good assumption.

Or are you starting them in a place with no set up, and they are asking why they are there?

oh no, they get full set-up details. Including gems like, "At the Barons request, and with the hope of a payday, you tracked the Bandits to their lair." to which I get, usually five minutes later, "Why are we here again?"

Does no one take notes?

Of course not, that would make sense.

I always have a "last time" segment at the start of a session, to refresh everyone's memory. Since I do so by asking where we left off and what had happened, rather than telling, I also learn things about what they players are paying attention to, what they think about things, how they view NPCs, places, events, etc

"So, who wants to recap?"

*Crickets*

"Anyone remember the audience with the Baron?"

*more crickets*

"He asked you help him..."

Player: "The dude with the hot wife?"

DM (me) eyes the liquor cabinet longingly. "No, The Baron's wife is dead. Bandits killed her. He wants you to find their hideout. There was no "hot wife". Joe was talking about his co-worker.That had nothing to do with the game.

Other Player: "She was smokin' hot. You should make the Baron's wife Smokin' hot"

DM pours a single malt...

 

[Arnwolf666]

You must be young and immortal or old and stupid. Pizza kills. The calories, carbs, fat, easily a CR 20 encounter at my age.

 

[manduck]

We have player who has recently taken to asking if he can make a skill roll on things the DM was just going to give him.

For example, during a fight that started with a bandit ambush:

Player: "I want to climb the nearest tree, so I can get a better viewpoint and fire on the bandits."
DM: "Ok, as part of your move, you climb the tree."
Player: "Can I roll a climb check?"
DM: "Well, I was going to just give you this one. If you want to roll it, go ahead."
Player rolls a 2.
Player: "I don't climb the tree."

Why he would ask to roll something and then give a guaranteed success a chance at failure is beyond me. He's done it a few times now too. Just take the success the DM is giving you! Especially since he's failed every time he asked to roll.

 

[discosoc]

As DM you are literally the entirety of sensational input to your players. What is obvious in black and white to you because it's probably right there in black in white in front of you, is less so to your players who need to interpret their surroundings by your words. Some people handle that input less completely than others.

I love using real-life examples. Your example is very good. At a recent con I based all area (forest clearings, cave chambers, etc) in context to the hall we were playing in. I could just point to places in the room and say, "That's where the treasure chest is." It was an interesting experience and very effective.

I think my players just have really bad spacial imagination. One of them actually did say something a few years ago that she simply cannot visual distances and even has trouble with depth perception. That was what prompted me to start trying to describe things differently for her, although the other players often still don't even pay attention to that.

One guy with another group I GM flat out told me he doesn't care about anything that's not important to combat. So if a fight breaks out, he'll need to know the area size, difficult terrain, and any points of cover. Details like the tapestry on the wall don't matter... Good guy but really sucks the life of the creative storytelling side of roleplaying.

 

[iserith]

One guy with another group I GM flat out told me he doesn't care about anything that's not important to combat. So if a fight breaks out, he'll need to know the area size, difficult terrain, and any points of cover. Details like the tapestry on the wall don't matter... Good guy but really sucks the life of the creative storytelling side of roleplaying.

Guy's clearly never used a tapestry as a weapon. Very effective.

 

[robus]

"What are we doing here (in the dungeon, in town, in the woods, on a ship, etc)?"

I actually want to run "To Slay a Dragon" from ENPublishing just to point to the title every time that question is asked.

Huh - I recognize that one because I've asked that question.

The GM would *never* kick off the session with a recap, so we would generally just keep doing what we were doing until a few weeks passed and then we'd forgotten what we were actually trying to do (this was in PotA where that dungeon just keeps on going...)

It really pissed me off TBH and after a while the adventuring became pointless. Part of the GMs job is to re-situate the players in the ongoing narrative so that their current goal is clear. Restate what they are doing and why and then lead into something interesting. Relying on the players to remember the key factors is quite unreliable.

See: http://theangrygm.com/the-art-of-the-recap/

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

That does get my goat. I’ve played with and DM’ed for people like that. There are the people that go almost comatose until they hear the words “roll for initiative” and the ones that will get huffy if they go too long with combat and start acting out and being disruptive in the hopes of sabotaging things.

One guy with another group I GM flat out told me he doesn't care about anything that's not important to combat. So if a fight breaks out, he'll need to know the area size, difficult terrain, and any points of cover. Details like the tapestry on the wall don't matter... Good guy but really sucks the life of the creative storytelling side of roleplaying.

 

[iserith]

That does get my goat. I’ve played with and DM’ed for people like that. There are the people that go almost comatose until they hear the words “roll for initiative” and the ones that will get huffy if they go too long with combat and start acting out and being disruptive in the hopes of sabotaging things.

I find these to generally be symptoms of an issue with the game's pace and the stakes in the scene which can be corrected on the DM side of the screen. I find that the players who love combat also like social interaction and exploration challenges when there are real stakes and tight pacing. Same goes for the ones who prefer social interaction/exploration. It's when these challenges drag or they don't appear to have a point to them or any compelling win or loss conditions that people start to check out in my experience.

 

[discosoc]

Guy's clearly never used a tapestry as a weapon. Very effective.

Yeah, I keep meaning to throw an animated object at him one of these days. "The carpet you didn't care about roars to life and shows you a 'whole new world' of pain; roll your damn initiative."