Don't laugh..... it's here.

[Hairy Minotaur]

For the readers

This is for the story hours readers. It's a little background on why the trolls are a little bloodthirsty, the party knows none of this yet. They will get to see the results tonight though!

"Pile those bones near the door, there's no more room at the back of the hall. The altar must be clear for the calling to work."

"What shall I do with the blood?"

"All of that gets poured into the altar."

"The altar cannot possibly contain all of it. "

"It won't have to, once the gate is opened the remaining essence will be drunk by our master after he steps through. Unless you'd like him to feed on you once he arrives."

The point taken, the troll turns and leaves the shaman alone in this former church now turned hall of bones. Over one hundred thousand cubic feet of bones lay about the central altar, which was once a magnificent tree whose roots drank from the blessed bowl that still cradles it's massive girth.

The tree's branches which were used to support the entire structure had been cut and whittled away weeks ago at the shaman's behest. Now only a solitary spire of wood held up the ceiling and the rest of the troll's new house.

The shaman was careful not to kill the tree, yet, as he still needed it's inherent magic to power the gate that was to bring their demonic commander into their ranks to lead them to war against the mortal races. Thousands of elves and gnomes were properly sacrificed to bring him this close to the beginning, which is what he told his tribe tomorrow would be.

Vaprak's glorious return to the prime plane would signal an end to all opposition, even those massive frost giants wouldn't be able to withstand the terror and rage that is now gasping for life just out of reach of the shaman's fingers, and in less than an hour those gasps will be hearty breaths.

The main door reopened and a one-eyed goblin staggered in.

"Master there are intruders in the prisoner block, they've killed Twitch and Chef." The small raspy voice is almost absorbed by the deadened floor.

"Quickly then, tell the others we start the ceremony now! I will not have interruptions!" The shaman's voices resonates through the marrow of the deceased.

Soon the former elven church echoes with the sounds of bones snapping as dozens of trolls crawl over the mounds of bones to view the spectacle that is to take place. Goblins given semi-regenerative capabilities through experimentation and augmentation, have been lashed to the tree's trunk and constantly drip blood into the basin below from various wounds on their chests.

The shaman and his acolytes, form a circle around the basin and begin the chanting ritual. The air in the former church grows taunt with the flowing magical energies. Even with their darkvision, the troll's sight grows dim as the shaman's word reverberate off the walls.

A great sound of wind rushing to fill a vacuum fills the ears of the gathered hosts, it emanates from the basin itself. Within seconds the tree begins to slowly spin on it's roots and sink into the basin. The assembled trolls push and claw their way for a better view, as the basin has turned into a twisting maelstrom of blackness and void.

The chanting stops as the descent of the tree increases, it's life force is ripped from it's core as white sparks of living essence leap from the tree only to be sucked down in thru the gate. The last fifty feet of the tree breaks the sound barrier as it is pulled into the abyss. The shockwave topples and stuns the watching trolls.

Pride and wonderment smear their stain across the face of the shaman, as his tribe stagger to regain their footing amid fears of what is to come. Smelling their fear all around him, the shaman turns to his people.

"This is the day of reckoning, the day of the troll! Tomorrow will the beginning to a kingdom the likes none have ever witnessed, and you will all play a part in it's birth!"

The shaman's words calm the assemblage for a moment before small red lights spread over the floor of the desecrated church. The trolls are gripped with terror as the eye socket's of every skull erupt with a red hatred for life. The dozens of trolls try to flee, only to be brought low by the gnawing jaws of the skulls.

The troll's darkvision is a aglow within a sea of hate, then in an instant all is dark. The last vestiges of holiness strain to contain the pressure that aches to rip the church asunder. The earth moans in protest as the gate explodes in a shower of blood.

The fluid coats every inch of the church and a low guttural breathing can be heard. The sound appears to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Yet blackness, even within their darkvision, reigns.

"My Liege?" The shaman asks in a way that suggests an uncertainty rather than an absolute.

A roar pierces his ears and fear grips the shaman for the first time, for he hears not one roar, but three.

"What have I done?" The shaman voices, as his head is plucked off his shoulders and into a waiting hungry maw.

 

[Jon Potter]

S-W-E-E-E-E-T!!!

Or should I say, Y-U-U-U-C-K?

 

[Hairy Minotaur]

Way to pretty elf.

The party retreated back to the door with the warning on it, and Gronar ripped the metal door from it's hinges. The room beyond yielded only a dark shaft containing a wooden ladder leading down. Gronar leads the way, followed by Finrod, Paquito, and finally Korg.

The ladder emerges at the end of a dark corridor, the ladder is attached to the wall as the corridor stretches out to the east from here. The party moves quickly up the hallway and after sixty feet a light can be seen from up ahead, slowing their pace the party stops just out of the direct light entering the corridor.

The room ahead is occupied by three passed out trolls, snoring loudly as their heads rest upon a large wooden table in the center of the room. The light in the room comes from something on the nearside wall and cannot be seen from the party's current vantage point. The light also illuminates several wine barrels stacked against the north wall, some of which have been overturned.

Gronar decides to strike while the cuttin's easy, and charges into the room. His primal scream awakens the nearest troll who raises his head in alarm, only to watch Gronar's blade slice three inches off his forehead and drive the rest of his head through the thick wooden table.

Finrod bounds into the room, running out from under Korg's legs. He charges the last remaining troll on the north side of the table, slicing into the beast's back. The troll screams in pain as he flails his arms in vain to keep Finrod at bay. The troll's sudden movement jars the final troll awake and he stands up to defend himself. Gronar sees this movement out of the corner of his eyes, and he lashes out with his spear on instinct. The thrust shoves the troll away from the table and it lands on it's back startled.

Paquito shoves Korg out of the way as he saunters into the room.

"Hey, why Pokey push Korg?"

"You make a fine door. No? Perhaps next time I am faced with such an obstacle I shall endeavor to pick the lock instead of seeing if it is first locked. No?"

Paquito spies a coal oven, which is giving off the light for the room, to the right of the entrance. Moving there, Paquito retrieves a burning piece of wood an a red hot lump of coal.

Gronar slams his blade through the shoulder of the troll Finrod attacked, sending it's arm flying across the room. It's body slumps into the wooden bench it had been sleeping on, Gronar pivots the blade as it reaches it high point, and drives the sear back down at the prone troll on the other side of the table. Gronar's first strike hits the floor next to the troll's head, his second jab merely grazes it's left calf.

The troll pushes itself to it's feet and starts to run down a southern exit from the room, Gronar rotates his hands and attempts to trip the troll. It almost succeeds as the troll hops for one step but regains it's balance before running into the darkness. Enraged at his failure, Gronar overturns the table and shoves it against the south exit.

Paquito advances towards the two slightly dismembered trolls.

"What do you intend to do with that?" Finrod asks

"Well, I have heard that frigidity in elves can be cured. No?"

"Stay back Pokey , go rut someplace else."

"Relax, I'm going to burn a hole through these two troll's heads. Don't want them sneaking back up on us. Keep your shorts on, you sound frustrated. We'll talk later. No?" Paquito replies as he gives Finrod a thumbs up.

Unnerved, Finrod turns towards the eastern wall and relays that there are two other exits from this room, one to the northeast and one to the southeast.

After assuring themselves that the trolls weren't going to regenerate, the giants barricade the southern exit with everything else in the room, including the coal burning oven. The party then decides to head northeast.

The corridor is straight for the first ten feet then curves northward, but only five feet wide, all but Finrod have to turn sideways and suck it in to pass through. Once emerging though, there is no mistake as to where the party find themselves now, as a ninety foot hallway extends east and is embraced by six cell doors on the north and south sides of the corridor.

"Great, what would a troll need to lock up?" Finrod mutters

"Oohh, perhaps they have locked up a nymph for quite some time. I bet she'd do anything to escape. Eh? We should save her first. No?"

Gronar moves to the first cell door, darkness pervades beyond the barred window near the top of the door.

"What do you see?" Finrod asks, expecting the giant to peer into the barred window. Instead Gronar seems riveted to the door's frame.

"Gronar see door with no handle."

"That's because you need keys to open it. Maybe one of the trolls we killed back there has them?"

"Really? Gronar think not need keys."

"What's inside the room? It is a nymph. No?"

"Gronar check." And instead of looking through the window, Gronar grabs the door frame and rips it out of the wooden walls it was attached to.

Gronar tosses the door down the corridor to the east, and waves off a cloud of dust that obscures sight and scent.

"Hey, Pokey want to know if ninfft in here!" Gronar shouts

"No, it's pronounced nymph. No?"

"Have you come to free me or kill me?" A melodious voice almost sings from the back of the cell.

"Uh.......... which one we doing Pokey?" Gronar asks

"That voice sounded elven! This is a glorious event." Finrod beams and dashes into the room

"Oh, nevermind Pokey, I guess we kill it." Gronar announces

"Wait! I have her." Finrod exclaims

"Her? Well, this little adventure just picked up. No?"

Finrod bursts through the fading cloud and lays the bruised form of an elf onto the dirt floor.

"Korg, a little help please." Finrod asks

"Elfy look like got body on floor by self ok." Korg answers shrugging his shoulders

"No, some healing assistance."

"Oh right, Korg help with that."

Finrod and Korg bandage, heal, and clean off the body. They then help the individual to their feet, while Paquito keeps jumping around looking for a better view.

"I thank you, there was no telling what kind of sick plans the trolls had in store for me. My name is Luciann, Protector of the Fifth." The elf bows to his freedom givers.

"Where are the other elves?" Finrod almost interrupts Luciann

"I know of no other elves, my entourage and I were attacked on our way to Fort Llmarielle. Do you know of this fort?"

"It may have burned down, we seek the elven prisoners taken by these trolls." Finrod responds

"You travel with odd friends." Luciann remarks

"Elfy know who is in charge." Gronar announces, pointing to himself

*meow* a small black cat runs from the room and leaps into the waiting arms of Luciann

"Whoa, two for the price of one. No?"

"What do you mean minotaur?"

"Nothing milady, just making the comment that two extra bodies in a fight are always preferred to one. No?"

"What makes you assume I am a lady? My surname surely prenounced my status as a male."

"Then why are you wearing lipstick?" Paquito asks

"This is not lipstick! It a coloring of status among my order it is a badge of privilege and I wear it proudly."

"Elfy, you got a purty mouth." Korg remarks

An awkward silence pervades, after a few moments, Finrod breaks it by introducing the party to Luciann. Luciann asks permission to help stand with the party in hopes of freeing the captive elves. Gronar reluctantly agrees after eyeballing the elves' weight and assuring himself that he could toss the fey a good sixty feat if he needed to.

The next two cells are empty, as the group approaches the fourth cell on the north wall, a slight jingling of metal is heard echoing through the cell block.

"Where noise come from?" Gronar asks

"I believe it is Luciann's chainmail bikini. No?"

"NO! It is not me! And for the twelfth time, I am not a woman!"

"Well, take it from me, they are more trouble than they're worth. Those things caused bad chaffing in Paquito's spaghetti and meatballs. No?"

Luciann turns around and slaps Paquito, "I will not be spoken to in this manner, my honor has been questioned and I shall avenge it."

"Keep your shirt on.... for now at least. Don't be getting all worked up, besides I know a few parlor tricks myself and you wouldn't want me to send you to the nearest kitchen and force you to make me a sandwich. No?"

"Your grasp of the common language is not unlike that of the roper's grasp on a spectre." Luciann answers

"Highly sticky?" Paquito replies

"No, useless." Luciann answers

The pair stop antagonizing each other when they both realize the party has moved near the end of the cell block. The both hurry to catch up.

"While Pokey and Elfy make out in prison, Gronar find breathing dwarf and gave to Korg." Gronar announces

"Hey, he/she/it started it. I had to defend myself. No?"

"Enough, I wish to pursue this avenue of depravity no longer." Luciann tells Paquito.

Once touched up by Korg, the dwarf relates to the party his harrowing escape from an attack of frost giants, only to walk right in the path of a trollish scouting party. Low on spells he stood his ground and was summarily beaten for his courage. He tells the party his name is Omar Forgewarden a burgeoning cleric within his temple.

Omar asks that the party allow him to travel with them as he wishes nothing more than to have the blood of a dozen trolls on his hammer by sunset. Gronar, impressed with the dwarf's bravado, heartily agrees and asks the dwarf to teach Finrod a few fightin' moves.

Reaching the end of the hallway, the party turns to head back west and check the southern side of the cell block, as the two elves pass the dead end, they both sense something amiss with the wall.

In unison they announce "Secret door."


I have also updated post # 8 with the 2 newest additions, there are 2 more that will be added in the next post.

 

[Jon Potter]

Omar Forgewarden is a dwarven Paragon/cleric. Just starting on his pious path, Omar may not have a lot of spells, but he's all dwarf.

Ooooh... Paragon. I love racial Paragons but have only had one appear in my own game so far (a short-lived Elven Paragon/Wizard). I think they add a lot of flavor and distinctiveness to the races. Throw in some racial substitution levels and you really get some nice archetypal characters.

Or maybe that's just me. I didn't realize how much of a paragon fanboy I was until I started writing this.

Anyway, I'm interested to see who the other new additions are. Can't wait!

 

[Hairy Minotaur]

Of devils and fey........

The two giants pry open the sealed door, finding handholds tailor made for large fingers. The huge fifty by thirty room is ringed with two shelves, a higher and lower shelf, resting upon the shelves are all manner of equipment. Armor, rings, staves, weapons, arrows, bows, and even a set of drums.

The party goes wild as the giants raise their arms in celebration, Paquito shoves Korg aside again as he charges into the room to be the first to salivate over the cache. Finrod's excitement is lessened once he catches a glimpse of Luciann's face, the elven wizard bears a look of concern as the three large party members tear into the shelves as if they were gift wrapping.

Silently understanding Luciann's demeanor, Finrod shouts to his companions to halt their looting.

"Why? Elfy want all to self?" Gronar asks

"All of these belongings are from the prisoners here, it should be returned to them."

"My delusional friend, this is what adventurer's do, they loot the bodies. Apparently this is confusing for you. No?"

"The giants can't use any of this stuff, and I've never seen you with a spellbook so why are you pocketing that one?" Finrod replies

"Who says we're going to free the other prisoners anyway? Therefore I hereby claim this treasure haul until such time as proper ownership can be settled. No?"

"Don't go all lawful on me now, besides you didn't discover it. Korg did." Finrod's mind raced for a better option than Paquito, hoping that Korg would have a moment of clarity.

"Hey! Korg did see treasure first. Korg say we take with us and give back to people who help us kill stinky trolls."

"Hrmm, OK. But, if they don't want to help, or they're dead, then we get to keep their stuff. No?"

"Korg agree to Pokey plan."

Luciann was allowed to enter the room and retrieve his belongings, and while his mind thought of tacking on a few items that weren't his, his heart led him to his items only. Though his mind did record the presence of a crystal ball, a potion, and a ring that if not claimed, he would like to have.

Gronar scooped up the remaining items in large sack and tied it around his spear strap, so that it wouldn't interfere with his walking. The party exited the room and continued on opening the southern side of this cell block.

The first cell was empty, but as they neared the second cell, the party heard a small voice like that of a child's, coming from further down the cell block.

"Free me, please."

"OK, Gronar be there in little bit!" Korg shouted out, speaking for his giant friend.

"Please, I can be of assistance."

"No, Korg think you not going to be able to help Gronar rip off doors!" Korg shouted back

"I am a healer."

"Korg not sick!"

"I wasn't talking about you."

Korg hesitated before shouting out a response, he looked at Paquito for guidance. Paquito shrugged his shoulders, and replied "It must be sick and hallucinating, hell it probably wants to steal your treasure."

Enraged Korg shouts back "Korg say you no can have my treasure!"

"I don't want your treasure, I want to help."

"Go away voice in head." Korg shouts as he slams his palm into his forehead a few times.

Gronar manages to get the second cell door off, and spies the form of a prone human lying end the back of the cell.

"Korg, come check see if this one dead." Gronar asks

Korg staggers over to the cell and shouts "Wake up!" the man doesn't move.

Korg takes his spear out and points it at the human, "Wakey, wakey." Korg says as he thrusts his spear point into the back of the man, intending only to prod the individual, Korg miscalculates and prods the man's lung onto the back of the cell wall. Air escapes the man's one good lung quickly and the minimal bleeding that occurred when his back was pierced quickly slows to a trickle.

"Oops. Heh, this one dead." Korg announces

"Sweet! That's one less claim jumper. No?"

Gronar removes the next two doors, only to find empty cells. He removes the third door and a small dirty figure coughs his way out from inside the cell.

"Look it is dwarf baby." Gronar announces

The two elves move up and peer around Gronar.

"That's not a baby, it's a gnome." Finrod says in amazement.

"Korg have one of those of front lawn back at home, only Korg's not move and cough, also Korg's not in dungeon trapped by stinky trolls."

"Coop, the barbarian. Where you in time? Is he still alive? Where is he?" The gnome demands

"Ornament mean human lying on floor down there?" Korg points three doors down

"Yes, where is he?" The gnome presses

"Huh? Korg not paying attention." Korg replies, as he sizes up the talking lawn ornament, thinking that this must be the smallest walking creature he's ever seen.

"Oh yeah, we found him, but it looks like someone got there before I could heal him. Someone had speared him through the back in a most cowardly fashion. We came across him on a day when I had not asked my deity for the divine ability to return the soul to it's former body. It is indeed a sad day in the life of the Great Paquito. No?"

The gnome breaks down and sobs on the dirt floor. "I kept telling Coop to hang in there just one more hour, that help would arrive soon and I could heal him. Alas, three days of such pleading were more than his body could take." The gnome relates

"Well, if it makes any difference to you, I did speak with his departed essence and he gave us permission to use his fierce weapons we located against the foul creatures that kept him captive here. No?"

"You spoke with him?" The gnome's eyes light up "Is he angry that I could not help him?"

"Well, to be perfectly honest. He did mention a highly irritating voice that kept him up all night, but as he didn't speak common he had no idea what the voice was saying. He only wished that it would stop yammering, he was grateful that we found him and gave him a proper burial. Probably why he let us use his stuff. No?"

"Oh this is a most sad day indeed for my faith, I have failed to deliver in a promise. I should go and say my peace over his grave." The gnome laments

"I wouldn't do that padre, it's pretty sick and twisted in there. Looks like they kept forcing him to have relations with a barbed devil. It not for the sane of mind to view that sort of thing, best we press on and if you would like to feel useful again, I've got a few nicks and scrapes that could use a healer's touch. No?"

"Of course my pious brother, but why could you not heal thyself?" The gnome asks

"I'm not that kind of cleric. No?"

The gnome introduces himself as Ratchet, a traveler in service of his deity, he was studying an usual rock formation when he was blindsided by umber hulks, and dragged here. He relates that he's been incarcerated for a week, and hasn't seen anyone in that time, not even food rations.

"Why Ornament not use magic to escape?" Korg asks

"My cell kept me from using almost all but the most basic of spells, you get used to purified rat guts after a while." Ratchet answers

The party finishes removing the remaining cell doors on this block and returns to the wine barrel room and heads to the southeastern exit. The hallway mirrors it's northern cousin and the party emerges in another cell block. Gronar starts on the first northern door and rips it off it's hinges.

"Wha... is my time up? I made it perfectly clear I was not going to accept out on good behavior." A near elven-like voice called out from the room

"Gronar open door so you can leave now." The hill giant says with a smile

"That seems hardly the actions of a law abiding citizen, I demand you turn yourselves in immediately."

"Gronar not know about that, Gronar just kill stinky trolls and tear off doors with people inside." Gronar answers

"What say you? Trolls, my captors dead? Well, that's a torture of a different scream. I transfer my debt of servitude onto you then, my new captures." A well built man exits the room, he would have been mistaken for an elf were it not for his pale white skin and row of horns atop his bald head.

"Aw great, we got Elfy that wants to be like giants, Elfy that wants to be like woman, and now Elfy that wants to be like Paquito. Why can Gronar not find Elfy that want to be like Elfy?" Gronar states, throwing his hands up in defeat.

"I am not, nor ever shall be an elf, what I am is not of much consequence compared to the multitude of services I can be expected to perform while in servitude of you."

"You can teleport in some hot chicks? Or at least teleport me to some. No?"

"I would gladly send you to the harem of the salamander king, there are hot chicks aplenty there."

"Yes, yes that would do nicely. Whenever you're ready. No?"

"No, I am not ready. I must requisition my staff from my former captures prior to sending you to your doom."

"Oh you mean this?" Paquito produces a long slender gnarled staff from behind his back, "Sorry, I was using it as a crack scratcher. No?"

"What! You insolent little toad! I will have you arrested for vandalism what kind of inhumane person would do that to another one's belongings?"

"Uh, it felt good and fit right. You know one plus one equals tief, I'm mean three. Why would I say tief, I mean that's just so outrageous? No?" Paquito gives the stranger a knowing wink

Caught off guard, the tiefling backpedals, "Well, no harm done I suppose. You get someone to purify this runny liquid on it and we'll call it even."

"He's not that kind of cleric." Ratchet speaks up

"From where do you hail good friend?" Luciann asks

"You can call me Lothred, and I am not from around here, nor am I your friend, sister." Lothred replies

"I am not a woman!" Luciann sighs as he walks to catch up with the giants who've moved on up the cell block

Finrod eyes Lothred suspiciously before moving along with Ratchet, once they are out of earshot Lothred turns to Paquito.

"You tell them anything about me Tannar'i blood, and I'll make sure your afterlife is spent in some nightmare filled quasi-reality somewhere in the nasal passage of Orcus himself." Lothred threatens Paquito

"Sure, next time you try and send me to some Salamander king's palace of joy, I'll not hesitate to show you why they call my special move a gore! I'm keen to your ways, you're not going to pull anything over on me, I happen to know for a fact that salamanders are some kind of lizard offshoot and that's just sick. No?"



post #8 also update

 

[Graywolf-ELM]

I just finished the thread. It sounds like multiple new PC's or NPC's have joined at this point in the story. You've got me looking forward to future events here. Let me make sure I have this right. They were headed on a geas, for the Elf to find the Giant inside? Then they went through a portal to some kind of Northern land, or alternate universe? I feel like I've missed something important here.

GW

 

[Hairy Minotaur]

I just finished the thread. It sounds like multiple new PC's or NPC's have joined at this point in the story. You've got me looking forward to future events here. Let me make sure I have this right. They were headed on a geas, for the Elf to find the Giant inside? Then they went through a portal to some kind of Northern land, or alternate universe? I feel like I've missed something important here.

GW

Nope you've pretty much got it, they went through a portal and were teleported far to the north. Finrod is still geased, and the party in an attempt to wander back to familiar lands, has taken a side trek and turned it into a campaign.

Although Paquito (who is never lost) knows exactly where they are, but has yet to share this info with the party. Maybe he knows more than he's willing to impart? Although the additions of Ratchet and Luciann will help them navigate the local area much better.

Everyone listed in post #8 is a party member, but there will be a few NPCs found in the next post (including the long awaited Paquito-succubus encounter).

The additions of 4 spellcasters (Omar, Luciann, Lothred, and Ratchet) in the party has really kept the party alive the last 2 sessions, and definately last night.

Thanks for reading!

 

[Jon Potter]

Nope you've pretty much got it, they went through a portal and were teleported far to the north.

What the!?! Another reader knwos the SH better than I do?



I didn't realize that they had been teleported...

 

[spacehulkster]

What the!?! Another reader knwos the SH better than I do?

I'm there with you. When did we step through a portal?
and how do I know where I am?

I thought that the "never lost" feat applied to just being in mazes or dungeons in regards to intuit direction sense. Am I wrong here? Cause there's no place like home! 'clicking hoofs 3 times'

DM, you got some splainning to do!

 

[Graywolf-ELM]

The fourth door I believe, under the place with the blood on tap. Stepped through a portal into an encounter with mammoth riding frost giants.

GW