maxfieldjadenfox
First Post
This is a tough one! Good writing, guys...
I will probably not have time to write my final judgement til Saturday, sorry.
I will probably not have time to write my final judgement til Saturday, sorry.
ENW Short Story Smackdown Summer 07 (Winner Announced)
Herremann the Wise
First Post
My judgment has just been officially sent. Congratulations to our two final competitors, I look forward to seeing which way this one goes.
Best Regards
Herremann the Wise
Best Regards
Herremann the Wise
Having read my esteemed competition, finally...
[sblock]I like it. You can tell you took a bit more time than I did, as everything is much more fleshed out. That very well may hurt me. I like the metaphor of the hanging rocks and the fact that weight is what we carry with us, not put upon us. All in all, your story is honestly more polished than mine.[/sblock]
[sblock]I like it. You can tell you took a bit more time than I did, as everything is much more fleshed out. That very well may hurt me. I like the metaphor of the hanging rocks and the fact that weight is what we carry with us, not put upon us. All in all, your story is honestly more polished than mine.[/sblock]
Sialia
First Post
I realize this is completely and utterly off topic, but I wanted to mention somewhere on the boards that I sucessfully gave birth to a son a few days ago, and this seemed as likely a place as any to reach most of the folks I habitually hang out with online, at least when I had time to be online, which I realize hasn't been much lately.
We're all healthy and well.
Please don't derail this fine, fine thread by cluttering it up with congrats posts. If you want to write to me, I can be reached at sialia care of gmail.com
Wishing all the contestants as much joy from all their creations . . .
--Sialia
We're all healthy and well.
Please don't derail this fine, fine thread by cluttering it up with congrats posts. If you want to write to me, I can be reached at sialia care of gmail.com
Wishing all the contestants as much joy from all their creations . . .
--Sialia
Rodrigo Istalindir
Explorer
Herremann the Wise
And so finally we come to the end of Smackdown/Ceramic DM with two great final entries. Avatar_V has given us the tale of Nathan, the wheelchair-bound former athlete, desperate to achieve some form of peace within himself while Trench has given us a wonderful fable of change and permanence.
Both contestants have used their pictures well and in some cases decisively. I appreciated the way how Avatar_V neatly weaved each picture into the
story, none avoided and with all given due attention. For such a disparate bunch of images, this was well done indeed! However, Trench has for mine
taken two of those pictures and wrought absolute and dramatic wonder out of them. I refer to the Foxy one's most excellent Rhino/Girl drawing and the Tree loaded with strung up stones (or in Trench's case swaddled heretic-bodies). Sometimes you just have to nod in appreciation of how a
writer takes an image and extracts so much meaning and emotion out of it. Trench's use of these images was not only a standout for this match, but the entire competition. Trench made these pictures really mean something to me. Well Done!!!
In terms of overall reading pleasure, I have to side with Trench's efforts once more. The initially confusing world into which Trench invites us
becomes a surreal background to the themes at hand. There is no explanation of the world, nor an over-reaching logic to permeate it, instead the focus becomes purely the interactions between Kendrick/Gypsum/Ellis and the girl with the grey hat and Tide. In death, she was remembered and so I feel, achieved the victory, rather than the defeat at the hands of the priests.
While I find it difficult to pinpoint my exact feelings towards this story, I knew the first time I read through it (like carpedavid's from the previous
competition), I was reading something special.
Avatar_V has not been outclassed though by any stretch. The eventually gentle tale of Nathan's inner peace was a neatly constructed affair. The
characterisations while believable and realistic did not however engender for me though the same level of attachment and emotion as Trench's. Perhaps the resolution while suitable and to an extent obvious, was just too simple for the tale? It seems unfair to judge this story so because I did really enjoy it. While elements could have been tightened (the long journey to the castle was exactly that), I think the overall product is good enough to overlook such things in regards to the three day writing environment. In the end, a good and fine effort.
Perhaps the only downside of each story in terms of a final was the level of typos/editing issues in the final submission. While the time limit is
certainly an obvious factor, it seemed that both our writers could have maybe used with an extra day to re-edit their pieces after a night's rest or
break. While not the biggest deal, in comparison to other final round stories, it was noticeable.
And so obviously enough my vote for the final round goes to Trench with a story like carpedavid's before it (the previous winner in CDM/smackdown) that ended up meaning something to me and that would stay in my memory to be recalled for the rest of my days. Congratulations to Avatar_V too for such awell constructed story, as well as to all the other competitors who penned such wonderful stories throughout. And finally congratulations to my fellow judges for their constructive comments as well as other important behind the scene things: Rodrigo for keeping this whole thing together so well, as well as Maxfieldjadenfox for the wonderful pictures that I believe made this story smackdown something special too.
maxfieldjadenfox
You guys! This round was a real pleasure to read, and a bitch to judge. Both of your stories are lovely and probably worthy of publication in a bigger
arena. As always, some typos and tense disagreements and such marred the perfection, but I had a great time anyway.
Avatar V has given us a dear fable called Freedom. It is well written, with strong characters and an engaging premise. I thought the picture use was
good, and that's saying something with pictures as odd and diverse as these. There are a few typos and such, but 72 hours is a short time to put together a complex story, so I won't complain much. I liked this story, it has a sweetness to it. It feels familiar somehow. Overall, nice work, and an enjoyable read. Thanks, Mike.
Trench's May the Air Bring You Down is a haunting, brilliant piece of writing. Seriously, go over it again, clean up the legion of typos and send it to Realms of Fantasy or something. Better yet, use it for a jumping off point for NaNoWriMo and make it a novel. It's an amazing concept, this world of transience, where nothing is valuable enough to hold on to.
I have an emotional attachment to certain pieces of my art. The girl and rhino (titled Daydreams, if anyone's interested) is at least 20 years old, and one that I could never bear to sell. I will never be able to look at the picture again without thinking of this story.
On to brass tacks. Once again, there are typos, and a couple of tense disagreements. Obviously this is a function of the time constraints and with a
story this good, I won't fault you too much. The sentence "watch mothers shield those children whom they had for that month's eyes." is a little klunky, once more due to time constraint, I'm sure. Maybe "watch mothers shield the eyes of their temporary children" or something? Anyway, it's a small quibble.
Picture use is strong. I never felt that any of the pictures were shoehorned in. All of them made sense in the context of the ever-shifting world.
Wow, Shawn. Wow.
The warhammer has been quiet this week, as if it were biding its time. I think it knew that I wouldn't be needing it anymore, and that it was headed for Craig's List. It seemed a bit sad as it started its hum this time, as if it knew that in any other competition, Avatar V would have walked away with the prize. But Trench really brought it, and since there can be only one, Crunch, Squish. Mike, we barely knew ye.
Rodrigo Istalindir
At long last this edition of Ceramic DM (or whatever we call it now) comes to a close. For the finals, we have a pair of allegorical tales. Perhaps unavoidable, given the set of picures, but when I assembled them I'd hoped for something a little more concrete. My disappointment was short lived, however, as we have two excellent stories.
Avatar V brings a tale of loss and acceptance and renewal. Nathan's journey through the Empress' realm hits the right notes of confusion and gradual enlightenment. The set up is good, and helps ground the characters in the here-and-now, lending weight to the conflict and striking the right balance so that Nathan comes off as sympathetic with just enough 'whiny' to make the rest of the story meaningful. That's no mean trick -- it would have been very easy to veer too far one way and make him thourougly unlikeable, or the other and make him a Hallmark caricature. The writing is evocative and patient, letting the story get to the point where the pictures make sense rather than leaping from scene to scene.
The stones in the tree is solid -- the metaphor is critical to the story, and its appearance at the end is emotionally solid and appropriate. The wheelchair basketball is also good, setting the stage for Nathan's descent into self-pity. The remaining pictures are average, fitting the scene, but not as integral.
Overall, a very good story, but just a little too neat in the eventual resolution. Spreading the journey out over several scenes, interspersed with real-world events between Nathan and Jessica, would have made Nathan's epiphany more organic and believable.
Trench takes a more surreal approach, and gives us a story that stands among the best of Ceramic DM entries. Things start off a little shaky -- I like stories that drop you into the middle of events and leave you to gradually discover what is going on, but still, he almost lost my interest. Fortunately, he pulls it together in time, and the payoff is emotionally powerful and actually gave me a little shiver down my spine. Bravo!
The author does an exceptional job of pulling in the (very well hidden) common elements in the pictures and cleverly weaving the events of the story around them. Each stands well alone, but has tendrils that tie the whole together. The only false note (for me) was the wheelchair basketball players -- the notion of being so light they could fly but so fragile they couldn't stand was excellent, but then being able to still lift the chairs seems really out of place. A minor issue, to be sure. The tree as sacrifical ground is creepy, and with the girl and the rhino you capture not only the physical but the essence, as well. I'm glad max approves of the use, as it really struck home with me.
With that, we crown Trench as the new champion. Avatar V, you did a superlative job, and the tales you put together throughout the competition is impressive as hell. You and Trench both did consistently exceptional work. Thank you both for the wonderful stories.
Thanks, too, to the judges for their hard work, and a special 'gracias' to maxfieldjadenfox, who proves herself a double threat with her writing and artwork. For every one of her pictures that ended up in competition, there was another equally good waiting in reserve.
Good luck to you masochists participating in NaNoWriMo!
And so finally we come to the end of Smackdown/Ceramic DM with two great final entries. Avatar_V has given us the tale of Nathan, the wheelchair-bound former athlete, desperate to achieve some form of peace within himself while Trench has given us a wonderful fable of change and permanence.
Both contestants have used their pictures well and in some cases decisively. I appreciated the way how Avatar_V neatly weaved each picture into the
story, none avoided and with all given due attention. For such a disparate bunch of images, this was well done indeed! However, Trench has for mine
taken two of those pictures and wrought absolute and dramatic wonder out of them. I refer to the Foxy one's most excellent Rhino/Girl drawing and the Tree loaded with strung up stones (or in Trench's case swaddled heretic-bodies). Sometimes you just have to nod in appreciation of how a
writer takes an image and extracts so much meaning and emotion out of it. Trench's use of these images was not only a standout for this match, but the entire competition. Trench made these pictures really mean something to me. Well Done!!!
In terms of overall reading pleasure, I have to side with Trench's efforts once more. The initially confusing world into which Trench invites us
becomes a surreal background to the themes at hand. There is no explanation of the world, nor an over-reaching logic to permeate it, instead the focus becomes purely the interactions between Kendrick/Gypsum/Ellis and the girl with the grey hat and Tide. In death, she was remembered and so I feel, achieved the victory, rather than the defeat at the hands of the priests.
While I find it difficult to pinpoint my exact feelings towards this story, I knew the first time I read through it (like carpedavid's from the previous
competition), I was reading something special.
Avatar_V has not been outclassed though by any stretch. The eventually gentle tale of Nathan's inner peace was a neatly constructed affair. The
characterisations while believable and realistic did not however engender for me though the same level of attachment and emotion as Trench's. Perhaps the resolution while suitable and to an extent obvious, was just too simple for the tale? It seems unfair to judge this story so because I did really enjoy it. While elements could have been tightened (the long journey to the castle was exactly that), I think the overall product is good enough to overlook such things in regards to the three day writing environment. In the end, a good and fine effort.
Perhaps the only downside of each story in terms of a final was the level of typos/editing issues in the final submission. While the time limit is
certainly an obvious factor, it seemed that both our writers could have maybe used with an extra day to re-edit their pieces after a night's rest or
break. While not the biggest deal, in comparison to other final round stories, it was noticeable.
And so obviously enough my vote for the final round goes to Trench with a story like carpedavid's before it (the previous winner in CDM/smackdown) that ended up meaning something to me and that would stay in my memory to be recalled for the rest of my days. Congratulations to Avatar_V too for such awell constructed story, as well as to all the other competitors who penned such wonderful stories throughout. And finally congratulations to my fellow judges for their constructive comments as well as other important behind the scene things: Rodrigo for keeping this whole thing together so well, as well as Maxfieldjadenfox for the wonderful pictures that I believe made this story smackdown something special too.
maxfieldjadenfox
You guys! This round was a real pleasure to read, and a bitch to judge. Both of your stories are lovely and probably worthy of publication in a bigger
arena. As always, some typos and tense disagreements and such marred the perfection, but I had a great time anyway.
Avatar V has given us a dear fable called Freedom. It is well written, with strong characters and an engaging premise. I thought the picture use was
good, and that's saying something with pictures as odd and diverse as these. There are a few typos and such, but 72 hours is a short time to put together a complex story, so I won't complain much. I liked this story, it has a sweetness to it. It feels familiar somehow. Overall, nice work, and an enjoyable read. Thanks, Mike.
Trench's May the Air Bring You Down is a haunting, brilliant piece of writing. Seriously, go over it again, clean up the legion of typos and send it to Realms of Fantasy or something. Better yet, use it for a jumping off point for NaNoWriMo and make it a novel. It's an amazing concept, this world of transience, where nothing is valuable enough to hold on to.
I have an emotional attachment to certain pieces of my art. The girl and rhino (titled Daydreams, if anyone's interested) is at least 20 years old, and one that I could never bear to sell. I will never be able to look at the picture again without thinking of this story.
On to brass tacks. Once again, there are typos, and a couple of tense disagreements. Obviously this is a function of the time constraints and with a
story this good, I won't fault you too much. The sentence "watch mothers shield those children whom they had for that month's eyes." is a little klunky, once more due to time constraint, I'm sure. Maybe "watch mothers shield the eyes of their temporary children" or something? Anyway, it's a small quibble.
Picture use is strong. I never felt that any of the pictures were shoehorned in. All of them made sense in the context of the ever-shifting world.
Wow, Shawn. Wow.
The warhammer has been quiet this week, as if it were biding its time. I think it knew that I wouldn't be needing it anymore, and that it was headed for Craig's List. It seemed a bit sad as it started its hum this time, as if it knew that in any other competition, Avatar V would have walked away with the prize. But Trench really brought it, and since there can be only one, Crunch, Squish. Mike, we barely knew ye.
Rodrigo Istalindir
At long last this edition of Ceramic DM (or whatever we call it now) comes to a close. For the finals, we have a pair of allegorical tales. Perhaps unavoidable, given the set of picures, but when I assembled them I'd hoped for something a little more concrete. My disappointment was short lived, however, as we have two excellent stories.
Avatar V brings a tale of loss and acceptance and renewal. Nathan's journey through the Empress' realm hits the right notes of confusion and gradual enlightenment. The set up is good, and helps ground the characters in the here-and-now, lending weight to the conflict and striking the right balance so that Nathan comes off as sympathetic with just enough 'whiny' to make the rest of the story meaningful. That's no mean trick -- it would have been very easy to veer too far one way and make him thourougly unlikeable, or the other and make him a Hallmark caricature. The writing is evocative and patient, letting the story get to the point where the pictures make sense rather than leaping from scene to scene.
The stones in the tree is solid -- the metaphor is critical to the story, and its appearance at the end is emotionally solid and appropriate. The wheelchair basketball is also good, setting the stage for Nathan's descent into self-pity. The remaining pictures are average, fitting the scene, but not as integral.
Overall, a very good story, but just a little too neat in the eventual resolution. Spreading the journey out over several scenes, interspersed with real-world events between Nathan and Jessica, would have made Nathan's epiphany more organic and believable.
Trench takes a more surreal approach, and gives us a story that stands among the best of Ceramic DM entries. Things start off a little shaky -- I like stories that drop you into the middle of events and leave you to gradually discover what is going on, but still, he almost lost my interest. Fortunately, he pulls it together in time, and the payoff is emotionally powerful and actually gave me a little shiver down my spine. Bravo!
The author does an exceptional job of pulling in the (very well hidden) common elements in the pictures and cleverly weaving the events of the story around them. Each stands well alone, but has tendrils that tie the whole together. The only false note (for me) was the wheelchair basketball players -- the notion of being so light they could fly but so fragile they couldn't stand was excellent, but then being able to still lift the chairs seems really out of place. A minor issue, to be sure. The tree as sacrifical ground is creepy, and with the girl and the rhino you capture not only the physical but the essence, as well. I'm glad max approves of the use, as it really struck home with me.
With that, we crown Trench as the new champion. Avatar V, you did a superlative job, and the tales you put together throughout the competition is impressive as hell. You and Trench both did consistently exceptional work. Thank you both for the wonderful stories.
Thanks, too, to the judges for their hard work, and a special 'gracias' to maxfieldjadenfox, who proves herself a double threat with her writing and artwork. For every one of her pictures that ended up in competition, there was another equally good waiting in reserve.
Good luck to you masochists participating in NaNoWriMo!
Avatar_V
First Post
Congratulations, Trench! The sting of defeat is made negligible by having an opponent so worthy. 
A big thank you to the judges, also; I know what a time-commitment this must be! So thanks for wading in week after week, warhammers in hand (in some cases), to help us move this contest along.
A big thank you to the judges, also; I know what a time-commitment this must be! So thanks for wading in week after week, warhammers in hand (in some cases), to help us move this contest along.
Wow. Cool.
Thanks to all the judges and everyone who wrote anything here. Despite the crazy hours, I really enjoyed playing with the pictures we received.
Realms of Fantasy is on the list. Part of the reason I did this was the series of stories I have in the submission rotation are getting moldy. Also, I felt I was having ahard time kick starting myself for a while, and this is just what I needed. It's nice to have at least one story (we'll see if the other three are salvageable) to put in the rotation as well.
So thank you to everyone you read and wrote (special thanks to Avatar V for keeping me on my toes). It's nice to come back from an unpleasant doctor's appointment to this.
Thanks to all the judges and everyone who wrote anything here. Despite the crazy hours, I really enjoyed playing with the pictures we received.
Realms of Fantasy is on the list. Part of the reason I did this was the series of stories I have in the submission rotation are getting moldy. Also, I felt I was having ahard time kick starting myself for a while, and this is just what I needed. It's nice to have at least one story (we'll see if the other three are salvageable) to put in the rotation as well.
So thank you to everyone you read and wrote (special thanks to Avatar V for keeping me on my toes). It's nice to come back from an unpleasant doctor's appointment to this.
http://www.ralan.com/
One of the most comprehensive listings of speculative fiction markets. Organized by pro to semi-pro to freebie to even anthologies. Also breaks down which stories each mag looks for, which is... relatively on-target. Sadly, it comes down to editor's tastes and he doesn't list things like "This editor doesn't like humor". That you have to track down on various websites.
What he doesn't do is mention which one's are prestigious. Flytrap is is in the paying section, but get published there and you'll be read by heavy hitters. Mags like Asimov's and Realms of Fantasy are a given. But mags like Brutarian, while they pay the most, won't get read as widely (Brutarian is actually some guy with a huge trust fund who publishes his own magazine semi-sporadically)
But Ralan is the best place to start. I've been published in two anthologies (small press) through titles I found there.
One of the most comprehensive listings of speculative fiction markets. Organized by pro to semi-pro to freebie to even anthologies. Also breaks down which stories each mag looks for, which is... relatively on-target. Sadly, it comes down to editor's tastes and he doesn't list things like "This editor doesn't like humor". That you have to track down on various websites.
What he doesn't do is mention which one's are prestigious. Flytrap is is in the paying section, but get published there and you'll be read by heavy hitters. Mags like Asimov's and Realms of Fantasy are a given. But mags like Brutarian, while they pay the most, won't get read as widely (Brutarian is actually some guy with a huge trust fund who publishes his own magazine semi-sporadically)
But Ralan is the best place to start. I've been published in two anthologies (small press) through titles I found there.
maxfieldjadenfox
First Post
Just so you guys know, I haven't forgotten my promise to review the earlier stories that won by default, but it may be a little while. If ya'll are still interested, let me know and I'll send my warped viewpoint along to you ASAP. Sadly, I won't have the benefit of the war hammer...
Dwarves must keep weird hours. It was 12:18 AM. I was just finishing up my homework for my tropes class (I have got to stop overcommiting myself!) when there was a knock at the door. Samwise, guard dog extraordinare, didn't even flinch. In fact, I'm suprised I heard the knock over his snoring. I opened the door, not having learned my lesson the last time this happened some two months ago, and there was my friend, the short, stocky, hairy guy.
I could hear the hammer starting to whine in my studio. Plugging my ears against the noise, I yelled, "What do you want at this time of night?"
He pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me, a look of pure disgust on what little I could see of his face through his massive beard.
It was my check. Stamped on it, a whole bunch of times, were the words: Insufficient Funds.
Boy was my face red. I went into my studio and retrieved the hammer, wrapped it once more in its velvet cloth and handed it to the dwarf. He looked it over, grimacing as the whine became a full on scream. Sam woke up and began to howl along.
Apparently, I hadn't done any damage to it because the dwarf turned, stomped out of my screen door and into the night.
Sam sighed and went back to sleep. He's old. It's late. I couldn't blame him.
Dwarves must keep weird hours. It was 12:18 AM. I was just finishing up my homework for my tropes class (I have got to stop overcommiting myself!) when there was a knock at the door. Samwise, guard dog extraordinare, didn't even flinch. In fact, I'm suprised I heard the knock over his snoring. I opened the door, not having learned my lesson the last time this happened some two months ago, and there was my friend, the short, stocky, hairy guy.
I could hear the hammer starting to whine in my studio. Plugging my ears against the noise, I yelled, "What do you want at this time of night?"
He pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me, a look of pure disgust on what little I could see of his face through his massive beard.
It was my check. Stamped on it, a whole bunch of times, were the words: Insufficient Funds.
Boy was my face red. I went into my studio and retrieved the hammer, wrapped it once more in its velvet cloth and handed it to the dwarf. He looked it over, grimacing as the whine became a full on scream. Sam woke up and began to howl along.
Apparently, I hadn't done any damage to it because the dwarf turned, stomped out of my screen door and into the night.
Sam sighed and went back to sleep. He's old. It's late. I couldn't blame him.
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