Gamers who want to date gamers

[SemperJase]

A previous point about recruiting rather than looking for a gamer worked for me.

When we first met, my wife thought gamers were a bunch of socially inept, eccentric, ugly guys rolling dice and saying things like "magic missle". Of course she was right

Actually, when we first got together, I didn't even mention my gaming desires (I wasn't in a group at the time). Not long after we moved in together, my secret horde of gaming material was found. She thought it was strange and didn't exactly believe me that "normal" people played.

One night the group met at our house to play. It was a total flop because she kept coming in the room. OK, sometimes I'm slow. In hindsight, its obvious she kept interrupting because she wanted to be invited. Not because she was into fantasy, but she wanted to try something I enjoy.

A year later, I finally figured it out. I invited her to join in (the group agreed first although they weren't sure about a chic joining in). She liked it and the group did as well, so much that other women quickly joined. Now, my preference is to play a game my wife is involved in.

Now my wife is involved in two games. She plays more than I do. For her its a great social outlet. Admittedly we are more hack-n-slash than acting centered.

Recruiting worked for me.

 

[hellbender]

I am still on Wayside's side. The more I read of this thread, the more the side of people looking for gamer mates becomes clear to me.

Earlier in the night I ran into one of the players that was edged out of my group. It is not the fact that he is a sloppy nerd, it is the pseudo-intellectual banter that slays me. I have players that are cool, maybe not brilliant, but not fronting, either. And this guy thinks he is so damned cool, yet he is a major geek. And he places extremely high expectations (arguably not to be found anywhere nearby) on women. One could safely argue so high as to keep himself single, and maybe that makes him feel better about himself in the end. And these things didn't edge him out (well, the slob attitude was a contributing factor), but the fact that he isn't even a good player, and he's a crappy DM. But he hangs out at the FLGS and makes the rest of us look like winners. Now, I am NOT suggesting anyone here is this far off; as abrasive as I am, I want to think most of you are normal. And I don't feel I am a superior being, but I am well educated and well traveled, and the 'kewl' crowd is as impressive as tainted cheese.

Wayside, if you ever, by curse or bad directions end up in my neck of the woods, you are always welcome to a game. Just don't bring cheap beer.


hellbender

 

[herald]

Ok, I'm going to go out on a limb here. And your going to have to follow me on this.

Get a entertainment job at a Reniassance festival. I've been doing them for close to 25 years. It's a great place to meet women, I met my wife there, and not only do we share the same interests, but we both game.

Why entertainment. Well you won't make any money, not unless you have some tremendous skill, but it's where you find single, available women who have spare time. Chances are the will be pre-disposed to being interested in fantasy lit and movies. Chances are thet they will be intellegent as well. Looks will be the same scale as found anywere, (and the same can be said for the men.)

Now maybe your asking yourself, "I don't want to learn how to act." Well maybe that's true but, while your taking brakes, going to lunch and ectera, you have a prime opportunity to meet and smooze people you are interested in.

Most acting classes are based on improv (which gamers are predisposed to) and tend to loose people up.

And for guys, WOMEN TEND TO OUT NUMBER THE MEN.

 

[Arravis]

Doc_Souark wrote:
***I think that Human and opposite gender is a given for most of us on this board Arravis. Not that I'm against those that perfer the same gender of course( no need to open that can of worms).***

I was being sarcastic, my feeble attempt at humor .


Wayside wrote:
***The people at my FLGS have never heard of Ulver; or DNTEL; or Thrice; The Rx Bandits; Jump, Little Children; Cat Power; The Postal Service; The Get Up Kids; Further Seems Forever; or literally a thousand other bands, a few hundred of which I listen to on any given day.***

Well I enjoy Kode IV, Stuffing Martha's Muffin, Snooks Eglin, Agent Orange, Meg Lee Chin, Cinerama, Frank N' Walters, Nicole Blackman, Golden Palominos, Warlock Pinchers, Wendy Carlos, Tosca and any other thousands of bands, which I listen to everyday that no one has heard of.

Everyone has "unique" taste in music. Trust me, this in no way makes you special or better then anyone else. It actually makes you just like everyone else.


***They don't know Drive Thru Records or Vagrant Records (the biggest indie act labels). If they're trendy they maybe go to the Warped Tour to see Blink 182 or Green Day. They listen to KWOD and probably watch MTV.***

Netwerk Records? In Your Ear and Out Your Mother Records?

See above. Though I highly suspect that the average gamer (if such a thing really exists anymore) doesn't watch MTV much. It's meaningless either way though.


***They can tell me as little about Mei-Mei Berssenbrugge (which I expect) as S. T. Coleridge or Arnold (which I expect them to know). Some of them think they know something about Nietzsche and Freud. That is annoying. They can't tell the difference between Kant and Goethe and Schiller; Butler and Sedgewick and Rich; Derrida and Saussere and Foucault; and Barthes would be just lost on them.
It is unlikely any of them would ever throw Searle at me in an argument over whether artificial intelligence is possible, or what forms of poetry would evolve in a mute community employing signs exclusively, thus substituting proximity to painting and sculpture for proximity to music.***

Let's see, I have a bachelor's degree in Graphic Design with a minor in Philosophy, guess I'm not qualified. Perhaps my two gamer friends here at work don't qualify either: both have a bachelor's in philosophy and a master's in English. I guess they don't qualify. Neither do the rocket scientist and mathematician in our group... yep, clearly they couldn't hold an intelligent conversation. Damn gamers... I'm sure all gamers are dull, dumb and unimaginative.

I'm sure you too "think" you know Kant or Goethe, or Popper, or Soho. It's incredibly irrelevant either way. The ability to spout a list of philosophers, artistic concepts or any other banalities doesn't make you special or unique.

I don't see any difference between you and any of the "gamers" I know, you sound just like most of them actually. Gaming stores are filled with guys just like you. Well, other then your completely unwarranted arrogance and elitist attitude.

You're special and unique, just like everyone else. I recommend getting over it.

 

[Rel]

One brief comment about the "argument" that seems to be unfolding here:

One side is saying, "I want to date gamers."

The subtext that I think is implied for most of the people on that side is, "That's my preference, just like I might prefer someone who is brunette and has a job. I am not however suggesting that I would never date someone who doesn't fit these preferences. They're just preferences."

The other side appears to be saying, "You shouldn't have preferences. You are limiting yourself."

To the first side, that sounds ludicrous. If they set up gaming as a criteria, it would be a different story.

As for me, my wife is a "casual gamer" and I think our relationship is a little better for it. But far more important than that is the fact that she respects me and doesn't demean my hobby and try to prevent me from doing it. If she did, it would have serious implications about the viability of our relationship that have nothing to do with gaming itself.

 

[Doc Ezra]

I don't see any difference between you and any of the "gamers" I know, you sound just like most of them actually. Gaming stores are filled with guys just like you. Well, other then your completely unwarranted arrogance and elitist attitude.

You're special and unique, just like everyone else. I recommend getting over it.

Arravis wins...

FATALITY.

 

[Buttercup]

Shared interests are great, but it's not a requirement to share everything.]

How true. For example, my husband loves Bob Dylan, whereas I want to hurl when I hear him. I'm a closet head-banger, and heavy metal bores him.

The one, single requirement for long-lasting happy marriages is friendship. Before you can truly love someone, you have to like them.

Again you're correct. If you aren't freinds, you end up looking at someone across the kitchen table that you really don't want to spend another minute with, let alone another 20 years.

 

[blackshirt5]

Arravis wins...

FATALITY.

I snarked iced tea when I read that.

 

[Buttercup]

Hm. Buttercup, it sounds like you grew up on a nice, highly civilized planet of wise, enlightened, and mature people. You must miss it terribly

Actually, all my friends are sane and civilized. I got tired of lunatics a few years ago.

 

[blackshirt5]

Actually, all my friends are sane and civilized. I got tired of lunatics a few years ago.

Then what are you doing hanging out on ENWorld if you're tired of lunatics?