How to tell a friend's girlfriend to get a job or something?

[MadMaxim]

Did you asked permission to talk to her about getting a job?

Back out of that now. He's gotta learn. The only thing you can do is support him when the relationship fail (and it will most likely fail).

No, I didn't ask for permission. I just asked him, if he didn't think she should get a job, because he seriously can't keep paying the bills. He has got a couple of loans in the bank, a car to pay insurance on and then there's the apartment and general living expenses. He then gave me permission to ask her about getting a job, so he sort of asked for my advice himself.

But you're right. He has to learn somehow. I just think it sucks for him to learn it the hard way when there are other alternatives. And it's NOT because I want the girl. I'm just a concerned friend, that's all...

 

[der_kluge]

I agree with Eric and TB here. A) it's really none of your business and B) if you do feel so inclined to talk about it, discuss it with your friend. He may be perfectly happy, and wouldn't understand why you weren't equally happy for him.

 

[RangerWickett]

Easy, go over to his house and play The Offspring's "why don't you get a job." on the CD player.

And after that, play "Give Me My Money Back."

Seriously, people never listen to advice from friends when relationships are concerned. If it'll make you feel better, write him a letter, copy it, and hand him both. After he reads it, have him seal the copy in an envelope and sign and date it. Then, when he complains later, you can pull out the envelope and say, "I told you so."

 

[JRRNeiklot]

Sleep with her.

 

[EricNoah]

I just think it sucks for him to learn it the hard way when there are other alternatives.

It occurs to me that we are trying to do the same thing -- help you avoid learning something "the hard way." But the difference is you asked for the help/advice. So maybe just be ready with some good advice for your friend when the time comes.

 

[alsih2o]

Yeppers, be there for him when he lands hard.

That is your job as a friend. Sometimes we gotta watch people make what we percieve to be dumb mistakes.







Good friends have watched me do it.

 

[the Jester]

But you're right. He has to learn somehow. I just think it sucks for him to learn it the hard way when there are other alternatives.

Unfortunately, no there aren't. :\ One thing I have learned is that you have to make your own mistakes- you can't learn from someone else's.

Leave well enough alone or you're likely to end up in a very uncomfortable position and maybe losing a friend or gaming group out of it.

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

Stay out of it. I had a great friend and roommate in college who had an awful sucking barnacle of a girlfriend who needed to be pushed under a truck. I brought it up. I no longer have that great friend.

It's his penis, and his problem.

And now I'm off to download "Get a Job" off iTunes ...

 

[Angel Tarragon]

I think I would just butt out and let the two of them deal with it. He'll either learn a painful (but necessaary) lesson, or she'll change, or whatever, but since it doesn't really affect you directly (they don't live with you, right?), it's ultimately not your problem.

That'd be my advice as well.

 

[IronWolf]

Yep, I would stay out of it. Some things just need to be learned and like TB says there may be reasons he lets it happen and he considers the trade off worthwhile. If your friend happens to ask you or lets conversation wander to that area then by all means tell him then. Otherwise I would probably just let it go and keep out of it.