I love my friends but I want to kill one of them, Help me.
Honestly, just be yourself, if youre not a naturally "sweet" guy, dont start acting totally out of character. Find something you both like and just ask her to join you doing it. Become friends first, it really helps in the long run. I recommend not going straight to the dating phase if you can help it. Once she likes you for you, start showing her the affection, send her a single rose or offer to cook her dinner (if you can, not sure of your housing situation). Whatever you dont, dont do anything you see in the movies, it really dosent work that way.
Remember, be yourself and hopefully she'll like you for that. I was a friend with my then future wife for about 3 months before i asked her out, now we've been together for over 10 years. I think that feeling out period where we got to know each other was a huge help.
Remember, be yourself and hopefully she'll like you for that. I was a friend with my then future wife for about 3 months before i asked her out, now we've been together for over 10 years. I think that feeling out period where we got to know each other was a huge help.
Hmm, I'd like to offer my vast experience here. We learn from our mistakes, and trust me, I used to make plenty of them. Right now I'm so wise I could build a hut in the mountains and teach martial arts to young men who come to me as a last resort in their fight against evil.
Tip 1: Make her laugh. Laughter is an aphrodisiac.
Tip 2: Don't hog the conversation. Let her do the talking, and limit your side largely to questions, short comments and injections of humour (see above). On the other hand, if she asks you something, make sure you have something to say.
Tip 3: Flirt with her. A bit of light flirting allows you to show her that you're attracted to her and gives her an opportunity to let you know whether it's mutual.
Tip 4: Once you've started flirting, don't wait too long before making your move. Nothing kills off your chances with a girl like letting the initial fascination fade and entering the 'friend zone'. Once you're there, odds are she'll never be romantically attracted to you again.
Good luck! And stay away from girls with boyfriends. There's nothing there but heartache.
Tip 1: Make her laugh. Laughter is an aphrodisiac.
Tip 2: Don't hog the conversation. Let her do the talking, and limit your side largely to questions, short comments and injections of humour (see above). On the other hand, if she asks you something, make sure you have something to say.
Tip 3: Flirt with her. A bit of light flirting allows you to show her that you're attracted to her and gives her an opportunity to let you know whether it's mutual.
Tip 4: Once you've started flirting, don't wait too long before making your move. Nothing kills off your chances with a girl like letting the initial fascination fade and entering the 'friend zone'. Once you're there, odds are she'll never be romantically attracted to you again.
Good luck! And stay away from girls with boyfriends. There's nothing there but heartache.
Arbiter of Wyrms
First Post
I met my wife when a woman I'd just met (soon to be girlfriend) introduced me to her and her then-boyfriend.Dioltach said:
I say this not so much to contradict what Dioltach says or what he means, but only to point out that there are no absolutes, just overwhelming tendencies. Look not to exceptions like mine for a prediction of what the world holds, but towards the broad strokes that are sometimes imprecise.
People are driven by fairly straightforward, and unromantic, mating urges.
I believe that Warlord is in a place in his life right now, a demographic, which makes dating very frustrating for a guy who isn't the beer-swilling, philandering, jock-mentality stereotype men are made out to be.
I was one of those sensitive-guys stereotypes when I was in my late-teens/early twenties. I'm here to testify that being one makes it hard to achieve the ends that sensitive guys are too often too politely timid to admit they want just as much as anybody else.
Older men use the fact that they are older and more financially established and have thus demonstrated some genetic advantage in living past 25 to secure as many girls of barely reproductive age as they can support and demand mating rights to.
Young women use their youth and health to appeal, first to older mates able to support them while they raise there young, and then to younger, more promising mates.
Young men try to outdo one another to win the affection of some woman who is already mated to someone who can support her children or to win an exclusive mate and get a head start on being an older man.
For all three, there are two pressures: (1) match your own genes with as many possible superior mates as possible and (2) ensure that as many of your offspring as possible live to breeding age. For men, pressure 1 overrides pressure 2. We have the advantage of relatively short minimum commitment to each offspring. For women, their much greater minimum commitment to each birth requires that they be more selective in choosing mates.
This unromantic, brutally pragmatic (in prehistoric, biological terms) presumes that women are almost perpetually pregnant from the time they are able to bear young until they die in childbirth - hence the absence of old women in the model. It also presupposes that polygamy and infidelity are the norm.
Thornir Alekeg
Albatross!
In college I was the nice guy that had tons of female friends, but none of them were ever my girlfriend - I was the "sweet, safe guy" to whom they would come and bawl about their boyfriends.
My advice - don't be a doormat. If you like this girl, don't do everything you can to make her happy. You need to make sure you take a stand for yourself sometimes. That was my problem. One of my closest female friends told me that I was "too nice." It took me quite a long time to figure out just what she meant. She didn't mean I should be a jerk, but I needed to assert myself sometimes. Make sure you do that if you are really interested in this girl.
My advice - don't be a doormat. If you like this girl, don't do everything you can to make her happy. You need to make sure you take a stand for yourself sometimes. That was my problem. One of my closest female friends told me that I was "too nice." It took me quite a long time to figure out just what she meant. She didn't mean I should be a jerk, but I needed to assert myself sometimes. Make sure you do that if you are really interested in this girl.
Tewligan
First Post
Well, given that you have a history of trying to get girls to break up with their boyfriends in that circle of friends, I'm not super-surprised that the guys aren't breaking down your door to beg you to come back. Go ahead and keep up the friendships you think are worth keeping, but don't expect the boyfriends to be thrilled at first - they may come around and take you back into the fold eventually, as long as you don't try any more dick moves like angling for their girlfriends again.warlord said:
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