The puffin waddles to the front of the room, stands at the podium, then clears his throat. It sounds vaguely bird-like.
Finally speaking, it says, "Hi, I'm Emiricol and I'm a member of BATGNOME."
Crowd: "Hi, Emiricol!"
The puffin pauses, then says, "I fell off the wagon today. I... I posted in a 3.5 threat!"
(much sobbing)
"Yes, I felt the need to tell everyone that my 3.5 books haven't yet arrived. It wasn't my fault, though! Some OTHER guy started a thread! There it was, just sitting in front of me... I couldn't resist..."