New Spells - Constructive criticism wanted.

[Starfire]

Hi all,

First time poster, so nice to be here, and I'd like to start by asking if anybody with a spare few minutes could look a spell please. There are more to come eventually too.

Basically, I've never tried to create my own spells before so gauging them is proving difficult. This is a spell to be created in character by my Eldritch Knight (A Sun Elf - Kerith) so balancing them for other wizards isn't the priority, I just don't want to a) create a complete piece of rubbish or b) break a game with a stupid spell.

That said, here goes:

Kerith's Tenacious Bond
Sor/Wiz 4
School: Evocation
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Effect: Ray
Range: Close (25ft +5ft / 2 caster levels)
Duration: 1 round / caster level (Maximum 10) (d).
Saving throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes

Description: A ray of light eminates from the caster's hand needing a ranged touch attack to hit it's target (which may only be a single creature of a size category no larger than yours-plus-one). If the attack succeeds, the ray stays in place bonding the caster and the target together, albeit at a distance. Every step taken toward each other taken by either caster or target forces the beam to contract to match the new distance apart, however the beam can never expand and resists any force attempting to stretch it. All other creatures and objects but caster and target find the beam 100% immaterial and harmless. Translocational magics affecting one now also affect the other however a saving throw is permitted (optionally) to a bonded creature who did not cast the translocation as if the spell had been maliciously cast upon them. If this saving throw passes, the translocation fails for both creatures, if it fails, both creatures are translocated. The material component for this spell is an iron bar no shorter than six inches.

Now, I appreciate that the spell is powerful if used correctly. It's function (for me) would be to pin enemy casters and rogues with it (or indeed, anybody I feel I could successfully handle in melee). I know having no saving throw is controversial, so I'd like some suggestions on that, also:

1) Correct spell level?
2) Correct targeting method?
3) Can somebody please help me (at the end of this discussion) to write this in a non-abusable fashion? (i.e. as it would be written in the PHB.)

Thanks in advance!

 

[the Jester]

I would definitely allow a Will save, maybe take out the ranged touch attack and size limit... perhaps replacing it with a HD limit?

Here's my take on it, with my changes in italics.

Kerith's Tenacious Bond
Evocation
Level: Sor/Wiz 4
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25ft +5ft / 2 caster levels)
Target: One creature
Duration: 1 round / caster level (Maximum 10) (d).
Saving throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

Description: With this spell, you bond yourself and a single other creature together (albeit at a distance). A visible ribbon of light ripples between you and the target. Every step taken toward each other taken by you or the target forces the beam to contract to match the new distance apart. However, the beam can never expand and resists any force attempting to stretch it. All other creatures and objects but you and the target find the ribbon of light 100% immaterial and harmless. Magic or psionics with the teleportation subschool or that physically shifts its subject to another plane affecting you also affect the target and vice-versa; however, if either you or the target are unwilling, a saving throw is permitted to negate the teleportation or plane shift effect. If this saving throw succeeds, the translocation fails for both creatures. If it fails, both creatures are translocated.

Material component: An iron bar no shorter than six inches.

 

[Kisanji Arael]

You should specify whether or not one creature can use the tether to pull the other closer to him or her.

Because personally I would not, as a Wizard, want to cast this spell on an escaping fighter only to have him pull me behind him.

 

[Starfire]

You should specify whether or not one creature can use the tether to pull the other closer to him or her.

Because personally I would not, as a Wizard, want to cast this spell on an escaping fighter only to have him pull me behind him.

That's another thing I wanted advice on actually, now you mention it. I would probably want it immobile, so no dragging at all. If you were able to play tug of war with it, what rules would be used for it, opposed strength checks? Bullrush? I don't know.

My character has 18STR too, so whilst not more than every fighter's, enough to just about hold his own in this scenario.

 

[Starfire]

I would definitely allow a Will save, maybe take out the ranged touch attack and size limit... perhaps replacing it with a HD limit?

Here's my take on it, with my changes in italics....

That's really good, thanks! My only worry is, with it being a will save, I'd rarely ensnare any casters as the spell was originally designed for. I could still target rogues and fighters without too much hassle I'd imagine, but no diver or arcane casters would really be troubled. :\

Is there a third alternative?

 

[the Jester]

That's really good, thanks! My only worry is, with it being a will save, I'd rarely ensnare any casters as the spell was originally designed for. I could still target rogues and fighters without too much hassle I'd imagine, but no diver or arcane casters would really be troubled. :\

Well, imho this spell needs a save, and neither Fort nor Ref makes much sense.