I signed up for AOL's Bring Your Own Access plan because I thought it would be nice to have a big online email storage account. They let you attach 10 megabytes per email and have a very generous limit on the number of emails that you can store.
It is a good deal if you need to be able to move large amounts of data around and access it from various locations. Fortunately for me, my work just upgraded our entire computer infrastructure and I now have a 400 megabyte email account. I no longer needed the AOL account.
Well, my free trial time was coming to a close so I called to cancel. I had not used the service AT ALL during the time that I had it and I did not want to pay anything.
My call was taken by a very polite man named, and I kid you not, Habib. It sounded like Habib was from, or currently in, India.
I explained to Habib that I was a Bring Your Own Access customer and that I wanted to cancel my account before my trial period ended. I told him that I had been a trial customer for about a month now and had not sent or received a single email using my AOL account. I told him that I had no interest in using any other part of AOL, and that I had not even installed the AOL software.
Habib was distressed. He asked if he could extend my free trial period until March of 2004. I would not be billed. He guaranteed it. If I was billed I could call him personally and he would fix it.
I replied that I had not used the service, and that I would not use the service, and was not at all interested. Please cancel my account. We went back and forth for a couple of minutes as Habib detailed EXTENSIVELY the features that AOL offers. After each feature he would say, "Do you think that you might use that?" I would reply, "No, Habib, please just cancel my account."
At this point I was worried that Habib might start crying. He implored me to allow him to extend my free trial until June of 2004. His exact quote was, "As a friend and fellow human being, please allow me to keep your account open until June of 2004. There will be no charge. No charge!"
Ok, now I genuinely started to fear that Habib would keep me on the phone for hours. I also started to wonder if Habib would be beaten severely by his managers if he had to close my account. I am not sure what the labor laws are like in India, but I hope he is still okay.
I said that I really appreciated the offer, but that I was not interested. Habib was not ready to quit yet. He reached deep into his bag of tricks and said dramatically, "There, I have stopped your billing. Use the service and pay when you want to. Use it and if you want to pay, call us back and pay. There will be no charge unless you call back!"
I was now convinced that Habib was a dead man if I cancelled my account. Unfortunately for Habib, I did not want to call back later and fix a billing problem when AOL realized that I had been using their service for 6 years without paying a cent. I said, "Habib, I appreciate what you are trying to do. You have a job and part of that job is to convince me to not cancel my account. I understand that. Habib, please, as a fellow human being, cancel my account."
There was silence for a few moments. Then a few more moments. And finally I could hear Habib typing. When he spoke again, Habib said, "It is done. I have done it. I have cancelled your account." He said it like he had done something unspeakably vile. He said it like you would imagine a murderer confessing to a mass homicide. I almost felt dirty when I hung up.
It is a good deal if you need to be able to move large amounts of data around and access it from various locations. Fortunately for me, my work just upgraded our entire computer infrastructure and I now have a 400 megabyte email account. I no longer needed the AOL account.
Well, my free trial time was coming to a close so I called to cancel. I had not used the service AT ALL during the time that I had it and I did not want to pay anything.
My call was taken by a very polite man named, and I kid you not, Habib. It sounded like Habib was from, or currently in, India.
I explained to Habib that I was a Bring Your Own Access customer and that I wanted to cancel my account before my trial period ended. I told him that I had been a trial customer for about a month now and had not sent or received a single email using my AOL account. I told him that I had no interest in using any other part of AOL, and that I had not even installed the AOL software.
Habib was distressed. He asked if he could extend my free trial period until March of 2004. I would not be billed. He guaranteed it. If I was billed I could call him personally and he would fix it.
I replied that I had not used the service, and that I would not use the service, and was not at all interested. Please cancel my account. We went back and forth for a couple of minutes as Habib detailed EXTENSIVELY the features that AOL offers. After each feature he would say, "Do you think that you might use that?" I would reply, "No, Habib, please just cancel my account."
At this point I was worried that Habib might start crying. He implored me to allow him to extend my free trial until June of 2004. His exact quote was, "As a friend and fellow human being, please allow me to keep your account open until June of 2004. There will be no charge. No charge!"
Ok, now I genuinely started to fear that Habib would keep me on the phone for hours. I also started to wonder if Habib would be beaten severely by his managers if he had to close my account. I am not sure what the labor laws are like in India, but I hope he is still okay.
I said that I really appreciated the offer, but that I was not interested. Habib was not ready to quit yet. He reached deep into his bag of tricks and said dramatically, "There, I have stopped your billing. Use the service and pay when you want to. Use it and if you want to pay, call us back and pay. There will be no charge unless you call back!"
I was now convinced that Habib was a dead man if I cancelled my account. Unfortunately for Habib, I did not want to call back later and fix a billing problem when AOL realized that I had been using their service for 6 years without paying a cent. I said, "Habib, I appreciate what you are trying to do. You have a job and part of that job is to convince me to not cancel my account. I understand that. Habib, please, as a fellow human being, cancel my account."
There was silence for a few moments. Then a few more moments. And finally I could hear Habib typing. When he spoke again, Habib said, "It is done. I have done it. I have cancelled your account." He said it like he had done something unspeakably vile. He said it like you would imagine a murderer confessing to a mass homicide. I almost felt dirty when I hung up.
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