D&D 5E Poll: Is it rude for a sidelined player to leave the session?

[FormerlyHemlock]

Sorry, having read the other thread I needed to put a little levity into your small typo.

Enworld's software apparently silently truncates poll questions at a certain length.

 

[GameOgre]

Rude would be sitting beside the DM sticking a wet finger in his ear and saying singing"Bored Players do the wildest things, The wildest things! The craziest things! Bored Players do the Darndest things you ever did see! Don't leave them alone in your kitchen! Don't shut them behind a door! Bored players do the nuttiest things! don't leave them to be bored No More!"

Players are like small children! Do NOT ever let them get bored and lose in your house!

Give the player something fun to do.

Let him be a npc,let him be a monster! Hell give the player the books and tell him to DM before you just make him sit there bored.

 

[Henry]

In most circumstances, I consider it rude; however, if extended means "three hours or more" (in other words, rest of the session) then it would be unreasonable to expect that. If you died in a heated combat with an hour left until end of session, I at least consider it a sign you have no interest in the game group beyond your own personal fun.

 

[Shasarak]

Of course it would not be rude. Out of all the rude things you could do at the DnD table leaving it is so far down the rude list that it is not even there.

 

[Fractal Rabbit]

I'd go so far as to say that it is extremely rude to expect a sidelined character to stay at the table. Their time doesn't belong to the group. If they aren't involved in the game, why should they hang around and...not be allowed to participate in the group activity they came for?

If it's a short thing, sure, they should stick around, but if it's going to be the rest of the session, or multiple hours, anyway, yeah...they should only stick around if doing so isn't boring for them.

I can't give this response enough XP. Asking a player whose PC has been killed off to sit around for what may be hours and observe is far more rude than leaving because they have nothing else to do in the game.

Not to derail things, but it's part of the DM's job to engage the players. Even when a PC has been killed off. Others have said to let them play monsters and NPCs. I'm cool with that. But I also give the option of immediately rolling up a new PC. And I'll shoehorn them in as soon as they're done, regardless of where the party currently is/was when death happened. Scenarios I have used to introduce fresh characters:

1) The old "Prisoner in a Dungeon Cell" trick.

2) The old "Enemy Turncoat" Trick. This one is great for role playing, by the way. Instant Drama Injection!

3) The old "Stranger Drops Through A Portal" trick.

4) The old "Adventurer Jr./the 3rd/the 4th, etc" trick

This is TTRPG and the goal is fun for everyone. And like it or not, the DMs Great Power comes with Great Responsibility; make it easier for everyone to enjoy the game.

 

[doctorbadwolf]

I can't give this response enough XP. Asking a player whose PC has been killed off to sit around for what may be hours and observe is far more rude than leaving because they have nothing else to do in the game.

Not to derail things, but it's part of the DM's job to engage the players. Even when a PC has been killed off. Others have said to let them play monsters and NPCs. I'm cool with that. But I also give the option of immediately rolling up a new PC. And I'll shoehorn them in as soon as they're done, regardless of where the party currently is/was when death happened. Scenarios I have used to introduce fresh characters:

1) The old "Prisoner in a Dungeon Cell" trick.

2) The old "Enemy Turncoat" Trick. This one is great for role playing, by the way. Instant Drama Injection!

3) The old "Stranger Drops Through A Portal" trick.

4) The old "Adventurer Jr./the 3rd/the 4th, etc" trick

This is TTRPG and the goal is fun for everyone. And like it or not, the DMs Great Power comes with Great Responsibility; make it easier for everyone to enjoy the game.

Other methods:

The new character is in the same area, with the same goal, and the party comes upon them barely holding their own against mutual enemies.

As above, but they've lost most of their party, rather than being alone. Instant plot book of "get the other npcs out alive".

The party finds a statue, and it has something valuable on it, but they can't get it unless they figure out how to undo the enchantment turning the person to stone. Or, the statue is in the way somehow. Either way, the room holds the key to undoing he enchantment, if they can solve the puzzle. Keep it simple to reduce the time before the player can get back in. Also, you probably have little time to prep for it.

 

[Ilbranteloth]

I'd go so far as to say that it is extremely rude to expect a sidelined character to stay at the table. Their time doesn't belong to the group. If they aren't involved in the game, why should they hang around and...not be allowed to participate in the group activity they came for?

If it's a short thing, sure, they should stick around, but if it's going to be the rest of the session, or multiple hours, anyway, yeah...they should only stick around if doing so isn't boring for them.

I answered depends, and your post as good as any can explain why -

It's all about expectations. See, I've had players sidelined in my games, although I try not to do so. When the party splits up, generally I go back and forth between the two. But sometimes something happens, and there isn't a good solution to bring them back in.

The perfect example happened with my last group. One of the characters was petrified as the result of the use of a wand of wonder by another character. We hadn't used flesh to stone in the campaign, so she looked it up. And found that it was temporary. They hated that idea. To them, as players, that's something that's permanent unless some way to reverse it is found.

So the player insisted on being sidelined. More importantly, none of them felt that the current scenario would plausibly allow the introduction of another PC. So, long term sidelining.

But, the fact is, the campaign, like all of mine, is one where the players have a lot of investment in the group and the story. Just because they aren't able to act, doesn't mean that there isn't something interesting going on. They also find ways to be helpful, such as going through their notes and handouts to find things when the party needs to recall something, looking up spells and such during combat, whatever. Of course, they can still have a beer and enjoy the game even if they aren't actively participating.

And that's ultimately the answer. It all depends on the expectations of the players and the DM. And it's only a problem if those expectations don't match.

If you're expecting me to make sure you always have a character to play, or that there will be a way to resurrect you, or that I won't let you get killed, and you run off and do stupid things and get yourself killed...well, if you don't understand how we play you might not be so happy.

On the other hand, if you're that type of person and run around and do stupid stuff and don't treat the game with the same seriousness as we do, and are being a pain because "I won't give you something to do" - then we probably would consider it less rude for you to leave.

If it's a public campaign at a local gaming store, then my approach will differ. But that's clear right from the beginning, we will look for an appropriate way to bring in a new character, with very little concern for story continuity.

The important thing to understand is that not having an active character doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't allowed to participate in the group activity they came for. The activity involves the group of people around the table experiencing (and usually contributing) to the story. Their contribution might very well be what is needed to turn failure to a success, even if it's going to take some time to get there. Your last line alludes to that, but I've known a lot of players who don't find it boring. Their goals are different, and the integrity of the story is part of what they feel is very important, and they'll make "sacrifices" to that end at times. It's usually not for a long, long time, but if that's what it takes, they'll do that. Even if they were in a bad spot at the end of one session, they'll come for the next to see where it goes.

 

[MNblockhead]

This just came up at my last game. Actually surprised that it is the first time is was an issue in a campaign that has been running over 2 years. I try hard as a GM to avoid a situation where a player has nothing to do and has to make a choice of staying as an observer or leaving. My game sessions are eight hours long and some folks drive quite a ways to come. I would feel awful to have them in a position where there character is dead in the first few hours and I can't work in an NPC or new character for them to play.

So I work very hard to ensure that there are ready characters they can take on, especially in the lower levels.

In my last session, however, just before the party meets the final boss battle, the rogue makes some very bad rolls and gets a door open for the rest of the party but fails to disarm the trap and then is the only one in the party that fails the saving throw and he ends up in a powerful magical state of suspended animation and no one in the party had spells necessary to get him out of it. The party also chose to continue with their exploration of the chamber and triggered the boss fight.

So he had to spend the last hour as an observer.

He was okay with it. Basically played on his phone while listening to the game. But I wonder if I should have changed the challenge. Let him succeed but with a number level of exhaustion or something else that would have weakened him but not taken him out of the game.

If he would have left politely, I would have understood, but I'm glad he stayed. Again, this was "only" for an hour and modern smart phones make passing an hour's time easy enough. But I hate it when someone is knocked out of the game.

 

[MNblockhead]

duplicate post

 

[Li Shenron]

Assume that a player has been sidelined with nothing to do for an extended period. (His PC is out of commission, or the party is split, and the DM isn't involving the player in some other way.)

If the player excuses himself from the game session to e.g. go watch a movie with his girlfriend, is that player being rude?

If you pick "Depends," please explain your vote in a comment.

It has happened countless of times to us while playing boardgames such as Risk, if you get eliminated there is no reason to stay there and watch the others have fun without you (particularly because our games of Risk always lasted hours and hours).

But it has never happened in D&D, it's not so easy to die, and when it happens there is always a plan to bring the character back OR they can create another character to join the party back. Alternatively the DM can give the player something else to do, such as running some monsters or NPC. And finally, because D&D is a team sport, usually even a sidelined player is interested in seeing how the rest of the team finish the adventure.