Ry's guide to being an Evil Overlord

[SiderisAnon]

My legions of doom (Or ERF, if you prefer) will have a strict anti-drug policy. I will extend this policy to my visible secret police, and make it well known that they won't take drugs, even while undercover. My chemists will secretly develop an incredibly cheap and very addictive drug, and accidentally leak the information on how to make it out of fairly common household materials.

Addendum: Said leaked drug will have a chemical compound which can nullify it, much like narcan (sp?) does now for many regular drugs. All of my undercover agents will have a supply of this counter-drug, including subdermal injectors. This will allow them to take the drug any time they need to prove their innocence of being spies, yet always remain clean.

Addendum: All of my soldiers, agents, spies, and general government workers will be regularly and randomly tested for drugs to ensure they are not hooked. Those in sensitive positions will be tested daily.

 

[SiderisAnon]

Evil Overlord Rule #???

"I will provide mistresses to all of my senior people who desire one. This way, if there is pillow talk going on, I will be the one to benefit from this instead of my enemy."


Does anyone know what the male version of a mistress is called? We want to be equal opportunity here.

 

[howandwhy99]

Our ERF run propaganda service will...
I mean, our news agency with anchor show "Bob Bobertson tells it like it is" will assure viewers they know what it is and are giving them it exactly as it is it.

 

[drothgery]

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

R84. (add) ... and although my Legions of Terror will have openings for those with alternative lifestyles, prison guard will not be one of them.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

I think this one just has to be dropped; cheap recordable media (CDs, DVDs, memory cards) holds too much now.

 

[Dice4Hire]

The engineers of such a compound will be put to death to keep would-be assailants from gaining insider information into how my compound was constructed.

Better to feed them to something that will utterly destroy their souls.

 

[Tarek]

99. "...any file of critical importance will be encrypted, padded with other information, and use biometric access. The biometric scanner shall require my retinal patterns and four different fingerprints, and be hooked up to a specific computer."

 

[Yalius]

83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him. Oh, the heck with it. My guards will burst in after the appetizer and gun him down in a hail of bullets while I am calmly waiting in the kitchen.

 

[(Psi)SeveredHead]

Does anyone know what the male version of a mistress is called? We want to be equal opportunity here.

Jig, gigolo or (for anyone who saw Deuce Bigelow)

Spoiler

"man-wh*re".

 

[Intrope]

Decent advice, but we're getting ahead of ourselves here.

R2. My compound will be commissioned new, and built on previously untouched land. It will not be built from the ruins of the ancient city of my evil forebears, atop the ruins of the fortress of my defeated enemy, or over the twisting city that was my greatest conquest.

Corollary: if it sinks into the swamp (falling over, burning optional) I will find a new location to build (after killing the real estate agent, of course).

 

[dmccoy1693]

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

If I ever talk to the hero (on the phone or whatnot), I will not taunt him. Instead, I will offer him a job as my ethics advisor. I will take his advise at first, letting him think that he is having a genuine impact upon me. But all the while I will be secretly undermining his efforts. I shall make sure he feels the full weight of the lives hurt because of his, "poor advise." I will then instruct him in the ways of running a true evil empire. If it takes, I will make sure to get his hands dirty so that he will be to ashamed to rise up agaist me. If it does not, then I will put infront of him numberous temptations. When he succumbs to one of them, I will have him publicly tried and executed.

How obvious is it that I was an evil GM back when I ran games?