So, the DM Wants His Girlfriend to Play....

[delericho]

So, what advice would you offer me that can help make this a good experience for everyone in my group and help me to avoid common mistakes that others in my situation have made?

Treat her the same as everyone else. Be very strict with yourself over this - no 'hints', no side-quests, no additional magic items, no NPCs tailored to work with that PC, and so on and so forth. I recommend also considering making all rolls out in the open henceforth, to demonstrate your impartiality.

I recommend explaining to your girlfriend that this is the way it's got to be - if you aren't impartial then the game will likely implode, so she has to understand that while you're at the table she's a player, just the same as Bob over there.

Truth be told, though, the major danger with the GF-as-PC thing is where it all goes wrong. If the other players object, or you find your enforced impartiality is taking a toll on your relationship, the only real thing you will be able to do to recover the situation is to step aside as DM - removing the GF from the group isn't going to be an option (unless it's her idea).

 

[Quartz]

Actually it stuck in more ways then one... I married her (8 years ago tomorrow!)

http://www.anniversaryideas.co.uk/8th-wedding-anniversary.htm

 

[Flynn]

I think the best advice is the stuff you already got here: be fair and impartial, and treat her like one of the other players. If you have to, explain it to her, and that should be good.

My policy is very similar to yours. I have an interview process that includes, at the end of it, a trial session, after which I poll the players offline. If only one person (either myself, one of my players, or my wife, since we game at my house) has a problem with a player, I don't let the new player in the game. This essentially minimizes the possibility of personality conflicts, because usually you know immediately if you are going to have problems with someone or not.

If my wife wanted to play, I'm sure my gamers would understand if I bypassed that policy, but my relationship is strong enough with her that I wouldn't have to do so, and honestly, I personally would prefer to use the policy, just to maintain the integrity of that system in their eyes. (Indeed, she has played in one of my campaigns for about four to five months, before deciding she wanted the personal time that my campaign time afforded her.)

I wish you luck in this venture, and I'm sure you're going to do just fine.

Enjoy,
Flynn

 

[Silver Moon]

I began my gaming group in college and dated a girl in the group during our first year of gaming - it didn't have any outcome on the game. As stated before, as long as you are fair and impartial it will be fine - she has to fully understand that too. My group has now been playing continuously for 25 years now and that girl and I have been married for the last 18 of them. She is the DM of our current module.

 

[Deuce Traveler]

Make sure you reward her for her activities off the field of play with vorpal weapons.

Just kidding.

 

[Oryan77]

Put her in a short skirt and ask her to cook food for the guys...I guarantee they won't have a problem with her being in the group

 

[Felnar]

...the only real thing you will be able to do to recover the situation is to step aside as DM - removing the GF from the group isn't going to be an option (unless it's her idea).

it could be a trap!

 

[Olaf the Stout]

Put her in a short skirt and ask her to cook food for the guys...I guarantee they won't have a problem with her being in the group

Still married Oryan? (joke)

Olaf the Stout

 

[Oryan77]

Still married Oryan? (joke)

Olaf the Stout

Well, my wife is a player in our group and she loves to cook for everyone. She also looks great in a skirt. I was just thinking that's probably why no one has told me to kick her out J/K

 

[Moggthegob]

Well, my wife is a player in our group and she loves to cook for everyone. She also looks great in a skirt. I was just thinking that's probably why no one has told me to kick her out J/K

Oh of course, the whole works by association trick....

To be honest, My girlfriend has been playing with us for awhile and there havent really been any problems. But we were all good friends first so that may be why. Actually one guy quit but that was mostly because he blamed her for his ineffective characters(man liked to play 10 con elf monks who mixed it up up front)