Spectator Commentary thread for Ceramic DM (Winter 2005)
I've been trying to get a little more wordy in my critiques..not sure if they really mean anything, but I like to give my opinion 
. But I realized I might want to back it up with some reasons. You know, I like this thread. I get to be participant and judge all at the same time...even if my judgements aren't greatly accurate .
Aaron
. But I realized I might want to back it up with some reasons. You know, I like this thread. I get to be participant and judge all at the same time...even if my judgements aren't greatly accurate .Aaron
mythago
Hero
As a judge, I found it a lot harder to judge not-so-good stories. It's really easy to criticise somebody's writing when you know you can then say "But here's all the good stuff!" Yeah, it's hard to pick between two fantabulous stories, but honestly the picking is the easiest part. Critiquing is hard.
Okay, I admit it, Eeralai and I bribed the judges, but it was supposed to be an extra 1000 minutes, not 1000 words!
Okay, I admit it, Eeralai and I bribed the judges, but it was supposed to be an extra 1000 minutes, not 1000 words!
BSF
Explorer
Mythago,
That's interesting. Boy, I hope I gave you some easy stories to critique then.
A little more seriously, I can see your perspective on the critique. Being able to quickly point out strengths and weaknesses and where specific improvement can be focused is a good thing.
Turning around and picking stories still seems hard to me. But that is why I point out in the FAQ thread that it still comes down to a judges opinion. There is nothing wrong with saying "I liked story X better than story Y."
That's interesting. Boy, I hope I gave you some easy stories to critique then.
A little more seriously, I can see your perspective on the critique. Being able to quickly point out strengths and weaknesses and where specific improvement can be focused is a good thing.
Turning around and picking stories still seems hard to me. But that is why I point out in the FAQ thread that it still comes down to a judges opinion. There is nothing wrong with saying "I liked story X better than story Y."
Dammit and I went with story y
In case you haven't seen my growing critiques on page 1 (I've been keeping it to one edited post per round), I am trying to be more specific in my thoughts about the stories. And so far in round 2 I am 0-2 with the judges. I think people are going to start wanting me to dislike their stories.
Aaron
In case you haven't seen my growing critiques on page 1 (I've been keeping it to one edited post per round), I am trying to be more specific in my thoughts about the stories. And so far in round 2 I am 0-2 with the judges. I think people are going to start wanting me to dislike their stories
.Aaron
Thorod Ashstaff
First Post
Comments: r2, Mythago vs Eeralai
Two really good stories, so I thought I'd comment, though it feels a little weird to be commenting on work by authors I may still be facing. (If anyone objects, let me know.)
THE OTHER SIDE is very interesting, and the musical element adds a welcome layer of complexity (sometimes complexity is good) to what could have been a typical suicide/angst story. I really like the perceptive look into the mind of someone who suffers from a kind of depression, coupled with the spirits of death. The way what she sees is so real, even though it is never explained as either real or imaginary, sounds a lot like the way the mind works. It was very rushed at the end, and I thought the main character comes back to her core joy of music awfully quickly, but then again 'rushed at the end' could apply to every entry so far, mine included, part of the 72 hour thing.
MYTHAGO's story has some wonderful images, and the idea of mental asylum/prison/recruitment center where each person has some unique talent is very cool. It would make an excellent graphic novel or comic book arc. The island reminded me a bit of the island in The Prisoner, which was good. I liked the main character's 'I Hear Dead People, Deal With It' attitude, and I liked the foreshadowing of the tsunami. The ending felt unsatisfying, though, sort of a "and then everybody died..." thing, again, could be the 72 hours.
Good stuff, good picture use from both, but I think I would disagree with the judges and give a slight edge to Eeralai, though of course I know Eeralai in the bricks 'n mortar universe, so feel free to consider me prejudiced.
Two really good stories, so I thought I'd comment, though it feels a little weird to be commenting on work by authors I may still be facing. (If anyone objects, let me know.)
THE OTHER SIDE is very interesting, and the musical element adds a welcome layer of complexity (sometimes complexity is good) to what could have been a typical suicide/angst story. I really like the perceptive look into the mind of someone who suffers from a kind of depression, coupled with the spirits of death. The way what she sees is so real, even though it is never explained as either real or imaginary, sounds a lot like the way the mind works. It was very rushed at the end, and I thought the main character comes back to her core joy of music awfully quickly, but then again 'rushed at the end' could apply to every entry so far, mine included, part of the 72 hour thing.
MYTHAGO's story has some wonderful images, and the idea of mental asylum/prison/recruitment center where each person has some unique talent is very cool. It would make an excellent graphic novel or comic book arc. The island reminded me a bit of the island in The Prisoner, which was good. I liked the main character's 'I Hear Dead People, Deal With It' attitude, and I liked the foreshadowing of the tsunami. The ending felt unsatisfying, though, sort of a "and then everybody died..." thing, again, could be the 72 hours.
Good stuff, good picture use from both, but I think I would disagree with the judges and give a slight edge to Eeralai, though of course I know Eeralai in the bricks 'n mortar universe, so feel free to consider me prejudiced.
orchid blossom
Explorer
Ok, it's posted. I just have to say, I did not have even an idea until about 4:00 this afternoon. Those pics, I just could not put a coherent thread though. I laughed hard when I saw them, and should have stuck with that reaction and not tried to come up with anything serious. I went silly in the end, but wasted most of today trying to work a more serious story out of them.
I have no expectation of winning with the story I just posted, but I hope it gives people a little giggle.
I have no expectation of winning with the story I just posted, but I hope it gives people a little giggle.
Ao the Overkitty
First Post
This from the woman who was talking about getting drunk to write her story today.
I swear I think Clay broke her.
I swear I think Clay broke her.
Thanks for the comments Thorod. I definitely agree about the rushed ending. And BSF had some good points about locality and getting around the music. When I finished the story I thought I would never touch it again, but I am strangely fascinated with it. I'll probably give it a makeover at some point, but now it's a relief to go back to the stories going on inside my head. The Ceramic DM was great to get me back to writing.
It is interesting to me that Mythago and I both had forms of insanity in our stories and you and Mauraderx had similarities with Thailand and all. I swear we are some sort of experiment Clay has going on
It is interesting to me that Mythago and I both had forms of insanity in our stories and you and Mauraderx had similarities with Thailand and all. I swear we are some sort of experiment Clay has going on
