Thorod Ashstaff said:
I'm beginning to believe you may be right. Carl Jung would love this contest, out of eight quarter-finalists, two had stories completely set in Thailand and two had stories that ended in Thailand. Even Merrick would say that was too much coincidence!
I thought that Thorod and I had either recognized or researched the currency that was in the one picture. From there it was too hard to ignore the people in the snake fight pic. I had contacted a friend that is in Phuket to see what landmarks would be good to mention in my story, but didn't hear back from her until near the deadline. It was all of tehn minutes of internet research for me, and I think it showed so I tried not to stress the details as solidly as Thorod did.
Thorod's next story was agreeably little short on the ending, but I still like it. The mention of the electric guitar was odd at first, but understandable that it helps to relate to the present. I loved the inclusion of the fey-folk and their various methods to achieve their ends. The tenses are consistent all the way through, good job!
There was this:
He hid in the baggage car of a human train, though it was forbidden for fey to ride in a steal machine.
steal=steel. Also in this paragraph I found it odd that Dimble would have used a human train to speed his journey... it's as if he is giving in to the effiency and speed of modern human tools, an indirect afront to the cause he started. Overall, great work again.
Mythago, your story was short to me. I think it's somewhere around 3000 words and though it's not necessary to use more than necessary, more would have helped 'flesh' out the ending for me. A little more description for
I thought the beginning paragraph could have set the mood a little more, as by the first six paragraphs I still felt a little uneasy as to what was going on. It happens in the next section, but I get the sense if you switched them around it would be a better read. Still, I like the second section, as it opened me up to your story much more and the well-done dialogue got me interested in the characters.
A side note: Ito Satoshi is a Japanese name, and Tong Lee is not. The likelyhood of a Japanese man being in the west was slim, as much of Japan was closed to trade during this time period. Was Ito important? Add more explanation to him?
Interesting ending, but the romantic in me is wont to have been given the claim by him instead of picking his pocket. Nice job, I love the story idea.
The story had a nice feel of a rough (in my head) 'western' setting. The plot is old and had me wondering how Red would get punished for the blasphemy, but then she gets away with it. I like it, even though why Jhonny just disappears is a bit unclear.
