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Stupidest things PCs/DMs have done

KrazyHades

First Post
How about FORGETTING to prepare dispel magic, and then having the party's only rogue stuck in a Temporal Stasis trap before deciding to camp out for eight hours so they can prepare it!? THAT was fun. And this is right after seeing a rabbit from the Bag of Trapfinders (grey bag of tricks :lol: ) get stuck in it.
 

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Bob5th

First Post
Most of my stupid player moments involve the same player, let's call him Paul.

First up our group was playing in a Top Secret game and Paul decides to set up a appointment with a call girl escort service type of thing. Paul had hoped that the person we were trying to get to had used this service so I thing he was hoping to get some information from the girl as well as have his "fun".

Well to pass the time until his date he decides to go sea fishing. After bugging the GM some he finally hooked a blue marlin and spent quite a while trying to reel it in. Paul then started to worry that he was going to miss his date because of the fish so instead of cutting the line he pulls out his gun and shoots the blue marlin.

Of course this really freaks out the captain of the boat who then radios this back to the mainland. Authorities are waiting to pick him up when they dock and he misses his date.
 

Lalalei2001

Explorer
Ballstic used an alien "Power Magnifier" to increase his powers -- high body density and supersonic running speed -- but got too greedy and left the Magnifier on too long. He took off after the Villain of the Week, smashed through every building and vehicle in his path, skimmed across the Pacific Ocean, and straight up the side of Mount Fuji. It worked like a ramp, launching him into outer space. He died from the vacuum, and his body impacted with a star 10,000 years later.

It's not speed that kills; it's the lack of brakes.

;)
 



ha-gieden

First Post
Ok, here's one:

The PC's are standing in a field of waist high dead grass. A harsh, evil wind blows. In the distance, an army marches past.

Or would have.

One PC says, "I cast flaming sphere."
The DM, taking pity, says, "Well, it rained not *too* long ago (pushing the boundaries of realism, there), so the grass doesn't catch fire *yet*.
"Good," says the PC. "I cast another one."


Here's another:

Slydder, a stealthy type who's claim to fame is the ability to turn into a small, blind mole, is very angry at "D", a knight wannabe who owns one old horse, one suit of plate (painted black to hide the signs of wear), and one set of horse barding. These are both PC's.

They are hired as underlings by someone way more powerful than themselves, and at one point are instructed to "wait outside" while the NPC checks out a fortress. The PC's don't. Instead, the knight comes in *on his horse* *wearing full plate*. The ninja wannabe sneaks on ahead. When the big baddies show up, they see the knight (who's incredibly obvious), but not Slydder, though Slydder is closer. The knight, worried about what's about to happen and thinking Slydder won't come out of hiding to help, outs Slydder himself by pointing to his hiding place and saying, "Why don't you come out and fight like a man?"

Amazingly, they survive.

So later, Slydder tries to poison the knight. Unfortunately, he messes up. Now 2 PC's and a horse are poisoned. The two PC's, blinded, nearly dead, deep in the desert, crawl around taking wild swings in the air trying to hit one another. This goes on until they are too tired to move. They rest, but now the knight is having to make some serious CON checks; he's wearing black armor in the desert.

He refuses to take off the armor. In fact, he goes to remove the barding from his dead horse, and then tries to DRAG IT back to the nearest city. After a series of amazing CON checks, he finally dies due to heat, damage, poison, and exaustion within a few hundred feet of the city walls.

Meanwhile, Slydder gets to that city, and offers the poor barkeep FIVE PLATINUM to "keep guard" at his door while he goes to sleep. He does this in front of a bunch of poor, unruly looking townspeople. It did not end well.


AND FINALLY: (Almost) Total Party Kill in under 15 minutes

The PC's start out in and around a xenophobic city that tolerates nothing but humans. It is huge, well guarded, and has a fighting arena where dwarves, elves, and the like fight to the death for the citizens' amusement.

Two PC's (we'll call them "A" and "B") are dwarves. They are together and well armed, and they are simply passing by the city. They see the huge warning, in Dwarven, that Dwarves seen near the city walls will be executed. They see the guards. What do they do? They attack.

One is killed on the spot, the other is taken to fight in the arena. However, he acts up so much that the guards deem him too dangerous to work with, and so he ends up in an exposure cage. Two PC's down in under 5 minutes.

One PC (let's call him "C") starts out in the arena. He is strong enough to lift the heavy gate that his captors have just pushed him through, and has secretly made escape plans with several NPC's who are currently pretending to fight eachother in the arena.

PC "D" starts the game by being pushed into the arena just as PC "C" and the NPC's make a break for it. PC "D" lifts the gate, and the NPC's begin fleeing...but PC "C" says, "I was put in here to fight, right?"

DM nods.

PC "C" says, "I attack that guy holding the gate...his hands are full, so he can't fight back!"

The DM had been intending to be merciful; had those two escaped, they would have passed right by PC "B's" exposure cage and been able to rescue him. But alas, it was not to be.

There were 3 more PC's, played by a group of experienced players had been playing these characters for a while. Seeing how dumb the other PC's were being, they decided to abandon the campaign entirely, and simply teleported out.

Campaign over. 3 dead, 3 survivors, under 15 minutes.
 

DonTadow

First Post
Whew, now that the campaign is over with I think one of my "problem" players was saving the best for last. We'll call her player 1.

This is a two parter.

In the second to last adventure before the final game session, got no inexplicable reason, Player 1 openly murders a priest of the party's cleric's (player 2) dietiy in front of her in her temple, for no reason other than "she was getting on my characters nerves". A stupid thing in the fact that if I played this harsh, she would have been executed right there. But, I let this play out.

Player 1 character escapes.

Here's were things get wierd.

The rest of the party are attacked by an ancient blue dragon whom has a vendetta against two of the pcs. In the mean time, the player 1 is passes me a note and tells me she's hiding in the forest and drawing arcane ruins on the ground. She didn't explain why, and I didnt ask as I didnt want to take my focus off of the exciting rooftop dragon fight. In any case she spent the next 10 rounds making this arcane mark.

After the fight with the dragon, player 2, whom polymorphed into a dragon, went to look for her fugitive while she was in her strongest form. She easily finds her and her torch in the otherwise dark forest. The party 2 swoops down to get vengence on player 1 for killing a member of her church. At that point I let combat just happene. Thats when player 1 explained what she was doing. She was writing giant arcane ruins on the ground so that for some reason if the other dragon for some reason went looking for her (which he wouldlnt becuase he didnt know she existed), he would read the arcane writing somehow beyond the canopy of the trees and take... 3d6 damage. Thats right, 10 rounds of planning for 3d6 damage, and this from someone whom could probably deal 50 to 60 damage a turn. Anyway, player 2 swoops down, takes the 3d6 damage and slaughters player 1. First time I've allowed player vs player combat and i was glad of the results.
 

Doghead Thirteen

First Post
Imagine the scene. A concrete hallway about 50 feet long. Hard cover at one end, a pillbox equipped with a pair of .50 M2 Browning heavy machine guns at the other. The PC's are hunkered down behind the cover, having seen a cannon fodder NPC torn to shreds by the crossfire. The GM later stated he'd fully expected us to back off and try to find another way into the complex; this was the front door.

That's when one of the players decides to attempt to get over to the far end of the hallway and press up against the wall between the two machine gun ports.

His exact words?

'I walk over to the machine guns as quickly as possible'

Note the word 'Walk'.

So essentially he stood up and started briskly sauntering straight into a hail of half-inch brass-jacketed lead slugs travelling at supersonic speed...
 

Lalalei2001

Explorer
GM: "The guards' bullets are riddling the van."
PC: "The briefcase! It's full of plastic explosives! I set the timer, throw it out the window and tell Dave to floor it."
GM: "How long do you set the timer for?"
PC: "Uhh, three seconds."

*BOOM*
 


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