I can't help but notice that you've never actually made any effort to defend the to defend the way 5e empowers problem elements but have been very enthusiastic in dismissing criticism of it. Is there nothing worgty of defense?
The thing is you are taking things to extremes. For example, in the most recent ad video from DnD by JoCat, he sings about how part of the way to get your players excited is to
"Make some characters that uniquely
Fit their fantasy or dumb memes
Or something completely left field but GROOVY!
Tell them it's their chance to star in their own series
Where they can do ANYTHING!
Save the world or be the villain
Use that imagination you can even smooch a King"
Now, from your perspective this is the worst possible thing! Not only is the dungeon master making the characters, but they are being told to bow to the whims of tyrant players who will run roughshod over them and destroy everything they have worked for!!!!
But... if you WATCH the video, that isn't the vibe you get.
Sure, the DM has the character sheets, but the framing of the "star in their own series" is the DM standing there, explaining the idea, framing the players AS A WHOLE, the entire party. Each of them has a unique role, each of them has a unique line and image in the song, Save the world! Be the Villain! Kiss a King! because that is how ensemble casts WORK.
The messaging in the books and such isn't "YOU! Yes, you are a god! You are the most important person at this table and all shall cater to your whims!", and if someone takes it that way, they are missing the entire message. It is "You (singular), you can be in your (plural) own series. You and your friends can be the stars of your own story, where instead of simply watching or simply reading, you are making the decisions."
Yes, the message does tell the player that their opinion, what they want to do, matters. Because if the players aren't engaged and interested? There is no game. If someone came to me and said "Hey, we are going to play DnD where we are all cannibal ghouls serial killing our way through towns as the monsters!" I wouldn't be interested. I wouldn't want to play that game. Not because I am a diva, but because my opinion matters too. We all need to work together, to craft the story. And DnD 5e is VERY clear about that.