Team Baldy's Tales From The OBO-ESRD Tavern! (Calling Hypersmurf)

[Agrajag]

Originally posted by LAZLOW:
From out of nowhere, it seems, a rugged Dwarf with a mass of rust-colored hair flecked with streaks and specks of grey bustles over to the new Dwarf in town.

"Ach weel, m'lad, 'tis good te see a fellow brather o' th' stoon, aye," he says in the most ridiculous 'Dwarven' accent you've ever heard in your life. He leans in close with a conspiratorial air and lays one finger aside his nose with a wink. "Hoo aboot a wee bitty on th' hoose, eh? Ah, aye, aye."

He turns and looks around for Muirna, sees her behind the bar, then calls out, a bit loudly, "Mooidna, me dar, a point o' th' bayst f'r oor gayst, heed." He makes a grandiose gesture towards his new Dwarven friend and smiles a broad, friendly smile.

Muirna rolls her eyes a bit and sets about getting a pint.

I look back across the table to the Dwarf and give an appreciative nod for the drink then i reply "Do you know about the" I stop and hesitantly look all around me and finish my sentence with a grim, and shallow voice "the animals"

 

[Hypersmurf]

Muirna brings two ales down to your end of the bar. "Here you go," she says sweetly, setting one frothy mug down in front of Hamm. "You let me know if I can get anything else for you, hmmm?" She gives the handsome man a wink. She doesn't seem to notice (or mind) that she's still holding Karjanga's drink...

Hamm flicks his eyes exaggeratedly from his wineglass, to Karjanga, to his new mug of ale, and finally to Muirna.

"Ah, for four hands," he sighs mournfully, "and four mouths to match them! I am adrift in a sea of temptation!"

"Alas, Muirna, my love," he continues, "it seems your inn is full of dangerous sorts tonight, and I fear what they might do to me if I should monopolise your time! But I shall certainly call on you again..."

He returns her wink, both hands on the table in plain view.

DM:
[sblock]A playful prestidigitative pinch, if you please, timed with the wink.[/sblock]

*Karjanga laughs, and sweeps her drink out of Muirna's hand.*

"I would think you should hate your parents for naming you after a pig!"

OOC: "'Maverick'? ... did your mother not like you, or something?" /OOC

"It is said that to be a great man, one must overcome a great handicap," Hamm replies. "And a name can be a very great handicap indeed... so I can only thank them, for providing me the first step on the path to greatness."

"Now, let's see what music you make, for it surely must be a pretty as you," Karjanga says with a laugh.

"Be careful with your flattery, my dear," Hamm warns with a grin. "Who knows where it may get you? But are you certain you wish me to play? It is said that music hath charms to soothe the savage breast... and while you possess a most spectacularly savage breast, I must confess, to soothe it is far from the first thought to spring to my mind..."

 

[Isida Kep'Tukari]

"Be careful with your flattery, my dear," Hamm warns with a grin. "Who knows where it may get you? But are you certain you wish me to play? It is said that music hath charms to soothe the savage breast... and while you possess a most spectacularly savage breast, I must confess, to soothe it is far from the first thought to spring to my mind..."

*Karjanga ignores his flirtation with the barmaid, and takes a drink of her ale, savoring the coolness. When Hamm makes his remark about not wanting to soothe her, she gives a fierce grin that shows sharp teeth.*

"Then don't soothe, my fine swine, but play something to stir the blood," she says, lowering her head so her eyes are hooded.

 

[Lazlow]

*Karjanga laughs, and sweeps her drink out of Muirna's hand.*

Muirna gives Karjanga a half-second sidelong glare, but quickly returns her eyes to the handsome bard. She picks up a mug and absently rubs it with a cloth.

 

[Lazlow]

I look back across the table to the Dwarf and give an appreciative nod for the drink then i reply "Do you know about the" I stop and hesitantly look all around me and finish my sentence with a grim, and shallow voice "the animals"

Sunderkeg smiles but looks a bit puzzled. "Er... Animals?"

 

[Lazlow]

He returns her wink, both hands on the table in plain view.

DM:
[sblock]A playful prestidigitative pinch, if you please, timed with the wink.[/sblock]

Muirna batters her eyelashes at the wink, but suddenly stands bolt upright, turns, and smashes the mug in her hand on the head of the poor patron who had the bad luck to be walking next to her at the end of the bar there. He collapses in a heap, and she storms off to the kitchen in a huff, muttering, "Filthy pig, can't keep his hands to himself..."

 

[Hypersmurf]

Muirna batters her eyelashes at the wink, but suddenly stands bolt upright, turns, and smashes the mug in her hand on the head of the poor patron who had the bad luck to be walking next to her at the end of the bar there. He collapses in a heap, and she storms off to the kitchen in a huff, muttering, "Filthy pig, can't keep his hands to himself..."

Hamm winces at the blow. "Bunch of savages in this town," he comments to Karjanga.

*Karjanga ignores his flirtation with the barmaid, and takes a drink of her ale, savoring the coolness. When Hamm makes his remark about not wanting to soothe her, she gives a fierce grin that shows sharp teeth.*

"Then don't soothe, my fine swine, but play something to stir the blood," she says, lowering her head so her eyes are hooded.

"My, what sharp teeth you have," he murmurs, reaching back into his pocket to produce his harmonica. "Something to stir the blood?" he repeats, raising an eyebrow.

Long, practised fingers cup the instrument to his mouth, and he plays two bars... slow, but familiar to anyone who'd frequent such an establishment as the Dog, and loud enough to cut across the background chatter.

And to remove all doubt as to what he plans to play, he lowers the instrument enough to call the traditional opening lines of the song: "Gather close, lend an ear, listen to a tale... of the meanest man there ever was..." He pauses a moment to allow everyone to call out the name. "Ol' Man-Mountain Krayle!"

Raising the harmonica again, he begins to play the far more rousing main melody, tapping his heel exaggeratedly and encouraging others with his eyes to join in with clapping or tapping of their own.

Once the introduction is over, he launches into the well-worn story, interspersing each short verse with a few bars on the harmonica, regaling the Dog's patrons with the old accounts of how Man-Mountain Krayle wrestled giants, laid out an owlbear with a single punch, ate his way out of a gelatinous cube, and made a huge animated beer mug out of a clay golem. After the third run through the chorus, he stops singing that part himself, instead accompanying the patrons with his harmonica, and saving his voice for the verses...

 

[Lazlow]

Raising the harmonica again, he begins to play the far more rousing main melody, tapping his heel exaggeratedly and encouraging others with his eyes to join in with clapping or tapping of their own.

Once the introduction is over, he launches into the well-worn story, interspersing each short verse with a few bars on the harmonica, regaling the Dog's patrons with the old accounts of how Man-Mountain Krayle wrestled giants, laid out an owlbear with a single punch, ate his way out of a gelatinous cube, and made a huge animated beer mug out of a clay golem. After the third run through the chorus, he stops singing that part himself, instead accompanying the patrons with his harmonica, and saving his voice for the verses...

Sunderkeg beams with joy as Hamm plays his tune, for he knows full well that the patrons, apathetic as they may be, know a good, rousing drinking song when they hear one, and, more importantly, recognize the need for good, rousing drinking. He calls Muirna back out and starts pulling pints, whistling and singing along, and dancing a little jig every now and then along with the chorus. The patrons happily sing along, draining their mugs and ordering more.

 

[Agrajag]

Originally posted by Lazlow:
Sunderkeg smiles but looks a bit puzzled. "Er... Animals?"

I take one more quick look around the vicinity of my area look back with all seriousness staring into Sunderkeg's eyes as if trying to seek out his soul and say "Yes the animals have you heard about the conspiracy..." I wait for him to begin his reply then blurt out "well if you haven't then I might as well tell you" again I wait for the moment to interupt his reply then begin "precisely 7 years 3 months 14 days 32 minutes and 10 seconds from...now I was on my first expedition out of my village to 'become one' with nature, that's what my tribe told me anyway now that I think about it they seemed quick to send me out, but anywho as I walked into the forest I saw out of the corner of my eye...a squirrel, you know those 'cute' fuzzy little critters that you just want to hug, well thats what they want you to think, I saw what it was up to, it was plotting to dominate all the men and women of this land I SAW ALL THIS WITH MY OWN EYES! I tried to tell my tribe but they didn't believe me they even kick me out of MY clan, oh by the way if you'd like to know my name, some people call me......Tim. I finish with a smile that looks like it would reach past my ears and fall if it was any wider.

 

[Lazlow]

I take one more quick look around the vicinity of my area look back with all seriousness staring into Sunderkeg's eyes as if trying to seek out his soul and say "Yes the animals have you heard about the conspiracy..." I wait for him to begin his reply then blurt out "well if you haven't then I might as well tell you" again I wait for the moment to interupt his reply then begin "precisely 7 years 3 months 14 days 32 minutes and 10 seconds from...now I was on my first expedition out of my village to 'become one' with nature, that's what my tribe told me anyway now that I think about it they seemed quick to send me out, but anywho as I walked into the forest I saw out of the corner of my eye...a squirrel, you know those 'cute' fuzzy little critters that you just want to hug, well thats what they want you to think, I saw what it was up to, it was plotting to dominate all the men and women of this land I SAW ALL THIS WITH MY OWN EYES! I tried to tell my tribe but they didn't believe me they even kick me out of MY clan, oh by the way if you'd like to know my name, some people call me......Tim. I finish with a smile that looks like it would reach past my ears and fall if it was any wider.

Sunderkeg listens to this rambling without breaking his smile, then answers, "Ah. I see. Welllllllll..." He claps his hands, raises his eyebrows... Then turns and heads back to the bar.