The Forges of the Mountain King Chapter 1- Bottom's Up!

[Goonalan]

Mardred

"Kazzagin, my wise friend, have you ever wanted a squire? For the chance to serve one as wise as yourself I would even give up most of my thieving ways and I could be useful to you, I am very good at finding and disarming traps"

(Bluff check, for some of that anyway)

OOC: Ouch the dice are not with me

Mardred, safe in the knowledge that he's not in a Union or Guild, and so therefore exempt from the lottery in the Great Hall, falls to one knee before Kazzagin and pledges his service.

Mardred can barely disguise his deceit throughout his stumbling, awkward offer of loyalty/penance to Kazzagin.

There's no way... absolutely no way that Mardred can be picked for the expedition, no way- none what-so-ever.

OOC: Kazzagin, do you want a Squire, this could get amusing.

Cheers Goonalan

 

[Pinotage]

The crowd were easing off, but there were still a few people looking, most of them at the unfortunately cut-purse that was standing in front of him. He'd heard the call of 'One-Arm's son' and that had certainly made us his mind to dissolve this situation faster than orcish beer on your gut. And yet, he knew that the cut-purse was lying - it was clear that he'd done so on several attempts and he really couldn't be trusted. By the look of things, he was desparate. Kazzagin frowned deeply, the put his arm around Mardred's shoulders and walked with him to one side to find a quieter spot. Hopefully the show of friendship would make the crowd lose interest. He needed to hurry, though, as it appeared that things on the stage were drawing to some conclusion.

"You be thinking you can be a squire," Kazzagin started, "I be thinking that you can't be trusted." Though, truth be told there were signs of some sincerity in his voice. Threat of pain brought out all sorts of truths. "The pouch be needing to be returned," he continued, "After that we be seeing what can be done. You be with me until after the lottery be completed." As an afterthought, "You be squire on probation." He looked at the stage again. Perhaps if he got picked he would need a squire, but otherwise at least he had the cut-purse near him where he could keep his eyes out and resolve the matter of the borrowed or stolen purse. "What be your name?" he asked.

OOC: Kazzagin will accept him for now as a squire.]

 

[Goonalan]

Master Ignatius Earwax hovers near the front of the stage, a number of older dwarves, also at the front, signal for silence.

Eventually a hush settles over the Great Hall.

“Friends, Bottom Workers, fellow Dwarves... And so we the Council have concluded the lottery for places on the glorious expedition to the Lost Halls of the Tannheim. We have checked and re-checked the numbers drawn, furthermore we have consulted with the heads of the various Guilds and Unions that have been selected to participate in this...”

“Ger on wi it!” A young upstart from the Lumpers cries, and receives a fist in the mush for his efforts, “Mmm... sowy.”

“Ahem!” Ignatius tries again, “and so the following Dwarves, heroes one and all, have been selected- may the Lord Moradin watch over them and protect them.”

Silence...

More silence...

Ignatius looks a little flustered.

Eventually the ancient Dwarf looks behind him, “I've not got the paper... you must have...”

There's nobody behind Ignatius.

The audience continues to stare, open-mouthed, waiting, desperately waiting.

“Right then, and so...”

Master Ignatius turns to face the audience again, he seems to be patting down his pockets, rummaging for something, he quickly removes his hand from a pocket, then wipes it down his robe while pulling a face.

Then he realises what he has done. He fishes in the pocket again, brings out a sodden mess- the crowd are watching, waiting. He's suddenly very conscious that the list, such as it is, is now a ball of snotty paper- what's worse a ball of snotty paper in his hand.

He coughs heartily, brings his hand up to his mouth, and pops the paper in.

Then chews.

All the time small fiery explosions of panic are resounding in his brain, Ignatius chews some more, and contemplates life.

The crowd... are rapt.

“Without further... Err...” Master Ignatius stares out in to the crowd, shields his eyes against the glare... he spots a female Dwarf in a Chainmail bikini, he likes the look of her- great big... an idea, slowly, forms in Ignatius' head.

He looks a little to the left of the chainmail bikini wearing Dwarf.

And then smiles- it's a thin smile, but right now it feels like an enormous weight has been lifted.

“Yes, well- first called is Leonard D Apricot, if you'd like to come up on to the stage young Dwarf...”

A smattering of applause, more nervous than warranted.

Ignatius scans the crowd, still with his thin smile.

“Second... is... Cinara Wastewater, yes you my dear- if you'd, that's it... careful on the steps.”

Again half-hearted applause, the majority of the crowd seem to be engaged in some mass whispered act of prayer. Certainly many of the assembled have their eyes closed.

“Third is...” Ignatius stands on tip-toes shields his eyes some more- ducks right and... spots someone else who's name he can remember.

“Third is, Krogan. Krogan Thundergut.”

The old Dwarf chuckles a little to himself, makes a wafting motion before his nose, and grins- impishly.

“Fourth is...” Ignatius is no-longer hiding it, he stalks the stage staring wild-eye in to the crowd- grinning all the while, a myriad Dwarves attempt to shrink behind their companions, or else frantically look elsewhere- a dozen or so take to whistling in order to allay suspicion.

“Fourth is, you there, behind- whassisname, Kassagin, yes that's it- I remember your father...”

Ignatius frantically circles his arm- indicating Kassagin should come and join the other shuffling Dwarves up on the stage.

“And last... who don't I... I mean, the final Dwarf selected to represent the Bottom Workers in our moment of glory is- you there. Yes, you- Wildaxe, I haven't forgot what you said about my beard at last years Stone's Throw Bar-B-Q, it's about time you learned some respect young Dwarf. Thorgrim Wildaxe I'm talking to you- there's no use trying to look away, I can see you. Now get up here- and stop shilly-shallying.”

Ignatius looks incredibly contented, folds his arms- takes a look behind him at the assembled would-be-adventurers, and grins some more.

“And so these brave souls will venture forth on the morrow, to vanquish innumerable foes, to rescue unimagined treasures, to fearlessly go... Nay, boldly go.”

An old Dwarf, a Council member, suddenly starts towards Ignatius, who looks flustered for a moment and then bends to listen, the old Dwarf whispers in Ignatius' ear- and then points toward one of the exits for the Great Hall.

Where Perry Tonne picks his at teeth with a very small ornate dagger.

Ignatius shakes his head.

The old Dwarf whispers some more- then holds up five fingers.

“How much... “ Ignatius whistles.

Then saunters back to his position.

“Sixth chosen is Margaret... What? Sorry about that- Mardred, whoever he is- never heard of him, what guild is he...”

And the rest is lost to the wave of applause, scratch wave, make that tsunami- the relief in the Hall is palpable, a hundred-or-so other Dwarves have suddenly become aware that they have not been chosen- they'll go back to the stink, and the stone, and their dull shallow lives- and they are over-joyed.

Mardred, in a daze, shuffles towards the stage- Dwarves press in on him patting his back, shaking his hand and mouthing words of encouragement, he's never... never, been this popular, or indeed popular at all before.

Mardred's black heart skips a beat, and the bastard thief finds himself smiling back.

“Speech!”

The shouts and hollers become frantic, and yet the applause rolls on- wave after wave...

Ignatius looks back at the six heroes-to-be, smiles at each in turn, and then indicates that the floor is theirs, that they must each say a few words...

“Remember”, Ignatius shouts across, “these could be your last words, we may never see you again- make them something to remember you by.”

OOC: Each Dwarf selected for the mission is expected to come on stage, in any order after the names are drawn, and make a little speech- think of this as a Miss World competition, your speech should contain the following- 1) Your name, 2) the guild or union you represent (if you're not in a Guild or Union- Marded (perhaps) then you need to make one up), 3) why you think that you have been selected for this mission, 4) what you hope to achieve, 5) and finally, a rousing last line to stir up the Dwarven masses and fill them full of cheer. Obviously you can dress it up a bit- make it sound glorious or funny, or... whatever really. The best speech will receive a free Action Point- voted for by yourselves.

OOC: Pinotage the message about some Attack Font... that's not from me, I don'yt even know what an Attack Font is. I know it says it's from me but... and once more, I don't know what an Attack Font is and I certainly didn't send the message. I built the map in maptools by the way. More, and better, to come.

 

[Walking Dad]

Thorgrim Wildaxe

Thorgrim spews out his beer strong enough to even sprinkle Trevor Ginkle, who stands more than a few feet away. Grinning sheepishly, he makes his way up to Ignatius and the other 'chosen'.

"Dan't knaw what to say. Maybe som' of yah knaw meh. I'm Thorgrim Wildaxe, nephew of Urtrag Wildaxe...
I'm with the royal ratcatchers and I could tell yah som' stories... like the one time we thought we were huntin' the biggest meanes dire rat around the mountains but in truthe it was just a drunk filthy dwarf having to crouch on all fours..."
He suddenly stops, seeming to recognize someone in the crowd.
"... maybe this is't important. I think yah did well coosin' me becahse, becahse I know how to use these (he presents his twin waraxes).
With Moradin's help, we will find fame and glory... also for yah, and do... and do..."
Thorgrim isn't really able to remember the start of this meeting and what was discussed...
"... whatever we all agreed to do. What we want to do and what is necessary to do!"
With a stroke of memory and brilliance he adds calling:
"Buttocks Up! Buttocks Up! Buttocks Up!"

OOC: May I suggest each of us takes a different speeching color as his/her own? It is kind of custom on this board and makes the posts easier to attribute to the various players. If we do, I would like to take either Lime or Cyan.

[sblock=OOC]
Thorgrim Wildaxe
Played by Walking Dad
Dwarf Ranger Level 1

Perception: 17 Insight: 12 Low-light Vision

AC 14 Fortitude 15 Reflex 12 Will 12
Initiative: +1 Speed: 5
Str 18 Con 16 Dex 13 Int 10 Wis 14 Cha 8

Hit Points: 33 / 33 Bloodied: 16
Temporary Hit Points: 0
Healing Surge: 8 Surges per day: 9 / 9

Resist:
Saving Throw: +5 vs Poison.

Action Points: 1 Second Wind: 1 (Minor Action)

Languages: Common, Dwarven.

Trained Skills: Athletics +8, Dungeoneering +9, Endurance +9, Heal +7, Perception +7.
Other Skills: Acrobatics 0, Arcana 0, Bluff -1, Diplomacy -1, History +0, Insight +2, Intimidate -1, Nature +2, Religion +0, Stealth 0, Streetwise -1, Thievery 0.

Feats: Toughness, Weapon Prof (Waraxe).

Traits:
Stand Your Ground- You move 1 less square with Forced Movement, and get an Immediate Saving Throw to avoid being knocked Prone.
Prime Shot- +1 To Hit if closest to enemy with Ranged attack.

At-Will Powers: Standard Actions.
Melee Basic Attack (Waraxe): +6 vs AC 1d12+4 damage.
Ranged Basic Attack (None):
Maraunder's Rush (Waraxe): +6 vs AC 1d12+6 damage (Wis bonus included in damage). Can use in place of Charge attack.
Twin Strike (Waraxe & Waraxe) +6 vs AC 1d12 damage & +6 vs AC 1d12 damage.

At-Will Powers: Minor Actions.
Hunter's Quarry: You designate the nearest enemy as your Quarry and deal an extra 1d6 damage against the creature. The Quarry remains active until the creature is killed or you designate a different enemy as Quarry. Minor Action.

Encounter Powers: Minor Actions.
Off-Hand Strike (Waraxe & Waraxe): +6 vs AC 1d12+4 damage. Minor Action.
Second Wind: Healing Surge & +2 to all Defences until end of next turn. Minor Action.

Daily Powers: Standard Actions.
Sudden Strike (Waraxe & Waraxe): +6 vs AC 1d12 damage. Regardless of hit or not Shift 1 square and make a secondary attack against the same target. +6 vs AC 2d12+4 damage, and the target is Weakened until the end of your next Round.

Conditions:

[/sblock]

 

[larryfinnjr]

Pacing across the stage to the Buttocks-chanting Thorgrim, Cinara attempts to diffuse the confusion and embarrassment brought on by Earwax and Wildaxe.

"Yes, yes! Buttocks up! It's the Buttocks -up there-," she yells while pointing to the sky, "that will wonder in awe and shock at the things we Bottom Guilders will do in the days and weeks to come!"

"What's the difference between the Toppers an' us, anyway? Whatta they got that we ain't? Don't they eat, drink, and piss as we do?"

With her hand to her ear, hopefully this garners a "Yeah!" from the crowd.

"Don't they take husbands and wives? Worry 'bout their children and clan? Wish for better days as we do?"

More crowd coaxing.

"Don't a Topper fart, frolick, and f**k like we do?"

From the crowd comes a shout of "NO ONE farts like a Thundergut!" followed by guffaws and bellows.

"Aye! They do! So HOW are we actually different? I'll tell you. But it's a closely guarded secret, so listen close," she says while lowering her voice.

A hush falls over the crowd, dwarves straining not to miss Cinara's words.
Quietly, Cinara continues, "When a Topper tells another about what happened here this day, it'll start with <in a hoity-toity voice> 'Once Upon a Time.'"

Then, a little louder, "But when we Bottomers tell our children the same story, it'll start with <with shout> 'You ain't gonna believe this sh*t!'"


"My name is Cinara Wastewater, daughter of the Forgeborn, heir to WasteWaterWorks and the Septic & Sewer Pumpers' Alliance. You all know me as Phelan's daughter. No longer! My father's shadow, while large..." holding for laughs... "will be filled with the Moradin's forgelight and shine brightly for these glorious dwarves to follow into the Hold. Great will our clans' names be on the tounges of all dwarves as we plumb the Tannheim's secrets and bring our rightful glory back to the Bottom! It is no surprise to me that I have been chosen, as Moradin himself has blessed me with his holy power. This is my day, a Wastewater day. Our day, this band of brothers' day! Your day! the Bottom Dwellers' day!! The first day of the future and the last of the past! Drink with me now! Today! For tomorrow hath not the balls to interrupt our revelry!"

OOC: I hope the presence of some colorful language doesn't offend anyone.

OOC: Playing the only female, I'll take the pink-like color, should we want to color code per WD's comment (which I second).

 

[hairychin]

Len

Len took to the front of the stage, having to speak in public twice in one night was not his idea of fun.

'Keep it simple, lad' he told himself, remembering his Pa's words.

"I'm Len" starts Len, "That's Leonard D Apricot, and most of ye knows me, a proud member of the Union of Recyclers, Creative Re-users and Alternative Processors"

"Me and me brave fellows 'ere are 'bout to go on this 'ere quest for alls Bottom Workers - my brothers and sisters. We been chosen special, by our brethren, by the council, by Master Earwax, 'n' some of us believe by the Gods." Len looks down at his tattooed hands, remembering the pain when his Pa marked him with them. For a moment he remembers it clearer than ever before, but still not why.

A moment passes but Len's still lost in his memory of that day, the crowd start to look at each other and grumble as Len's gone quiet.

'Oh and name things, folks like names, and the namer always gets 'membered' - the only other bit of Pa's advice to Len on speeches comes back to him.

"A name, yeah, that's it, all such brave groups need a name, and I think its right that we be the Fellowship for the Rediscovery Of Tannheim Hold, or FROTH."

"So next time ye blow the head off a couple 'member us, out there, for yous all, and Bottoms Up!"

Hoping he did ok, he returns to his new companions at the back of the stage, and whispers to them, "It could 'ave been worse, the only other thing in me head was the Fellowship of Adventurers to Rediscover Tannheim."

 

[Goonalan]

Ruddy cheeked the euphoric Dwarven crowd salute and roar at regular intervals. Three speeches in and not a dud as of yet, mighty entertainment for the Bottom Workers this evening.

OOC: Just to say the following things- Excellent work so far with the speeches- three to go, I'm gaming tomorrow night and so all speeches should be done by Friday (5 PM GMT) when the journey to the Lost Hold will begin. If you've not posted your speech by then... then, you're a very shy Dwarf. Colours for different PCs speech is good- but also please try and put your PCs name first up for every turn you post- I wont remember who's colour is who because I am CP4, that's as colour blind as it gets. Still waiting for pictures of your PCs from Ripjames & Ressurectah (from memory), unless you two are happy to keep the ones in the map posted previously. Lovely so far, and if all goes to plan you'll be exploring by Monday, Tuesday at the latest... Cheers Goonalan

 

[larryfinnjr]

OOC: Just to say the following things- Excellent work so far with the speeches- three to go, I'm gaming tomorrow night and so all speeches should be done by Friday (5 PM GMT) when the journey to the Lost Hold will begin.

OOC: I too am enjoying the speeches, and the quality of the game thus far is outstanding - kudos and thanks to you all! Just a forewarning: I will likely experience a lull in my available time for a handful of days starting this Tuesday, as my parents are coming to visit (their grandkids).... I also have my own game Friday night (but I'll be sure to check/post before then). And for our DM - silly question, but one that's been in my brain since we started... Is it [Goon-Al-An] or [Goo-Na-Lan]? LOL

 

[ripjames]

Margaret

OOC: I always took it as Go On Alan

With a tear in his eye, he finds he is loved after all, Hah mom see it is normal for people to like you. he thinks to himself. With a tear in his eye he takes to the stage to make his speech and stares for a second, as he cannot tell the assembled dwarves he isn't actually a member of their clan and is in the thieves guld no less. Not now that they all like him.

"Umm... Lets see..." he begins.

OOC: obviously never taken public speeking

Not many of you know me as I tend to keep to myself for the most part. I'm in the inventors guild and I am working on inventing a new marvel that will revolutionize how we do everything. I call it the internet. With if you will be able to see naked female dwarves at just a few key strokes on your personal computer, and find that special kink that you think only you like, but really lots of people like. Well that's the most important thing it will be able to do anyway. I still have a few details to work out with it though so i decided to take a break from the project and try to go on this quest with my good friend Kazzagin, but don't worry i will be back to finish it.

OOC: Just a few minor detials for him to work out like electricity, microchips, the computer, telephone.. Just a few minor details, I hope this dosen't offend anyone but I did have to make up my own guild.. oh should I add a bluff check to this?

 

[Goonalan]

Margaret

OOC: I always took it as Go On Alan

"Umm... Lets see..." he begins. Not many of you know me as I tend to keep to myself for the most part. I'm in the inventors guild and I am working on inventing a new marvel that will revolutionize how we do everything. I call it the internet. With if you will be able to see naked female dwarves at just a few key strokes on your personal computer, and find that special kink that you think only you like, but really lots of people like. Well that's the most important thing it will be able to do anyway. I still have a few details to work out with it though so i decided to take a break from the project and try to go on this quest with my good friend Kazzagin, but don't worry i will be back to finish it.

OOC: Just a few minor detials for him to work out like electricity, microchips, the computer, telephone.. Just a few minor details, I hope this dosen't offend anyone but I did have to make up my own guild.. oh should I add a bluff check to this?

OOC: It is indeed 'go on Alan', and here's the story- at Uni I used to make short films and do a little photography- mainly of/about skateboarders... it was very popular at the time. Anyway the skateboarders were all cool kids- really cool, far too cool for me. Every time one of them did a cool trick- 'a 50/50 pop-shove-it fakey' for instance- one, or all, of them would shout 'go on Alan'. Foolishly a little way in I asked the cool kids chief 'who's Alan?' To which he replied- 'you are', thereafter whenever any of the cool kids saw me- at work, at rest or at play they would shout 'go on Alan', which would often cause me to drop whatever I was carrying and/or embarrass myself in some other way. Four weeks later the Internet arrived in my small part of the planet (yes, I'm from a time before the internet, and in fact PCs) and I had to give myself an on-line id- hence, 'go on Alan'.

The assembled Dwarves look confused, scratch their beards-

"Inter...Nut"
"Personal Comb?"

Not so much a hit as a near miss, Mardred continues to exude an air of mystery, leaving his audience mystified.

The Dwarf receives a half-hearted round of applause, the crowd's thinking- 'still, better him than me'.

The next speech is going to have to pick up the pace, and end with an upbeat call to arms, or something glorious.

OOC: If you think you might want to use a Skill then use it- don't wait for me to tell you, they're your guys, you can do (more-or-less) anything you please with them. I may add or suggest but... in the end you decide.