Well, I had planned on writing up Thror's litany of complaints against Shinobi Killfist, explaining to his god just why Shinobi deserved to be smote, but then Thror got his throat ripped out by a wolf and his body melted into a pile of goo. But on the plus side, Shinobi was mind-controlled by the evil chicken, so it's all good.
After the first TPK, a new band of adventurers were sent up north: Geese Fly South In Winter, a human killing machine, Aeieielieilo, elven archer, and Throgdigar the half-orc cleric (not to be confused with Throgdizar the half-orc barbarian).
Geese Fly South In Winter was raised by a secretive group of monks in a far-distant hidden cloister someplace sunny. There he was taught the first four of the thirteen combat styles in the Zodiac of Perfect Martial Wisdom.
The Zodiac of Perfect Martial Wisdom:
Geese in Winter Style (Plucking off the target from a great distance with a composite longbow and the Far Shot feat)
Suicidal Bee-Swarm Style (Advancing towards the enemy, still with a bow, making the most of Rapid Shot)
Angered She-Bear Style (Using a Large weapon with a good crit multiplier [Geese Fly South In Winter used a scythe] and maxing out Power Attack)
Wise Oxen Style (Charging. It's definitely the easiest style to learn.)
Coiling Serpent Style (the Spiked Chain/Combat Reflexes/Stand Still combo, requires a level of Psychic Warrior)
Crushing Jaws of the Shark Style (aka Improved Bull Rushing 'em off a cliff)
Two-Fisted Monkey Style (Ambi and Twoweapon), Hunting Ambush Spider Style (Spring Attack with a reach weapon), Harrying Rabbit Style (Shot on the Run), Paralyzing Venomous Angelfish Style (Stunning Fist), Cunning Coyote Style (Improved Disarm), Overweening Elephant Style (Trample), and Drunken Tiger Style (Great Cleave).
After my new psion dies, I'll make a fighter/psychic warrior who has also dedicated himself to the Zodiac of Perfect Martial Wisdom.
Why is that? you ask. I'll tell you why. It's because Geese Flying South In Winter died five combat rounds into his career! I never got a chance to expound on how much I like swords! And bows! And spiked chains! I only talked about sword-chucks for like three minutes!
And man, Geese Flying South In Winter was a kickass character. Str 18, Dex 18, Wis 5...
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Poor Geese Flying South In Winter and his two boon companions were sent by the Duke's man, Nicodemus, to investigate rumors of a frog-monster attacking Mountain Meets Stream Near Forest. En route they saw some bandits attacking a fortified farm.
Actually, Geese Flying South In Winter believed that the bandits were farmers attacking their own farm, and wondered why, if they wanted to set fire to their outbuildings, they were doing it by shooting flaming arrows over the earthworks wall instead of going inside and using torches. But hey, Geese Flying South In Winter wasn't a farmer, so maybe there's some secret farmer lore with which he was unfamiliar.
To make a long story short, Geese Flying South In Winter and his boon companions were killed by the bandits, who outnumbered the would-be heroes four to one and had elementals. It was an ignominious death, as the bandit-farmers were using really horrible tactics, too. Geese Flying South In Winter shouted some advice at them, and they didn't take it, and they still killed everyone. Bunch of TPKing jerks.
It turned out (our third set of characters learned from Nicodemus, the Duke's man) that the bandits were affiliated with the racist anti-half-orc wing of some local church, which is why they were raiding Mountain Meets Stream Near Forest. Meh, said our third set of characters (Kid Presentable, ex-gladiator; Stumpy, dwarven transmuter; and Featherkill, archer), and went off to fight the frog-demon.
Long story short: the frog demon handed us our asses, despite our remarkable teamwork and surprisingly effective tactics (ie, disarming him with Kid Presentable's whip dagger, then plunking him full of arrows when he came out to pick his trident up again). It was sad, but three second-level guys just couldn't defeat a CR5 monster. We did get him down to one hit point, losing only Stumpy, but then Kid Presentable's dice turned against him.
It was a shame, too, as the third group was really starting to gel (we worked together to ransack a deserted inn and interrogate a frightened mother of two en route to the temple where the frog demon was hanging out) when we all died.
After the first TPK, a new band of adventurers were sent up north: Geese Fly South In Winter, a human killing machine, Aeieielieilo, elven archer, and Throgdigar the half-orc cleric (not to be confused with Throgdizar the half-orc barbarian).
Geese Fly South In Winter was raised by a secretive group of monks in a far-distant hidden cloister someplace sunny. There he was taught the first four of the thirteen combat styles in the Zodiac of Perfect Martial Wisdom.
The Zodiac of Perfect Martial Wisdom:
Geese in Winter Style (Plucking off the target from a great distance with a composite longbow and the Far Shot feat)
Suicidal Bee-Swarm Style (Advancing towards the enemy, still with a bow, making the most of Rapid Shot)
Angered She-Bear Style (Using a Large weapon with a good crit multiplier [Geese Fly South In Winter used a scythe] and maxing out Power Attack)
Wise Oxen Style (Charging. It's definitely the easiest style to learn.)
Coiling Serpent Style (the Spiked Chain/Combat Reflexes/Stand Still combo, requires a level of Psychic Warrior)
Crushing Jaws of the Shark Style (aka Improved Bull Rushing 'em off a cliff)
Two-Fisted Monkey Style (Ambi and Twoweapon), Hunting Ambush Spider Style (Spring Attack with a reach weapon), Harrying Rabbit Style (Shot on the Run), Paralyzing Venomous Angelfish Style (Stunning Fist), Cunning Coyote Style (Improved Disarm), Overweening Elephant Style (Trample), and Drunken Tiger Style (Great Cleave).
After my new psion dies, I'll make a fighter/psychic warrior who has also dedicated himself to the Zodiac of Perfect Martial Wisdom.
Why is that? you ask. I'll tell you why. It's because Geese Flying South In Winter died five combat rounds into his career! I never got a chance to expound on how much I like swords! And bows! And spiked chains! I only talked about sword-chucks for like three minutes!
And man, Geese Flying South In Winter was a kickass character. Str 18, Dex 18, Wis 5...
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Poor Geese Flying South In Winter and his two boon companions were sent by the Duke's man, Nicodemus, to investigate rumors of a frog-monster attacking Mountain Meets Stream Near Forest. En route they saw some bandits attacking a fortified farm.
Actually, Geese Flying South In Winter believed that the bandits were farmers attacking their own farm, and wondered why, if they wanted to set fire to their outbuildings, they were doing it by shooting flaming arrows over the earthworks wall instead of going inside and using torches. But hey, Geese Flying South In Winter wasn't a farmer, so maybe there's some secret farmer lore with which he was unfamiliar.
To make a long story short, Geese Flying South In Winter and his boon companions were killed by the bandits, who outnumbered the would-be heroes four to one and had elementals. It was an ignominious death, as the bandit-farmers were using really horrible tactics, too. Geese Flying South In Winter shouted some advice at them, and they didn't take it, and they still killed everyone. Bunch of TPKing jerks.
It turned out (our third set of characters learned from Nicodemus, the Duke's man) that the bandits were affiliated with the racist anti-half-orc wing of some local church, which is why they were raiding Mountain Meets Stream Near Forest. Meh, said our third set of characters (Kid Presentable, ex-gladiator; Stumpy, dwarven transmuter; and Featherkill, archer), and went off to fight the frog-demon.
Long story short: the frog demon handed us our asses, despite our remarkable teamwork and surprisingly effective tactics (ie, disarming him with Kid Presentable's whip dagger, then plunking him full of arrows when he came out to pick his trident up again). It was sad, but three second-level guys just couldn't defeat a CR5 monster. We did get him down to one hit point, losing only Stumpy, but then Kid Presentable's dice turned against him.
It was a shame, too, as the third group was really starting to gel (we worked together to ransack a deserted inn and interrogate a frightened mother of two en route to the temple where the frog demon was hanging out) when we all died.