What are the DM's obligations of disclosure for sensitive game material? What is "sensitive" game material?

[iserith]

I think the main point of contention in the present discussion is largely semantic in nature. Most people objecting to censoring the game object to changing the general expectation of the genre to accommodate someone who is looking for a reason to be upset OR someone who is so fragile as to have no business in playing an adventure game.

I doubt anyone would object to sensitiviy to someone with a bona fide trauma. And frankly, for me, it is WEIRD to include any detail about sexual assault or "torture porn." Come on. Just yuck.

But if we have to ferret out any possible discomfort ahead of time, we are in trouble. And this is a trend on college campuses and elsewhere. If you are freaked out by graphic violence, do not go to a war movie. If you are super freaked out by discussion of sexual assaults etc., don't go to the vagina monologues.

Don't try to shut a production down for everyone else. It's on YOU. Which is why I avoid things that make me uncomfortable OR keep my mouth shut and hold on tight. My needs do not trump everyone else's.

I largely agree. A sense of personal responsibility helps here.

The game does a decent job of describing what one might reasonably expect. It's "about storytelling in worlds of swords and sorcery." The adventurers might "explore a dark dungeon, a ruined city, a haunted castle, a lost temple deep in a jungle, or a lava-filled cavern beneath a mysterious mountain." They might "battle fantastic monsters." The groups creates an "exciting story of bold adventurers who confront deadly perils" and "sometimes an adventurer might come to a grisly end, torn apart by ferocious monsters or done in by a nefarious villain."

A Google search will further reveal what "sword and sorcery" might be about.

From there, someone can decide if the "default" game is something they can handle. If I had a problem with elements of the genre or was terrified by the thought of ghosts, or abhorred violence, was triggered by confronting deadly perils, or couldn't handle my character or others dying violently, then I hope I would choose not to play rather than try to get the DM and other players to remove some of the default elements.

There are definitely things I will not tolerate in a game. It doesn't generally have anything to do with the content, but rather how the game is played. But I'd rather just leave the group (and have!) than ask for things to change if everyone else seems to enjoy it the way it is. If someone asked me to not include certain things as DM or to avoid certain topics or humor, I'd certainly think about it, but ultimately if I felt the request simply made the person a bad fit for the group, I'd have no qualms saying so.

That's me though, and others appear to take a different tact.

 

[lowkey13]

*Deleted by user*

 

[Warpiglet]

Well, I wanted to check in with the community, and perhaps I didn't explain myself very well. That said, I think that the vast majority of the conversations in this thread have been amazing and respectful and have provided some great ideas!

I think it was that, when I saw the comment by [MENTION=2629]jgsugden[/MENTION] (and I saw your followup in this thread, thank you!), it made me examine some of my prior conceptions about sensitive game material. Not just handling it, and disclosing it, but what the general norms are about sensitive game material, and whether those might have changed over time.

One thing I am noticing is that many people refer to keeping games "PG" or "PG-13," which is something I think is a common idea (in principle). But that had me thinking that this idea of "PG-13" in America, for example, is something that is overly friendly to a lot of violence, but not so much sex. That happens to be something I kinda agree with, at least in terms of a game that involves, um, some killing, but I was trying to understand whether my beliefs are universal, whether they have changed, etc.

I think I'm trying to understand whether there are certain "norms" baked into a D&D game, what those norms are, and what deviations from those norms require disclosure. Perhaps, on a more meta- level, I am trying to figure out why we have those norms, and not others.

Yeah. Killing sh*t. Baked right in.

Torturing bunnies? We don't want to wallow in that detail.

 

[tardigrade]

Additionally, it forms this awkward scenario where (...)

Actually, it's a way to tell the DM they're *already in* the awkward scenario, and can choose to do something about it. The problem isn't created by giving the players a way to tell the DM about it.

 

[Imaculata]

At the start of most campaigns, I agree with my group on how we will handle adult situations. I generally agree with them that while adult situations are not off limits, we won't go into uncomfortable details. So yes to sexual encounters, no to explicit details of those encounters. We fade to black.

For a Call of Cthulhu campaign I've also given warnings that the story would include things like crazy cults and ritual sacrifices and such, because I knew one of our players was a Christian. I wanted to make sure everyone in the group knew what they were in for, and did not object to it.

 

[Jester David]

<mistaken attribution for a quote. Disregard this post. Apologies.>

 

[Jester David]

I just try to avoid gaming with snowflakes. Anyone that can be "triggered" by made up fantasy game content, isn't stable enough to be playing.

There are certainly people who look for excuses to be outraged. I quit Twitter for that reason.

But that does not mean everyone who is "triggered" has a spurious reason for their outrage.
Would you call a veteran who served overseas, took fire, lost friends, and is now suffering from PTSD a "snowflake"?


Virtually everyone has some baggage.
The wife who left them and took their kids. Their mother just died. Their dad beat them. They were in a car crash and had to be cut out. They're battling alcoholism. Their dog was just hit by a car. They were violently mugged. They were fired. They have ALS and are facing a future in a wheelchair. They escaped poverty and don't want to return. They were aggressively bullied as a kid.

You take your worst fear. That secret dread. And then you give yourself a bad night's sleep after a generic week of work stress. Then you go to hobby activity that is meant to be a break from reality. And that dread suddenly appears in the game. Your stress relief suddenly becomes a stressor.
Not everyone will react the same way. Some people will get sad. Some afraid. Some pissed off. But it's all the same result: they have been triggered.

 

[Wiseblood]

For me sensitive game material is information that, I think, would detract from enjoyment.

 

[Warpiglet]

There are certainly people who look for excuses to be outraged. I quit Twitter for that reason.

But that does not mean everyone who is "triggered" has a spurious reason for their outrage.
Would you call a veteran who served overseas, took fire, lost friends, and is now suffering from PTSD a "snowflake"?


Virtually everyone has some baggage.
The wife who left them and took their kids. Their mother just died. Their dad beat them. They were in a car crash and had to be cut out. They're battling alcoholism. Their dog was just hit by a car. They were violently mugged. They were fired. They have ALS and are facing a future in a wheelchair. They escaped poverty and don't want to return. They were aggressively bullied as a kid.

You take your worst fear. That secret dread. And then you give yourself a bad night's sleep after a generic week of work stress. Then you go to hobby activity that is meant to be a break from reality. And that dread suddenly appears in the game. Your stress relief suddenly becomes a stressor.
Not everyone will react the same way. Some people will get sad. Some afraid. Some pissed off. But it's all the same result: they have been triggered.

I think you are right. People are people and everyone has something. I got beaten and robbed in the street by a stranger. Not cool. A real criterion A stressor in the clinical literature. Thought I could be killed...

And until I got past the trauma and sleepless nights, there was not a lot of D and D to be had. I would not have been in the right place. It was on ME 100% to get right because before I did, I was raw and might not have liked being taunted and robbed in game. I don't know for sure because I excused myself for a while.

In that scenario what was I going to ask of others? No violence until I am comfortable with it? Its not even D and D anymore at that point.

I think it is kind to consider the wishes of others. But I also think the game deserves to be open for adventures. Adventures are rough business right? If you cannot tolerate watching the LOTR or hobbit (even a superhero flick?) or whatever as an adult (because it is too triggering) it is probably time for some self care/treatment.

I don't think undermining the nearly universal themes of the game is much of an option. The game is predicated on violence, conflict, and all manner of adversity. If you avoid all of that, you are pretty much playing something else.

Not having a story line about divorce or a kid with cancer? Sure. But I am not sure how common that would be anyway. I think compassion tempered with common sense is the way to go. Be considerate but if the general underpinnings of the game have to be undone it probably is not fair to the group.

 

[jgsugden]

Let me know if this sounds familiar:

1.) Before you begin, *ask* what they like and what they don't like. Plan to try the stuff they like (that you also like) and don't do the stuff they don't like (regardless of how much you like it).
2.) Once you get going, if they add something to the list of stuff they don't like, respect that and don't do it. If you're doing it at the moment, stop it ASAP.
3.) Don't secretly record your session and put it on the internet.

Pretty simple rules that work for a lot of things.