What etiquette rules do we assume is common in the community?

[R_J_K75]

Another beauty in the endless parade of advantages to online play: we had a player down with COIVD, and he still made the game. I'll never go back to F2F.

I tried playing online and I found the experiences less than satisfying. My prep time increased significantly, and I found that a lot of points of etiquette went out the window. Players were easily distracted, had side conversations while I was talking, they'd log on late and worst of all some players made minimum effort at best to learn the Roll20 software. Two months into to COVID we resumed F2F gaming, and it would take something drastic for me to consider ever playing online again. Its just not the same for me if we're not all sitting around the same table.

 

[Jd Smith1]

I tried playing online and I found the experiences less than satisfying. My prep time increased significantly, and I found that a lot of points of etiquette went out the window. Players were easily distracted, had side conversations while I was talking, they'd log on late and worst of all some players made minimum effort at best to learn the Roll20 software. Two months into to COVID we resumed F2F gaming, and it would take something drastic for me to consider ever playing online again. Its just not the same for me if we're not all sitting around the same table.

My experience has been the exact opposite. My players are all on time, interest (via Discord) lasts all week, and motivation is very high.

Again, I credit my vetting process to ensure I get players of the right sort, but I'm on my third year-long online campaign and it moves swimmingly. I'll never bother with F2F again.

But a worthy point to note is that it is the game, not social interaction, that I enjoy the most.

 

[R_J_K75]

My experience has been the exact opposite. My players are all on time, interest (via Discord) lasts all week, and motivation is very high.

Again, I credit my vetting process to ensure I get players of the right sort, but I'm on my third year-long online campaign and it moves swimmingly. I'll never bother with F2F again.

But a worthy point to note is that it is the game, not social interaction, that I enjoy the most.

Nowadays and for most of the time I've been gaming I've mostly played with friends. So the social interaction is more important than the actual game for us. I've played with strangers at game stores and through Meetup but those usually had alot of player turnover, and sometimes peoples personalities end up differing too much for me to want to do that anymore. At this point in my life if I'm not playing with friends, I'm just not going to play. So, I'm happy for you that you are able to find players compatible for your game.

 

[Lanefan]

Conversely, IME American players tend to swear at the table more than Brits do, especially male Americans. I generally prefer no IRL swearing during a D&D game. Happy to swear at the pub afterwards.

You really wouldn't like my namesake character; about every third word that comes out of his mouth is NSFW.

 

[Jd Smith1]

Nowadays and for most of the time I've been gaming I've mostly played with friends. So the social interaction is more important than the actual game for us. I've played with strangers at game stores and through Meetup but those usually had alot of player turnover, and sometimes peoples personalities end up differing too much for me to want to do that anymore. At this point in my life if I'm not playing with friends, I'm just not going to play. So, I'm happy for you that you are able to find players compatible for your game.

Yeah, I've got the best group I've ever had, and I've been gaming since 1979.

And after gaming together for over two years, we are friends.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

You really wouldn't like my namesake character; about every third word that comes out of his mouth is NSFW.

How do you pronounce “NSFW”?

 

[Doc_Klueless]

• Are there certain rules of etiquette that you not only assume but, if broken, would cause you leave the game if broken?

• Don't smell. This includes body odor or heavy perfumes/colognes
• Don't be a dick
• Don't touch other people
• Don't touch other people's stuff

• Do you have any stories of joining a table that had very different rules of etiquette than you were used to? These can be horror stories or, perhaps more interesting, situations where it was a positive eye opener or refreshing change.

Not really. Which is amazing because I've been gaming since '81. Though I'm sure there have been some such situations. I'm just a very easy going dude and most things kinda roll off me.

• Are there common rules of etiquette that chafe you? Expectations that you find to be common but annoying or overly constricting?

This rule: Keep it serious. We're a serious group doing serious things. Bleh. I hate that rule. Hate it. In real life, people react to dark times with humor. Oh, sure. Not all the time. But most of the time.

I work in healthcare administering anesthesia. My patients are going through some of the most stressful, God-awful times in their lives and they, with the rare exception, react to these times with humor. Sure. Dark humor. But humor nonetheless.

Now I do agree that too much is too much. But if my character says something silly or pithy or some such when things are going crappy, don't come down on me. Bill Paxton's Hudson going "Game over, man! GAME OVER!" after the dropship crashes is memorable because it's so incongruous with the situation AND it highlights how he deals with stress. When confronted by the fact that Newt has lived alone on an Alien infested planet, he doesn't go: "Let's study what she's done and blah, blah, blah." He reacts with a whiny "Why don't you put her in charge!"

This goes with "joke" names as well. I've found that parents can be exceedingly cruel with the names they give their children. Here are some REAL patient names: Peter Wart, Christmas Carol, Beneetha Sheets, and Mynex Child. So my character named Ta'ahd or Roach the Thief or Alfus Pinwillow is actually tamer than some poor bastard's real name.

If you are comfortable with discussing it, it would be interesting if you posted where you are from and the types of people you tend to play with. I would expect that etiquette will differ among different demographics, but perhaps there are certain somewhat universal gold rules.

I grew up in Comfort, Tx. Spent 10 years in the army. Another 13 years in Los Angeles with a 3 year educational break in Georgia. Now I'm back in San Antonio, Tx. I've played with all kinds of people and the only somewhat universal golden rule has been: Don't be a dick.

 

[Lanefan]

How do you pronounce “NSFW”?

If I typed it out, your reply would be in red text...

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I've found that parents can be exceedingly cruel with the names they give their children.

One of my Mom’s students was given a Biblical name. He was named for Psalm 104…

But on his birth certificate, it was spelled in its common abbreviated form: “Pslm CIV.” Pronounced “pislim siv”.



It’s like the flipside of the Key & Peele Substitute Teacher skits.

 

[SteveC]

Really interesting discussion! I have run a ton of games at cons and FLGS over the years and I have to agree with the hygiene comments.

One thing I haven't seen discussed is lines/veils/x cards. I don't use these things because I had someone tell me they can make things worse by effectively saying whatever you don't "X" is allowed. I do a very PG13 game, and at Con games I say "we are all here to have a good time. If you're not due to content or things we say or do here, let me know and we'll make it work out for you." And then I have to pay attention to body language and how the players are acting to help the extra shy ones. Never had a problem with it, but I have had to step in and take control of things a few times when people went over the line.

With regards to drink, I let people have a beer or two in the game if we're at an appropriate place, but hold the line on more. I've told this story before: we were playing Masks of Nyarlathotep and there is a scene where you meet one of the most powerful sorcerers in the mythos but you have no reason to know who he is. One of the players who lives and breathes the mythos had a few too many beers and just said "I walk up and punch the guy!" when we were introduced. It would have wrecked the entire game at that point so the GM put a hold to it and we said "no more than a couple of drinks". For years since then, it's been a joke where we say "I go up and punch Crowley!" when in a similar situation.