Turanil, you're doomed. I'm sorry.
Curiosity will probably eat at you until you pick up the Player's Handbook, if not the GMG.
One day, I'll play this game. For the time being, I can't get my group interested in it, when we have so many other great games to go through. But for the parts that made me smile:
--The races, from all the standards (human, elf, half-elf, half-orc, etc.) to "grunge elves," "gnome titans", complete with gender-damaging combat moves, to "pixie-fairies."
--The classes, from the standards (again, fighters, magic-users, illusionists, etc.) to Battle mages (what Teflon Billy in the comic is), to berserkers (who MUST fight something every day or go increasingly mad), to knight errants, to the spell-jacking that several classes employ.
--The spells themselves. Screw Metamagics! Why need them when you can have 5 versions of raise dead (including a VERY FLAWED version you can cast at 3rd level!), and sidewinder and skipping betty fireballs, and spells that make runes that can make a reader's eyes go "pop."
--The honor system, whose benefits can make purely gamist players forcibly roleplay to gain bonuses. Ever heard of having "too much honor"??? It's in here.
--Finally, complete rules on rubbing dice across famous signatures to gain luck, as well as how to properly roll dice - no more of those cheap chintzy players who just "drop a roll".
It's just pure fun for anyone who ever picked up a book before 1990.