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D&D 5E What to do about flakes?!
- Thread starter Klaudius Rex
- Start date
ccs
41st lv DM
If it's the same people all the time? Drop them.
Last year (spring/summer of '16) we ran a lighthearted 5e game of all barbarians. 5 people - 1 DM/4 players. We played every other week & agreed that the game would run as long as any 3 players could make it.
2 of the players revealed themselves to be unreliable & inconsiderate. One consistently forgot which week we were playing on. Sometimes he'd show up, sometimes not, sometimes he'd call, other times.... The other just wouldn't tell you if they weren't going to make it. So we never knew until about 15m prior to start time if we were having a game that night. We played 50% of the expected sessions.
Eventually we (DM & the 2 reliable people decided to end the game. We played a final wrap up session & let the others know the game was over - and that they were not going to be invited to future games.
They were mad.
Screw them.
My friend Josh (not involved in the above game)? Great guy. Great friend. Completely unreliable though outside his job. He tells you he'll be somewhere it's a coin flip at the last moment. Got himself banned from our long standing Sunday evening game.
Last year (spring/summer of '16) we ran a lighthearted 5e game of all barbarians. 5 people - 1 DM/4 players. We played every other week & agreed that the game would run as long as any 3 players could make it.
2 of the players revealed themselves to be unreliable & inconsiderate. One consistently forgot which week we were playing on. Sometimes he'd show up, sometimes not, sometimes he'd call, other times.... The other just wouldn't tell you if they weren't going to make it. So we never knew until about 15m prior to start time if we were having a game that night. We played 50% of the expected sessions.
Eventually we (DM & the 2 reliable people decided to end the game. We played a final wrap up session & let the others know the game was over - and that they were not going to be invited to future games.
They were mad.
Screw them.
My friend Josh (not involved in the above game)? Great guy. Great friend. Completely unreliable though outside his job. He tells you he'll be somewhere it's a coin flip at the last moment. Got himself banned from our long standing Sunday evening game.
S
Sunseeker
Guest
Typically, I will call the game off if I have two or more players missing (assuming 4-5 players). First off, I don't like running "side adventures" and I don't like progressing campaigns with only two or fewer people. Second, if we're all friends with each other, having the other players denied a game helps put pressure on them, and the no-shows to show up, or support getting new people. I've found its pretty easy when one player misses, even if they're missing regularly, for the other players to fall into a rut of "this is okay", even when it is highly irritating to me as the DM and the attitude makes it worse, because what they're missing is that now if one more of them misses the whole game gets called....anyway.
Constant flakes get moved to "cameo" status. They're free to show up wherever the players are, help out and get credit for that day, but they get none of the long-running benefits of being part of the party. Their characters are not allowed to be run any anyone (as a person who misses infrequently would be allowed) while that person is out, they are essentially no longer part of the party. They can miss out on anything from loot, XP (when I use it), levels (when they miss milestones) and in-game reputation earned with the factions of the game.
Now, there's a special circle of hell for last-minute flakes. It's one thing if Bob says on Tuesday he can't make Friday's game. But if Bob days nothing until an hour before the game, and does it frequently, Bob gets not so kindly asked to either get his stuff together, put it in a backpack and take it somewhere, or to stop attending. The same applies to people who do the reverse, saying they won't come until the last minute and then saying they're gonna show. I try to make a decision on if we're having a game at least 24 hours in advance, so if you can't give me the same courtesy, you clearly lack courtesy and are not someone I wish to play with.
I may struggle to find players sometimes, but when I find ones, they're amazing and I'm okay with that. There's this one 15-year-old kid I game with, I'll take him over 70% of the adults I've ever gamed with, even if this kid likes to play evil characters. He's polite, he's thankful he's always timely and always knows whats going on with his life over the next couple weeks and if he can make a game. He gets the game (both the math and the social aspect) and man, just thinking about my players makes me sad that I haven't played in a couple months.
Constant flakes get moved to "cameo" status. They're free to show up wherever the players are, help out and get credit for that day, but they get none of the long-running benefits of being part of the party. Their characters are not allowed to be run any anyone (as a person who misses infrequently would be allowed) while that person is out, they are essentially no longer part of the party. They can miss out on anything from loot, XP (when I use it), levels (when they miss milestones) and in-game reputation earned with the factions of the game.
Now, there's a special circle of hell for last-minute flakes. It's one thing if Bob says on Tuesday he can't make Friday's game. But if Bob days nothing until an hour before the game, and does it frequently, Bob gets not so kindly asked to either get his stuff together, put it in a backpack and take it somewhere, or to stop attending. The same applies to people who do the reverse, saying they won't come until the last minute and then saying they're gonna show. I try to make a decision on if we're having a game at least 24 hours in advance, so if you can't give me the same courtesy, you clearly lack courtesy and are not someone I wish to play with.
I may struggle to find players sometimes, but when I find ones, they're amazing and I'm okay with that. There's this one 15-year-old kid I game with, I'll take him over 70% of the adults I've ever gamed with, even if this kid likes to play evil characters. He's polite, he's thankful he's always timely and always knows whats going on with his life over the next couple weeks and if he can make a game. He gets the game (both the math and the social aspect) and man, just thinking about my players makes me sad that I haven't played in a couple months.
transtemporal
Explorer
I understand your frustration OP but sometimes life stuff takes precedence over DnD (I know I know, sacrilege 
). You just have to accept it might happen, cancel if you need to and reschedule.
If it keeps happening and its the same people, it might be worth checking in with them to see whats up. They might have competing priorities they haven't told you about. And when I say "check in", I don't mean "confront".
However, if its everyone not showing up or enough that I have to cancel 4 sessions in a row, then I generally wind up the entire game and call it a day. Did that with our Nova Praxis game. The cat-herding got too much, lol.
). You just have to accept it might happen, cancel if you need to and reschedule. If it keeps happening and its the same people, it might be worth checking in with them to see whats up. They might have competing priorities they haven't told you about. And when I say "check in", I don't mean "confront".
However, if its everyone not showing up or enough that I have to cancel 4 sessions in a row, then I generally wind up the entire game and call it a day. Did that with our Nova Praxis game. The cat-herding got too much, lol.
SubDude
Explorer
I play monthly at my FLGS, and I have a decent-length waiting list; so if players aren't showing up they're "on probation" at a minimum, depending on their excuses. Advance notice is expected, and if too many players are going to be absent we will cancel the game.
But if they don't even bother to let me know that they're not coming, then they're replaced. Only had to kick one player out so far, though it stung because he was a lot of fun when he managed to show up.
Absent players get half XP, and my group currently ranges from 9000 to 14,000 XP. Current worst offender has missed 8 of 22 sessions, though he has let me know well in advance, every single time. He's on probation as indicated above, so if he misses 3 games in a row he'll be replaced too. Again, also a pretty good / fun player.
If someone has better things to do, then by all means they should do them. But much like a bowling league, D&D is a group activity that suffers when players can't make it. If you can't make it, that doesn't mean we can't still be friends. But just because we are friends doesn't entitle you to adversely impact the rest of the players' fun.
But if they don't even bother to let me know that they're not coming, then they're replaced. Only had to kick one player out so far, though it stung because he was a lot of fun when he managed to show up.
Absent players get half XP, and my group currently ranges from 9000 to 14,000 XP. Current worst offender has missed 8 of 22 sessions, though he has let me know well in advance, every single time. He's on probation as indicated above, so if he misses 3 games in a row he'll be replaced too. Again, also a pretty good / fun player.
If someone has better things to do, then by all means they should do them. But much like a bowling league, D&D is a group activity that suffers when players can't make it. If you can't make it, that doesn't mean we can't still be friends. But just because we are friends doesn't entitle you to adversely impact the rest of the players' fun.
mflayermonk
First Post
I usually set a time limit for a campaign-say 4 to 8 sessions and wrap everything up at the end. People tend to stick around until everything is finished because an end is in sight. Some people leave or return for later campaigns. Sort of the "train stop" method of campaign planning.
Lanefan
Victoria Rules
Character sheets stay here between sessions, and everyone knows full well ahead of time that if they don't make it to a game their character will still be in play just as if it had its player attached, with all inherent risks and rewards applying.
If the missing player leaves instructions for the character they're followed where practical. If not, or if the instructions don't cover everything, we collectively do our best to play the character reasonably close to its established norms (e.g. if it rarely sticks its nose into melee when the player's there, it doesn't suddenly get thrown into the front line when the player's absent), and one player or another will do the dice-rolling and hit-point tracking for it.
If there's 5 players I'll run with 3. If there's 4 players I'll sometimes run with 2 (depending what's going on) and always with 3. It's a bit easier these days, as even if someone's not there (e.g. off on holiday somewhere or home in bed with a cold) we can still text back and forth if there's something urgent.
Lan-"and obviously if I-as-DM am the one who can't make it the game sinks - not much I can do about that"-efan
If the missing player leaves instructions for the character they're followed where practical. If not, or if the instructions don't cover everything, we collectively do our best to play the character reasonably close to its established norms (e.g. if it rarely sticks its nose into melee when the player's there, it doesn't suddenly get thrown into the front line when the player's absent), and one player or another will do the dice-rolling and hit-point tracking for it.
If there's 5 players I'll run with 3. If there's 4 players I'll sometimes run with 2 (depending what's going on) and always with 3. It's a bit easier these days, as even if someone's not there (e.g. off on holiday somewhere or home in bed with a cold) we can still text back and forth if there's something urgent.
Lan-"and obviously if I-as-DM am the one who can't make it the game sinks - not much I can do about that"-efan
Rya.Reisender
Explorer
It really gets me worked up when someone doesn't show up. I'm even considering taking money for each session ahead of time, then give the money back to the people who actually showed up. The remaining money is collected and I pay stuff like adventure paths and maps from it.
Ralif Redhammer
Legend
Agreed, absolutely.
I have two groups. One of which, attendance has never been a problem. I’ve never had to worry about not having enough people there. The other of which is practically the opposite. Two, maybe three reliable players, and the rest are flakes. Yet because they are friends, I have traditionally let it slide, because yes, friendship is important.
But I always make my adventures scalable for the group with the flakes. I plan for both good attendance and bad attendance. Because even if just two people show up to play, I don’t want to punish them for everyone else’s slacking. They showed up to game, so let’s game!
The attendance issues of the one group still really bother me. I’m doing double-work for most adventures. I get that life comes up and gets in the way from time to time, but ultimately people either want to game and can, or they don’t and can't. A DM doesn’t have the luxury of not putting work into the adventures and trying to make things fun for everyone, or no-showing. After a while, non-attendance starts to feel pretty disrespectful, friendship or no friendship.
I have two groups. One of which, attendance has never been a problem. I’ve never had to worry about not having enough people there. The other of which is practically the opposite. Two, maybe three reliable players, and the rest are flakes. Yet because they are friends, I have traditionally let it slide, because yes, friendship is important.
But I always make my adventures scalable for the group with the flakes. I plan for both good attendance and bad attendance. Because even if just two people show up to play, I don’t want to punish them for everyone else’s slacking. They showed up to game, so let’s game!
The attendance issues of the one group still really bother me. I’m doing double-work for most adventures. I get that life comes up and gets in the way from time to time, but ultimately people either want to game and can, or they don’t and can't. A DM doesn’t have the luxury of not putting work into the adventures and trying to make things fun for everyone, or no-showing. After a while, non-attendance starts to feel pretty disrespectful, friendship or no friendship.
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