Let's just get them out of the way...
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What the heck? Is that a steering wheel stuck on your crotch?" The pirate says, "Yaaaaar, it's driving me nuts."
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
A ghost walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve spirits here."
A string walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here." The string goes outside and pulls him self apart a little bit, and then ties himself up. He comes back into the bar, and the bartender says, "Heeeeey... Aren't you that string that was just in here?" The string smiles and says, "Frayed knot."
An englishman, a frenchman, and a german walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "What is this, some kind of joke?"