I'm DM'ing a Player Who Just Announced his Bard is a Kleptomaniac Pickpocket. Crap.

[Dragonhelm]

"What have you got in your pouches?"

Traditional greeting among kenders, followed by emptying of said pouches in the ground and exchange of items.

Some ideas...

Kencyclopedia - Kender - Cartography -Random Pouch Picks

Kipper (aka Sean Macdonald), the guy behind Kencyclopedia, also wrote a pouch grab chart in Races of Ansalon, by Margaret Weis Productions. Excellent sourcebook. I'm not biased, though.

 

[Nymrohd]

Have him meet some old thief who has had his hand chopped off. In my homebrew, the majority of humanocentric nations do this to thieves.

 

[aboyd]

I would note that in this forum just a few threads below this one, there is a thread titled "Ultimate Toolbox" (or something like that). That is a book with multiple tables for what you get when pickpocketing random NPCs. The original Toolbox book also had such tables.

 

[Stoat]

Yeah, if you want random charts, you can't beat the Ultimate Toolbox.

Have you considered raising your concerns with the player out of character?

 

[Hexmage-EN]

Dungeon #145 has a random chart for unusual things to steal whilst pick pocketing, such as a hollow pixie skull that screams when you hold your ear to it or a tiny mouse with a wedding veil glued to its head.

 

[(Psi)SeveredHead]

You find a "bully ring". Make a Fortitude save, or I guess it attacks your Fort defense. If it succeeds (or you fail), you shrink to a foot high. Halve your Strength until you can get the curse removed.

Okay, that's the jerky way of doing it Actions have consequences. Some "victims" will have really high Spot checks, and magic skills or nearby friends/bodyguards/political connections/whatever.

This is a particularly irritating issue for me, as I once saw a Modern session spiral out of control, when a player stole a customs agent's badge and it ended up with two PCs being charged with the agent's murder and the attempted murder of the five SWAT team agents who took them down (a death-qualified charge; convinction = death penalty).

Yes, it's a long story.

 

[joethelawyer]

Yeah, if you want random charts, you can't beat the Ultimate Toolbox.

Have you considered raising your concerns with the player out of character?

Thanks for the advice guys. So far Toolbox is a great source of stuff. I also broke out the old City System book which has a decent pickpocket chart.

I think the root of the probem is that this guy is a new player to D&D. He's only been doing it for 2-3 years. Myself, my brother and the other guy we play with each have been doing it for 25 years. This new guy wants a character like tasselhoff. That may fly in a novel, but in a setting like Freeport, the guy is gonna die. I figure I will ram up the scale of cause and effect. First time caught, run away or talk his way out of it. Second time ass-kicked. Third time arrested. Fine and maybe jail tme. Fourth time = arrested and loss of a hand or something. Or, an option to bribe his way out of it but be in debt to the mob bigtime.

It should be interesting how it all turns out

 

[Bumbles]

4. Anything else that might be handy?

Well, there's also a chart in the Dragonlance Adventures book, but I can also suggest the God of Mental Hygiene, who will send an avatar down to have his pocket picked by the PC and then cure the poor bard of his Kleptomania.

Depends on how you want to play it. Realistically, you can expect the PC to die, but will that increase his enjoyment in the game??

No?

Well then you have a bit of a pickle, where the Player's choices are conflicting with your conception of the game. But this doesn't mean you have to say no, you can say yes and use the opportunity. Think of how many stolen items turn out to be artifacts of some god or another.

 

[cignus_pfaccari]

A friend I mentioned this thread to suggests checking out the DSM-IV and educating him on Kleptomania, and having him enjoy the barrage of Will Attacks/Will Saves he'll have to make.

Brad

 

[Remathilis]

There's a great chart in Goodman Game's Campaign Planner (4e edition). My personal favorites include "pewter replica of the wand of orcus" and "PC's brother's severed ear"