Players Who Are Just Goofs

[kitsune9]

So here's a little story:

I used to play regularly in the RPGA. Having a character who dies in RPGA campaigns is a major hassle because a lot of time and effort goes into playing mod after mod to get a level and a lot of them are just brutal enough that I consider surviving the mod more of a goal than actually winning. If you die, then you're out a lot of hard-earned gold and a lot that previous effort to get you to your current level is wasted.

Anyways, I had a fighter-type and we got into an encounter with some kind of critters and he got taken down and drop to negative hp. So I'm bleeding out.

Another player at the table is playing a fighter type, but is definitely playing kind of cowardly in this encounter as he knows that it's a tough encounter so his character is lobbing alchemist fire at the critters and missing.

Now, my bleeding butt is lying there next to these creatures and this guy is lobbing alchemist fire. Splash damage--take a point of damage. Bleed out, take another point. Splash damage--take another point of damage.

Normally, I don't metagame at the tables. It's a major pet peeve with judges, but this guy was killing me and not paying attention. After his third miss, I told him, "STOP.......THROWING......ALCHEMIST FIRE!" and pointed at my mini lying next to creature. Even the judge let me slide on that one. The player then realized what he was doing and finally drew his melee weapon and managed to kill the monsters by himself.

On another story, I'm at a con playing a 10th level pregen. This one guy was really really gungho about playing the rogue. He loved playing rogues and we thought he pee'd himself if couldn't play the rogue, so sure! Play the rogue!

This guy never flanked. This guy always charged. This guy would never tumble and get AoO's on him. I didn't metagame at that table as it was just a one-shot, but my friend and I just looked at each other everytime this guy made these kind of moves.

I looked back on these and while my blood was boiling in the first story and bewildered in the second, I do look back on them and find them funny. Sometimes players do goofy things and just don't pay attention.

I know that sometimes, I've made blunders that got someone else's character exposed for a short time.

So maybe you had a player in a game that did something just dumb, but they thought was a good idea. Maybe you're that player who did something just dumb, but you thought it was totally awesome until you see the looks on your fellow players.

Now, this isn't about players who make their characters act like jerks, so let's avoid the jerk player thread. The idea is tell a story or situation that now that you think back on it, it's funny. This is about players who had good intentions, but paved the road to the Abyss with their comrade's bodies and the only thing they can say is, "Oooopss.."

Happy Gaming!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

One of my best buddies plays Wizards about 90% of the time. His PC spell lists look pretty much optimized- think Thanee's list, and you're probably right on target.

When you play a type like that so often, you get good at it, and he was pretty reliable from a mechanics standpoint. Not too good in terms of role-play, but definitely an Ace as powergaming goes.

But he does flub on occasion...

Like when he eschewed using a Fireball (his favorite spell) on a target that was resistant to fire damage and used a Lightning Bolt instead.

Sounds good, right?

Yes, until you realize that the villain was in water up to his waist...and was in melee combat with the rest of the party. In a Wild Magic zone which boosted the spell's potency- AND AoE- by 50%. (In addition to the effects of the interaction of lightning and water.)

The aftermath looked like some kind of supernatural redneck had gone dynamite fishing. The party survived, but there was a run on bandaids.

Not to be outdone by THAT fiasco, I did much the same when the party went through S3, Expedition to the Barrier Peaks.

My PC launched a Delayed Blast Fireball on a bunch of police robots- we'd destroyed one before in close quarters, and didn't want to fight a group of them at the moment.

The problem was I set the spell on max delay- you know...so we could get away- targeted on the rearmost 'bot. There the glowing pea lodged, throbbing with malevolent energy...

Because we hadn't had to close with the only other 'bot we'd encountered, we had no idea how fast the things moved. They closed on us in a single round, thrashed us for another few, and then the DBF went off.

Those who could still walk dragged off the ones who had been flash fried.

 

[ExploderWizard]

Not a dangerous goof but a funny one:

I was running a 3.0 conversion of Dwellers of the Forbidden City and the party had made thier way through an entrance cavern that opened out into the city.

The rest of the party waited in the tunnel while one character went ahead to scout the opening while invisible.

The invisible character crept carefully and silently down the tunnel, and out of the opening. I described the scene and informed him that he saw a pair of yuan-ti guards flanking the tunnel entrance as he passed and they did not appear to notice him.

The invisible character's player stretched out his arms and began making pointing motions to either side.

The whole table erupted in laughter over that one.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Awesome!

Another one from our table...also about scouting.

We were going through RttToEE, and my multiclassed Ranger PC was on point.

The party leader hissed "How does it look?" as I checked out a dark passage and had a non-committal roll...

"Looks clear."

We were then jumped by some evil critter that took us a few rounds to dispatch.

Returning to our formation, the leader hissed again "How does it look now? Again, the dice were mediocre- the same roll in fact- so I responded...

"Looks clear."

After a few seconds of silence, we all busted at the realization that we had just inadvertently reenacted a scene from Pitch Black.

 

[Oryan77]

In a 2e Dark Sun game, we were trying to retrieve our stolen gear from a Sorcerer Queens treasure room. Just as we were about to search the room, she appeared right behind my Fighter/Rogue character. The player that played the Fighter Half-Giant always roleplayed like a half-giant...not on purpose.

We were no where near powerful enough to fight her, but for some reason the Half-Giant takes a swing at her with his axe....natural 20. Uhg. I would assume someone like her probably doesn't take physical damage all too often, so I knew she was going to be ticked off. Luckily I had next initiative and I tumbled around her and ran out the door. She went next and did a Chain Lightning at the rest of the group...killing the Psionic Halfling instantly. The only reason the Half-Giant didn't die was because of the insane amount of HP they got.

I think someone else in the group activated an item that teleported us back to our boss's hideout. If he didn't roll a 20, he woulda missed and the other character probably would not have died. It's situations like that that make me glad that I like playing rogues with good initiatives

 

[kitsune9]

Exploder and Danny, you hit my intent of this thread right on. Danny, the lightning bolt thing in waist deep water is just hilarious.

 

[kitsune9]

It's situations like that that make me glad that I like playing rogues with good initiatives

Great story Oryan!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

We had a guy in our last D&D campaign who only got crits when striking other PCs.

Not that he was trying to hit his partymates. Once was when he missed a foe with his crossbow and rolled a "1"- the shot went downrange through several potential targets and NAILED one of the fighters.

Another time, he got mind controlled and nearly dropped the Wizard with a stab in the back.

 

[ExploderWizard]

The most inept party every gathered:

Our group played GURPS throughout the 90's and hadn't really played much D&D since 1990 or so. We were very excited about the upcoming release of 3E and wanted to pull out some D&D stuff to get reaquainted with the game. We decided to do a celebration one-shot of 1E AD&D to kind of get us pumped up for the release.


..............flash forward to a combat already in progress. There were 5 of us all 1st level adventurers surrounding a single normal skeleton in a graveyard. We stayed deadlocked with that thing for 7 ROUNDS!

The dice were horrible. We were all laughing too hard to hardly roll them anyway.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

You play enough D&D, you get events like that.

For us, it was at the beginning of a campaign.

We were attacked by Harpies, and the quick-thinking Druid hit them with an Entangle as they did a strafing run through some foliage- snagged them all!

That was when the dice went sour.

We only had a few PCs with ranged weaponry- a guy with a bow, a guy with a throwing hammer, one with a sling, and the Wiz had a dagger.

The guy with the Hammer is venturing into the area of the Entangle to retrieve his hammer and the Wiz' dagger.

Most of the to-hit rolls were low. When we did hit, no attack did more than 3HP damage. We finish off the first Harpy just as the Entangle is starting to expire...

So the Druid does Entangle #2...and our futility continues. The dice continue to stay as low as a soldier under fire.

The guy with the Hammer is, by now, having to venture into the area of the Entangle to retrieve arrows that have missed. The PC with the sling is now using rocks.

Harpy #2 is near death but still fighting and Harpy #3 is untouched when Entangle #2 is expiring, so the Druid pops Entangle #3.

My PC and the hammer-thrower are apologizing to the Harpies- in character- for the cruel deaths that we are inflicting upon them...especially after the hammer-thrower retrieved the Wizard's dagger out of the still-living Harpy#2 so the Wizard could throw it again. But he doesn't leave the Entangle area until after he stabs the dying Harpy with that dagger to finish it off.

By now, all of the arrows have been used, either striking the Harpies or being broken downrange. EVERYONE ELSE IS THROWING ROCKS.

The last Harpy dies just before Entangle #3 does.

All of this time, our DM has been flabbergasted- absolutely red faced and flustered- at the action. "F$%^&ing Entangle! That spell is broken!" *rant*rant*rant*

To which the Druid's player huffily responded "Well, it was either that or Create Food & Water! The Harpies could have had a meal and a bath!"

LOLs abounded.