Help Me Get Out of the DM Mentality

[Retreater]

After one more session I'm turning the DM reigns over to a player in my group who doesn't have that much DMing experience.

For various reasons, our current campaign has gotten out of hand. I was wanting to hit the "reset" button, but as soon as I announced my feelings, my friend jumped up and said that he would like to DM.

I'm having a hard time being as supportive as I feel I should be (as a player and as a friend). I think that the system and mega-adventure that he wants to run are both bad ideas. (I've seen both of them crash and burn - though I wasn't the one who attempted to DM that same mega-adventure.)

I've also read reviews of the adventure and I know that it's going to be a terrible fit for our group. (This was even before he announced that he wanted to run it.)

I think that I have experience that could help him, but I feel like I should bite my tongue and let him make his own mistakes. Considering that my mentioning any of these concerns have been met with a sort of "I'm DM now - please be quiet" attitude.

So what should I do now that I'm being pushed to the other side of the screen? Should I shut up? Should I try to give help as I can?

Should I help the new players make up characters (they don't know the system well enough to make up characters on their own; nor do they own the rulebooks)? Should I take a back seat character in the forthcoming campaign (perhaps an idiot fighter or something) just to keep from voicing my discontent?

What would you do in my situation?

Retreater

 

[Celebrim]

What would you do in my situation?

Retreater

I'd shut up and respect him the way that you want to be respected.

And I'd try to use my experience as a gamer to make fun where I found it. I'd try try to show up to his games and be as entertaining as I could be. And afterwards, I'd thank him for the game, and if I really had fun I'd say, "Good job."

And if people aren't having fun, you probably won't need to bring it up.

 

[Traveon Wyvernspur]

Yep I agree with Celebrim, I'd just let him run it the way he wants to and help out the other players offering my experience to them if they want it so they can be better players. I'm the kind that likes to lead when I'm not DM'ing anyhow so instead of an idiot fighter I'd be the leader of the group and help move the story along as smoothly as possible making it entertaining and educational to the other players in the party.

 

[Oryan77]

It's a good sign that you realize that you may or may not be annoying. So if anything, it shows that you are honest in wanting to help the new DM out. That's cool.

I agree with the others, just sit back and enjoy the ride. Maybe he'll make the mega adventure more fun, you never know. If everyone doesn't seem to enjoy it, then ask the DM if he would like some advice.

I rarely ever get to be a player. And the last time I was I realized a bad thing I was doing. I was being overly critical about being the party leader even though that was my role (according to the 4e rules). Nobody listened to tactics or followed through with tactics if they did listen. Players were making combat unnecessarily difficult on us because they were doing (what I thought) very stupid things. I realized I was complaining about it & that was probably annoying. But I just wasn't used to being one of the players since it had been so long. When I realized what I was doing, I stopped.

An experienced DM can add a lot of fun to the game as a player as long as he doesn't let his experience get in the way of other players fun. Keep yourself in check and I'm sure you guys will be perfectly fine.

 

[ExploderWizard]

I agree with those above. Be a player, play your character, and give him the same chance as you would to anyone before making judgement calls about the game. If it does turn out to be a flop for your group then you can ask if he would like some friendly DM to DM pointers.

 

[pawsplay]

I'd keep my GM mentality. I wish more players exercised it. Just because an adventure is bad doesn't mean you can't enjoy it.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

Let me guess the campaign he wants to run, Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil?

I don't have anything against it personally, but I imagine it doesn't fit a lot of groups.

Olaf the Stout

 

[Retreater]

Let me guess the campaign he wants to run, Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil?

I wish. That would be a better fit for our group.

We have a very large group of hack n slashers and he's wanting to run an intrigue-laden, roleplaying heavy urban campaign when a similiar campaign fell apart a few months back because 1) no one in the group paid attention to clues; 2) everyone wanted to go in their own directions; 3) there wasn't enough action.

Retreater

 

[filthgrinder]

I think that the system and mega-adventure that he wants to run are both bad ideas. (I've seen both of them crash and burn - though I wasn't the one who attempted to DM that same mega-adventure.)

I've also read reviews of the adventure and I know that it's going to be a terrible fit for our group. (This was even before he announced that he wanted to run it.)

This is where you can help out the most. Try and help steer the group to be more in line with the adventure and the system. Help the group adapt to the play style of the adventure and the new DM. Hell, you might find out that your group has a different play style and dynamic with a different DM at the helm. Always remember that there are multiple ways to play the game, so instead of taking the stand, "oh, thats not how I'd do it", just relax and have fun with the new way.

I'm usually behind the screen, but I LOVE the chance to get out in front and just see how someone else DMs. Thats an infinitely valuable learning technique to get better. Just seeing how someone else runs things, and being open to it, can just sow seeds in your mind and spark some new ideas.

The main thing to remember is to be open and cool. Always try to have fun and always try to help things along. Everything that your players do to you to annoy you, DONT do it them. Even jokingly. Try to be a cool, great player. Even if the new DM sets a really obvious trap/plot device, go for it. When you run an adventure and you go, "arr! I really wish my players would do X, but they always seem to do Y", go and do X! (Example, my players are always greed, self centered dickish heroes. When I'm a player, I tend towards a good aligned true-blue "hero") Always keep an eye out for spots where you can help the adventure along where its struggling and help out.

Stay positive, be open, relax, and be cool.

 

[Oryan77]

(Example, my players are always greed, self centered dickish heroes. When I'm a player, I tend towards a good aligned true-blue "hero")

Uhg, I always feel sorry for the true-blue hero player who is surrounded by jerky party members. I enjoy playing both sides of the hero type, but I always feel bad for the player that sincerely wants to be the kind heroic guy but is stuck with a group of thugs.

I have a player who is new to D&D and so he plays his PC how he is in real life, a nice guy. He struggles to fit his PC in with the rest of the group, but he still has a lot of fun. It's also kind of fun to watch the interaction though. The other PCs stealing from a vendor who is unaware of the theft only to have his PC drop gold on the counter and apologize. Then the other PCs say to him, "Geez, why the hell did you do that?!?"