I just tried to leave town ... and boy are my arms tired.
Take my quasi-omniscient NPC wizard advisor... please.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
You're supposed to answer the door.
I'm not answering the door.
Fine, the door bursts open.
Now I'm really not answering it. I fire my crossbow.
You weren't expecting trouble, so your crossbow wasn't drawn.
I was too expecting trouble! I just said I'm not answering the door! I shoot my honking crossbow!
Fine, go ahead. It won't do anything anyway.
A cleric, a fighter, and a rogue are on a flying carpet, which catches on fire. They only have two rings of featherfalling between them. The cleric says, "I should have one of the rings, so I can heal and resurrect the party," and takes one of the rings, while the other two begrudgingly watch. He jumps off and gently drifts to the ground. The rogue says, "I should have the other ring, so I can scout for and recover your body." The fighter say, "Whatever. The GM has had it in for us every since we threw that artifact into the bay anyway."