Tips/Tricks/Rituals to "bless" new dice?

Gygax signed one of my AD&D 1e PHBs and one of my AD&D 1e DMGs.

I follow the Hackmaster protocol, as detailed in the bottom of the "Fame Rub" box in the HM 4e PHB.

When I want a high number, I rub the die across Gary's signature, left to right. For low numbers, I rub right to left.

The other thing I do, which doesn't really affect the roll, but which distracts the DM, is to shine a laser pointer through a translucent gamescience d20. You get these funky interference patterns setup within the die, which looks like retro-70s special effect, dazzling the DM, and opening his mind to suggestions...."The half-orc Dagon cultist doesn't want to kill me.....he wants to give me his treasure and walk away from this unfortunate misunderstanding...."
 

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3 Options.

1) Invoke the blessings of Ifni, goddess of chance and destiny, capricious as she is. (David Bryn's Uplift series reference)

2) Intimidate your dice and torture a poorly performing die in front of the others to show them the price of failure. When waterboarding your dice, make sure to add a drop of dish soap to the solution to break the surface tension so that no life giving air bubbles can be trapped in the grooves of it's numbers. When using a magnifying glass in the sun to more deeply and painfully etch a side's number into the die, make sure to avoid breatheing any smoke or fumes given off as pleas for mercy.

3) DM's only: Channel the necrotic energy of your body fighting itself into your dice while you undergo a strong allergic reaction. Remember to seek medical attention before anaphylactic shock sets in.

Options 1 and 2 has mixed results. Option 3 has created for me a blue d20 that is feared by all (but only while being used by the DM). Just this past sunday, i pulled it out and one of the players asked "Is that your crit die?" to which i replied "yep, let's see how it's feeling today" and rolled a 20 on the first first toss. Another player on the other side of the table immediately said "i swear i'm going to take that die and burn it!". That session, it rolled high for monsters and crit several times, and 1s and 2s for any roll benefitting a player. Unfortunately, it's evil powers of darkness are only available to DM use, as a player, i can't roll sqaut with it.

It all started last year when I started to break out in allergic reaction from something. I was DMing, so i went to the game anyway, as I thought it was just a tiny rash. During play, my body turned against itself, skin turning into large puffy regions. While this went on, I rolled 10+ crits, and non crits were 17+ on the die. 7 of the crits were against 1 player. Also, the damage die of non crits managed to roll max or near max damage. Was a fun time for a DM :D

Afterwards, about 1am, i went to the hospital and the doc said "good thing you got in, if it covered your chest, you'd be toast".

From that point on, this blue d20 is the bane of players! Mwuahahahahahahah
 

Francisca has the right of it. Take the die, orient it so that the highest numbered face is showing, and rub it from left to right across Gygax's name. An original signature works best, a reproduced signature is next preferable, the printed name itself is least efficacious.

It is also sometimes necessary to punish dice that perform poorly. A die can be placed in "time out" -- segregated from its fellows in an area reserved for shameful reflection. A die can be chastised verbally, a technique that works well when combined with a time out. "Sit there and think about what you've done!" is often sufficient motivation for the poor-rolling polyhedron. Corporal punishment, including dunking the die in Mountain Dew, hucking the die across the room and exposing the die to extreme temperatures (putting it in a freezer, for example, or holding it over a candle flame) should be considered only as a last resort. If things are that bad, you are probably better off executing the offender pour encourager les autres.
 

Francisca has the right of it. Take the die, orient it so that the highest numbered face is showing, and rub it from left to right across Gygax's name. An original signature works best, a reproduced signature is next preferable, the printed name itself is least efficacious.

It is also sometimes necessary to punish dice that perform poorly. A die can be placed in "time out" -- segregated from its fellows in an area reserved for shameful reflection. A die can be chastised verbally, a technique that works well when combined with a time out. "Sit there and think about what you've done!" is often sufficient motivation for the poor-rolling polyhedron. Corporal punishment, including dunking the die in Mountain Dew, hucking the die across the room and exposing the die to extreme temperatures (putting it in a freezer, for example, or holding it over a candle flame) should be considered only as a last resort. If things are that bad, you are probably better off executing the offender pour encourager les autres.

hmm, in terms of celebrities, is it just gaming celebrities, or would any celebrity do? I've never been to any sort of Con, GEN or other, so my exposure to gaming celebs has been non-existent
 

Whenever I buy new dice, I immediately swallow them. Once they have completed their arduous journey and emerged from the other end a day or so later, they are totally in synch with my needs, and respond appropriately with the desired numbers when rolled.

(I would suggest not starting with Game Science dice, though.)

That's sounds.....painful. Do you have to swallow them one at a time or gulp the whole set?
 

2) Intimidate your dice and torture a poorly performing die in front of the others to show them the price of failure. When waterboarding your dice, make sure to add a drop of dish soap to the solution to break the surface tension so that no life giving air bubbles can be trapped in the grooves of it's numbers. When using a magnifying glass in the sun to more deeply and painfully etch a side's number into the die, make sure to avoid breatheing any smoke or fumes given off as pleas for mercy.

There you go! You show those dice who's the master! :)
 

using a soldering iron on cloudy days wsorks better as the sunny days stave off depression, and cloudy days instill a deeper sespiration in the dice.

an alturnitive:
ominus diium

giva me a my dominosa pizza
 

One guy I gamed with ate copious amounts of cheetos and doritos. His dice had oily orange powder all over them.

It might not work as a blessing, but it sure worked to keep the other people from using his dice!
 

I used to have some silly ritual to "attune" my dice. At the moment I can't remember what it was.

In play, if I die rolls crappily enough I "ground" it to my dice box. The die goes back in the box and is immediately replaced, the original not being touched for the rest of the session.

Not that that has any real effect on future uses of the original die.
 

Sit behind the DM screen. It seems to be all it takes for my dice to catch fire. When mooks are hitting Old Masters in Feng Shui every session (requires a dice to explode twice before you've started) after the second time your PCs have requested a change of dice there are problems.
 

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