Monster identification

[Crusher]

The webcomic Order of the Stick (which some folks might already be aware of or read) is a great webcomic based in a world run by, with a few exceptions, version 3.5 ADD rules. Here's a link to a recent page: Giant In the Playground Games

OotS has been running for several years now and one of the great mysteries of the comic is the classification of a creature known only as the "Monster in the Dark" or MitD. Its a fairly major character which for plot related reasons is always in some kind of darkness and is (mostly) unseen. Rich Burlew, the author, has indicated that the MitD *is* a specific type of monster and that it is guessable and its actions in various scenes have given a number of clues as to what it could be.

Some of us have been pondering this question for the last few years, and here's a link to the most recent version of the discussion thread which also lists the pros and cons of everything that has been proposed, and the 6 or 7 monsters which do the best job of fitting the 3 most prominent hints. MitD V: MitD and the Templates of Doom (Please Read the First Post) - Giant in the Playground Forums

While we've covered an immense amount of ground, as y'all are probably aware there are a HUGE number of monsters out there once you include 3rd party material, etc. One of the biggest areas we have not gone through yet are the monsters originally introduced in Dragon Magazine (obviously they'd have to be updated to 3.5 to see if they work) but there are probably plenty of other places we haven't thought to look.

So, this is kind of a major nexus for monster discussion, so I figured I'd ask here and see if anyone had any ideas and/or was willing to help.

There's far more detail on the link I put above, but as kind of a TL;DR, here's some of the MitD's major characteristics.

1) Powerful - Min CR of 14-16 and really probably 18+
2) Not terribly big - Huge or smaller, ideally Large
3) Extremely strong - Minimum STR of 30 or so (alternatively, really powerful telekinesis or the like could work)
4) Very tough to injure - Near Epic or Epic defenses against physical attacks, through some combination of high DR, extremely high HP or high AC
5) Able to teleport others at a distance - So, access to greater teleport though something like Wish or equivalent would arguably work better
6) Really freaky looking (no specifics, but it must be hard to recognize and fills viewers with a strong sense of fear or disgust. However, its not so strong as to be an actual effect aura)
7) Must eat and sleep and be sentient (so not a construct or undead or elemental. Outsider is probably ok, though)

 

[Cleon]

I read OotS but have never speculated about the race of said beastie.

Fun though it'd be, I don't think I have the time for it, what with all the monsters to convert and add to the CC.

Besides, I'd just go through the silliest suggestions I could think of - like a Phasm.

 

[freyar]

Yeah, I've also never given it much thought, and my knowledge of D&D monsters is far from encyclopedic --- I learn as I go. I also don't really think I have the time to go through that ginormous thread. I guess I would expect it to be something more mainstream than some obscure 3rd party critter.

Well, I'd be curious to know some of the more popular guesses. We may have some different ideas, dunno.

 

[Crusher]

Certainly. The way we look at it is that lots of little hints have been dropped in various strips, but there are 3 big "scenes" that revolve around the MitD and show off some of its attributes in various ways. So, the big cut off for considering monsters as candidates is how well they fit the "3 big scenes" and then there's a length list of minor hints that are considered pros and cons depending on how well the monster fits those as well.

The three big scenes, in a nutshell, are:

- "the circus scene", the MitD is a circus sideshow act and people get to see it. While the reader doesn't get to see the MitD we get to see the audience's reaction (the MitD just stands there) and the reactions really vary. Some people throw up, some people are afraid, some are confused, one says it looks beautiful. One little girl says looking at it makes her feel funny inside and a wizard-looking fellow looks perplexed and says he's never seen anything like it. But a family of goblins (who come to the show a lot) cheer and yell happily. He also says that "its hard to be looked at by so many people".

- In, the "tower scene", the MitD is attacked by a mid-level paladin (probably level 13 or 14) and the attack does nothing more than tickle the MitD. The MitD then good-naturedly gets into a contest with the paladin to see who can hit the softest. The MitD goes first and knocks her through the tower wall and seemingly hundreds of feet away. He then does it to her horse as well and appears genuinely sad to have lost the game. A fair bit of math has been done assuming various wall compositions and rule assumptions and a minimum STR of 30 was worked out (and that assumes everything else is perfect).

- The "escape scene" has the MitD worrying that his friend O-chul (another paladin who was paralyzed for a while) is about to be killed by the MitD's "boss" Xykon an epic-level lich sorcerer. The MitD closes his eyes, concentrates and appears to cast a spell while saying "Escape". O-chul and another character are then suddenly teleported hundreds of miles away to the safety of their companions. The MitD definitely appears to have caused the escape, however, the MitD claims to have no spellcasting ability.

Plus, we know a zillion minor things about him, but the MitD appears to suffer from amnesia or perhaps was abandoned as a kid and does not even know what species he is so the accuracy of his statements is at best questionable. He gets hungry and loves stew, he's willing to eat people but doesn't want to eat kids, he needs to sleep and he gets tired. He's at least 30 years old and appears to be intelligent and knowledgable about spellcraft but acts very naive and childlike. He's male. He likes tacos and has teeth. He can stomp hard enough to cause earthquakes (suggesting he has limbs) and shout loud enough to, possibly, daze people. He seems to be familiar with the Astral Plane. He has a dad who is bigger than he is, he's a member of a species and not unique. That species isn't normally found in rainforests nor does it typically speak common. He can't create undead. Probably Large or Medium sized, but might possibly be Huge. He can be mind controlled or suggested. Appears to have one head and two eyes.

~140 monsters have been guessed. Some simply can't work (because of intellectual property reasons or other reasons. Snorlax would be awesome, but any Pokemon would have legal problems. Its also not really a Dread Gazebo) others just aren't very good guesses. He's probably not a centaur or a displacer beast or Godzilla.

The 7 monsters which fit these scenes the best are:

1. Aboleth mage - Powerful spellcaster, almost strong enough, lives underwater and doesn't speak common, weird looking. Defenses are probably too weak and its actually slightly too weak across the board.
2. Dread Linnorm - Very Ugly while also having a high charisma and a high enough level Sorcerer to cast Wish. Extremely strong and tough, but is too large and would have needed to lose a head somewhere along the way.
3. Hagunemon (Protean) - Very strong and can teleport. Constant shapeshifting looks weird but has 34 CHR. Powers are all psionic and its not clear psionics are in that world (one character has in fact pondered in the strip whether or not psionics rules are in force)
4. Neothelid - Strong and can teleport, and is a weird looking giant worm. Defenses are a little shakey and no arms or eyes. Way too big.
5. Uvuudaum - Strong and a powerful caster and weird looking. However, unclear if it has eyes or mouth (doesn't appear to have a head). Also has a constant confusion aura which would have caused all sorts of problems along the way.
6. White or Black Slaad - Defenses and spell-like abilities are good fit, but weird reproduction cycle makes it hard to imagine one having a "father" and its quite a journey for them to reach those stages, so its hard to think of one being so naive and childlike. Might be too recognizeable.
7. Carbosilicate Amorph from Schlock Mercenary. He's actually a pretty good fit but he's someone else's intellectual property and its really hard to imagine a character from another webcomic as MitD.

Tarrasque doesn't really work at all but people guess it almost constantly. My personal favorite is Pit Fiend which would be an excellent fit except that it looks pretty much like a stereotypical demon and its hard to reconcile the audiences' reaction in the "Circus Scene" with a Pit Fiend.

 

[freyar]

When Roy was dead and climbed the mountain into whichever plane it was (Celestia?), didn't he pass a psion chanting "I think I can"? The Hagunemnon is intriguing, but I'm not certain the teleportation spells it has work quite right. What are its immunities anyway?

I think a lot of the minor things about the MitD are personality quirks, personally.

 

[Crusher]

Yeah, the minor plusses and minuses are considered pros and cons because people debate as to whether or not they're actually substantive or not. Like the Astral Plane familiarity. Does it suggest he's a Outsider? Or that he has some kind of plane shift ability? Or a succeeded spellcraft check? Or simply that he has a decent INT and he's standing in front of a Gate *looking* at the Astral Plane and assuming?

The Hagunemnon's teleport basically only works if he shapechanged into an Umbral Blot of something similar at the right time. Good question about immunities, I'm not sure as it doesn't actually say what they are.

 

[Cleon]

Like the Astral Plane familiarity. Does it suggest he's a Outsider? Or that he has some kind of plane shift ability? Or a succeeded spellcraft check? Or simply that he has a decent INT and he's standing in front of a Gate *looking* at the Astral Plane and assuming?

Surely it'd be Knowledge (the planes) rather than Spellcraft?

 

[Crusher]

Oh, good point, probably so.

At another point MitD briefly looks at a very powerful and complicated ritual and despite claiming to have no spellcasting abilities at all instantly recognizes that the page being studied is actually only half of the ritual. Does it mean he has ranks in Spellcraft? Or that he's somehow familiar with the ritual?

 

[Cleon]

Oh, good point, probably so.

At another point MitD briefly looks at a very powerful and complicated ritual and despite claiming to have no spellcasting abilities at all instantly recognizes that the page being studied is actually only half of the ritual. Does it mean he has ranks in Spellcraft? Or that he's somehow familiar with the ritual?

If you're referring to the snarl gates ritual, that's specific to the OotS campaign world, so if the MitD had previously encountered it it doesn't help you identify it.

If it's just a matter of the Monster having an appropriate skill, Knowledge (arcane), Knowledge (religion) and Spellcraft would be the relevant skills. They're the skills employed for Epic Spellcasting, after all.

 

[Crusher]

Well, perhaps. The ritual is certainly specific to the OotS world, limiting its help in identifying the MitD. But in the OotS world is an extremely obscure and powerful ritual, known only by a very, very small number of people.

The ritual was known only by each High Priest of the Dark One and the divine half of the ritual had (according to Red Cloak) never been written down (and the copy of the arcane half the MitD saw may have been the only time the arcane half had been written down), so the MitD having previous experience with the ritual would be a bit of a surprise. If he did, it would perhaps suggest that he's not just an outsider but in fact a servitor of the Dark One of some sort (In fact, I've argued that the MitD could be a Pseudonatural Greater Barghast servitor of the Dark One which actually works fairly decently except that Dimension Door isn't a good answer for the Escape scene).

Alternatively, its possible the MitD has some sort of mind-reading ability, latent or otherwise and read Red Cloak's mind.

The simplest explanation, obviously, is that he made skill checks along the lines of what you suggest. But there are limitations to that argument. First, the MitD has said repeatedly that he's not a caster (though he's been wrong about plenty of other things. "Maybe I'm a kobold?" "You're too tall to be a kobold." "Maybe I'm two kobolds?").

Even more telling, Xykon, who we *know* is an epic level caster with 24+ ranks in both Spellcraft and Knowledge (arcane) wasn't able to make heads or tails out of the ritual. Yet the MitD was able to wander up, glance at the arcane half, and instantly know that the problem was that it was only half of the ritual. To be fair, we also know that Xykon gets bored extremely fast. He may have taken one look at the ritual and before even making a skill check said to himself "Ah, screw this. I'll farm it out to Tsukiko to figure out." Tsukiko had both knowledge (arcane) and knowledge (religion) as a mystic theurge, but we only know that she had 6 or more ranks in both, making her knowledge level a much lower hurdle to get over.