Yes - I think this supports what I said about there being a clash of expectations, and this being the source of annoyance with 4e.
(OT) Your wargamer example is interesting, it brought home to me that traditional wargames seem very much steeped in a Clausewitzian paradigm of what a battle is and how it should work. The Mohammed/Mao three-stage system for insurgency war, or Sun Tsu perhaps, would have no trouble with the idea of defeating the enemy on the moral level before any physical force is used. Our wargames are ultimately derived from Prussian kriegspiel and they embody a force-on-force model where maneuver and supply are important but much is excluded as irrelevant that other theorists would see as critical.
Sun Tzu was writing more about the approach to a war as a whole, rather than about individual battles (So is Clausewitz, mostly). At most, what the Russians call the "Operational Art" of getting an advantage before a particular battle. There are other Chinese military writers who address tactical matters. Playing campaign wargames or recreations of historical battles gives you much more appreciation for this than the equal-points set-piece-battles that are pure tactical tests.
I don't know if I'm "immersion-sensitive" or not, but I know that I find hit points annoying in every version of D&D except 4e, because only 4e takes them to their logical conclusion as luck, divine favour and plot protection.
Or we switched to different systems, like Runequest, Rolemaster, HERO etc that don't have the same problem!.
I think very largely the people who found hit points dissociative, and cared about it, stopped playing D&D and simply don't care how D&D does it and won't even know this sort of discussion is taking place.