New Race: Moglin

[Puxido]

Hey, this is the first race I've ever made, and I hope I didnt mess up. Please tell me if I did and what I did wrong. For refrence, I did the math on the ability score modifies so I didnt have lists of contradicting stat modifies in the feats/skills.




Name: Moglins
Power Level: Standard
Type: Fey (Low light vision)
Subtype: Rodentia
Size: Tiny: +2 on attack rolls, -2 on Combat maneuver checks and their CMD, +8 on stealth checks. Takes 2-1/2 feet by 2-1/2 feet, 4 can fit in one square. Natural reach of 0 feet. Must enter an opponent’s square to attack it in melee. This provokes an attack of opportunity from the opponent. Since they have no natural reach, they do not threaten the squares around them. Other creatures can move through those squares without provoking attacks of opportunity. Typically cannot flank an enemy.
Speed: Slow
Ability score modifiers: +4 Dex, +2 Wis, -4 Strength, +2AC
Linguistic (No racial Language)
Racial traits:
Moglin Spirit: Members of this race gain a +2 racial bonus on saving throws against fear and despair effects. Also, once per day, after a natural roll of 1 on a d20 roll, members of this race may reroll and use the second result.
Squires Familiarity: Familiar with the Bo-staff and all bows.
Friends to all: Due to their friendly standing to most all races, Moglins get to choose two favored classes at 1st level and gain +1 hit points or +1 skill rank whenever they take a level in either of those classes.
Alternate Racial Traits:
Ebil Moglin: If the Moglin chooses to be any of the evil alignments, he gains the ability once per day as an immediate action, a member of this race can treat positive and negative energies as if it were an undead creature, taking damage from positive energy and healing damage from negative energy. This ability lasts for 1 minute once activated. If the Moglin in question attones into the good or neutral alignment, this ability is removed and the racial train it replaces is then put back into its place. Replaces Squires Familiarity.

 

[Cleon]

Hey, this is the first race I've ever made, and I hope I didnt mess up. Please tell me if I did and what I did wrong. For refrence, I did the math on the ability score modifies so I didnt have lists of contradicting stat modifies in the feats/skills.

Hi Puxido!

Glancing through your numbers, you've got a +2 AC in the Ability Score Modifiers which doesn't have an associated type. I'm thinking that this is the +2 size bonus to AC they get for being Tiny, in which case it should be listed in their Size Adjustments.

I notice that you've bent the rules slightly by removing the free racial language from their "Linguistic" quality. I'd suggest you reinstate it and say they speak Common and Sylvan, since Sylvan seem to be a natural fit for them.

You've also renamed the racial traits from their "official" titles - Moglin Spirit is Eternal Hope, Squires Familiarity is Weapon Familiarity, Friends to All is Multitalented and Ebil Moglin is Light and Dark. I'd rather you used their regular names, for clarity's sake.

Finally, having their Ebil Moglin power substitute for weapon familiarity feels a bit odd, especially the way they spontaneously gain familiarity with staves and bows if they atone. Perhaps you should have it substitute with another ability?

The rest of it looks fine statswise, but I'm not sure it's within the Standard Power Level. Have you worked out the RP cost?

Let's see...

Race: Fey = 2 RPs
Size: Tiny = 4 RPs
Speed: Slow = -1 RP
Ability score modifiers: Specialized = 1 RP (+2 Dex, +2 Wis, -2 Strength [size adj. make it +4 Dex, -4 Str])
Linguist: = 1 RP

Racial traits:
Eternal Hope (Defense): = 2 RPs
Weapon Familiarity (Feat and Skill): = 1 RP (staff & bows)
Multitalented (Other): = 2 RP

[An Ebil Moglin has Light and Dark (Other) instead of Weapon Familiarity]

That adds up to 12 RPs, which makes it an Advanced Race rather than a Standard Race.

If you want to make it a Standard Race you need to cut 2 RPs - you could do this by cutting the Multitalented, or by giving it Standard Languages (0 RP) and Fearless (1 RP) instead of Linguist and Eternal Hope. If you give it Fearless you could use that as the "alternative" to the Ebil's Light and Dark, which I like better than Weapon Familiarity.

Alternatively, you could make it an Advanced Race, which'll allow you to add up to 8 RPs of additional traits.