Under construction: ENworld's first random dungeon room generator

[FreeXenon]

perhaps remove "You enter" as well - redundant.
Perhaps start like this "This cirular room.."?

 

[FreeXenon]

Yea, time is a cruel mistress!! Grrr!!

 

[FreeXenon]

Walls "standing" above something is a little awkward.
How about walls that "frame" the room - "The paper walls (frame or encase or surround) a flagstone floor"

 

[FreeXenon]

I may also move exits over contents, since walls and floors are closely linked to their doors.

 

[FreeXenon]

Ok, that is all I have for now.
Good luck!

 

[Jan van Leyden]

"You see a an empty room, a nothing. this room is empty, and a an empty room."

A room full of emptiness! What a fantastic concept!

 

[Jhaelen]

I love this "This room is pitch black. For just a moment, you can see nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing, taste nothing, and you're not even entirely sure who you are."

Oooh, you definitely need to add "You are likely to be eaten by a grue."

 

[Jhaelen]

A room full of emptiness! What a fantastic concept!

This also reminds me of a famous Infocom adventure: "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" It features a room that contains 'no tea'. The funny thing is that you can pick it up ('take no tea') and then find it in your inventory. Later you find a room that does contain 'tea', allowing you to carry both 'tea' and 'no tea', resulting in a paradoxon that you need to demonstrate to get a(n intelligent) door to open for you

 

[Janx]

Per some other GMing advice, cut the writing back to bullet points, rather than block text that the GM reads.

The examples being cited sound like you've tried to frame all the text as block text to be narrated by the GM

That complicates your writing (as you mentioned in the first post about sentence structure issues).

Just make the engine return a series of bullet points that the GM can quickly skim and phrase in her own words.

 

[FreeXenon]

I was thinking of suggesting just that... =)