D&D 5E (2014) Seeking Help/Critique on a Setting

[Bitbrain]

^except that he has already told everyone here that he doesn't have any players to enjoy the world he's trying to build.

 

[Gardens & Goblins]

^except that he has already told everyone here that he doesn't have any players to enjoy the world he's trying to build.

The point still stands -- find players. Test. Develop areas that arise through testing. If it has legs, then add polish, as required.

Players will be the ones that make or break any homebrew. Gonna need to get that design cycle started asap!

 

[QuietBrowser]

I do appreciate the intentions behind your post, Gardens & Goblins, but... well, I'll repeat Bitbrain and point out that finding PCs in my area is all but impossible due to various circumstances. It would've been far more helpful if you'd had something to say bout my most recent posts instead.


In fact, does anyone have any comments, opinions, etc on the matters I raised in my last posts? I'm mostly concerned with the non-crunchy post; I consider mechanics something to worry about far into the future. I have other worries on my mind, such as the nuances of hobgoblin culture and the possible fitting of a rabbit/squirrel-hybrid race of beastfolk (not that odd when you remember Phantons, who were 1/3rd raccoon, 1/3rd monkey and 1/3rd flying squirrel) and/or an Asiatic-flavored race of bamboo shark-folk, but we got enough things to talk about at the moment without me adding more to the plate.

 

[QuietBrowser]

I'm going to be out today, but if anyone has any comments, critique, feedback, suggestions, whatever, I really would appreciate it. All that stuff on the last page is what's currently bugging me, and I really want to tackle that before I worry about hobgoblins.

 

[QuietBrowser]

I was really, really hoping that somebody would speak up soon... Well, other than repeating all the things that're bugging me from the starting point of being an inexperienced and worried creator.

#1: Too Many Beastfolk?
I don't mind the presence of beastfolk civilizations in my setting, but I know that most players prefer (or at least are more comfortable with) demihuman races. So, I'm a little worried I may have too many of the former and not enough of the latter. Using this current "world-wide guide" rough draft, would you folks agree that this is a problem I need to be concerned with?

I can elaborate on what the deal is with each race if need-be, but I wanted to push this out quick and without too much to take in.

Demihumans:

• Cogsoul Gnomes
• Wildheart Gnomes
• Sun Elves
• Moon Elves
• Hobgoblins
• Goblins
• Gremlins
• Goliaths
• Dhampir
• Vryloka
• Ghuls
• Fetches
• Mortif
• Half-Elves
• Half-Gnomes
• Half-Goblinoids

Beastfolk:

• Haffuns
• Ratfolk
• Hutaakans
• Gnolls
• Minotaurs
• Tondi
• Kobolds

#2: Are There Enough Enemies?
Basically, I'm worried I may not be giving players enough creatures to face off against, and thus making this setting kind of boring. Here's the rough run down of what a party can go up against; is my worry valid?

Again, I can elaborate on each of these entries if need be, but I was running into time issues here.

• PC Races
• Animals & Magical Beasts
• Killer Plants
• Constructs
• Oozes
• Monstrosities
• Elementals
• Undead
• Ogres

#3: The Problem With Gods
This setting is going to require religions. It's a plain and simple fact. But the problem is... well, I tend to find the religious aspects of D&D some of the least interesting. I don't have the slightest idea of where to begin working on such matters, and I know I'll need at least a few small pantheons.

 

[Gilladian]

Try thecbg.org for another place to postcampaign settings for critique. I am too sick today to read your stuff, but maybe tomorrow...

 

[Beleriphon]

On Sun-elves and the decaying technology, what if the ancient stuff was derived from an element that doesn't exist in the mortal world, but only in the Feywild? That way ancient technology can be maintained, but no new ones can be built.

Imagine a world with nuclear bombs, but no particle accelerators and our ability to build them have been lost. We can maintain the current bombs, because they are relatively simple machines, but there is no way we could make more without weapon's grade plutonium or enriched uranium. Even if somebody knew that's what we needed, they couldn't make more of it.

 

[QuietBrowser]

Try thecbg.org for another place to post campaign settings for critique. I am too sick today to read your stuff, but maybe tomorrow...

Really appreciate the comment; it's just so helpful to talk about this stuff with people who "get it".

On Sun-elves and the decaying technology, what if the ancient stuff was derived from an element that doesn't exist in the mortal world, but only in the Feywild? That way ancient technology can be maintained, but no new ones can be built.

Imagine a world with nuclear bombs, but no particle accelerators and our ability to build them have been lost. We can maintain the current bombs, because they are relatively simple machines, but there is no way we could make more without weapon's grade plutonium or enriched uranium. Even if somebody knew that's what we needed, they couldn't make more of it.

Huh... you know what, I hadn't considered that. That's actually a really awesome idea! Thank you so much - that makes so much sense! It even gives the Moon Elves some more of a unique angle; they must have some kind of alternative element from their home on the moon that works as a stand-in for their necrotech and the like.

Hmm... random query to anyone reading; given that this setting was inspired by three war games (Warhammer, Warmachine, Hordes), does it make sense to at least look at the major races and consider what kind of unique units they would have if they were actual war-game factions? Reverse engineering that to create cultural elements for the race itself?

...Sorry, I'm not really explaining that well, but I'm not sure how to articulate it better...

 

[QuietBrowser]

So, I really don't like overloading folks with stuff, there's so much brought up to discuss already, but I thought I'd share some details on my plans for Hobgoblins in this setting.

In a nutshell, my inspiration for this setting was born out of a common complaint; why use hobgoblins when you have orcs? And why use gnomes when you have dwarves? Add in the inspiration I found in Dragon 419's brilliant Winning Races: Hobgoblins article, and I knew I wanted to try and use hobgoblins in my setting in lieu of orcs.

The key to the hobgoblins of Quietus can be found in their Nentir Vale lore, which I'll try and reproduce in bare essentials format here:

Hobgoblins exemplify the dark side of civilization, where adherence to the law is more important than justice. They expand their power through military conquest wherever they can, and they have little care for the fate of those swept aside or crushed underfoot. Though it can be easy to disdain or even hate the hobgoblins for their excesses, their immorality is tempered by pragmatism that keeps them from plunging into absolute evil.

Because hobgoblins are the most intelligent and civilized of goblinkind, a few of them suppress or deny their baser urges and embark on adventuring careers.

Hobgoblins greatly prefer being in control to any sense of indecision or chaos. This mind-set has led them to organize themselves and their kin, goblins and bugbears, into an orderly society in an attempt to civilize the wilderness. The thought of “untamed nature” is likely to cause a hobgoblin to curl a lip in distaste. The main exception to this attitude among hobgoblins is in the art of beast handling, where tamer is not necessarily better.

Hobgoblins’ lives revolve around two kinds of honor, though “honor” is a poor translation from the original Goblin, which actually encompasses two words. Atcha is honor obtained through glorious deeds, such as the subjugation of new lands or the development of powerful new magic weapons and armor. Muut is honor obtained through doing one’s duty well, whatever that duty is. Young hobgoblins focus on atcha when they jostle for rank among their peers, and this is encouraged to some degree by their parents and clan elders. But a common saying states that “A blade without a hilt cuts its wielder”: a warning to those who seek atcha at the expense of muut that their failings will catch up with them one day.

Hobgoblins in this setting are, in their way, a civilised race - but one that believes the key to survival and prosperity is through strict order, discipline and military might. I hate to use the term "fascistic", but that is what honestly comes to mind as the first descriptive term.

The homeland of the Hobgoblins, known currently as the Hordelands, lie far to the east across the Sea of Catastrophe. The raging storms and deadly monsters of this turbulent body of water keep contact between it and the Known World fairly sporadic. The coastal settlement-stronghold-nation of Viltheed theoretically remains in contact with the homeland via the equivalent of radio, but even this is not 100% reliable.

The founding of Viltheed occured roughly 100 years in the past, when a certain celestial alignment calmed the Sea of Catastrophe enough to allow for a hobgoblin invasion fleet of unprecedented proportions to raid the unprepared nation-states of the eastern coastline. Though the Republic's forces threw them back, the hobgoblins fought with fanatical zeal, strengthened by the sudden disastrous return of the Sea to even greater fury than before, trapping them on the coastline. Eventually, the butcher's bill grew to the point that both sued for peace; the hobgoblins fortified their strongholds on the coast, named themselves the nation of Viltheed, and have slowly built up their power ever since.

Some things I want to preserve with this setting are that dark is not necessarily evil, that morality comes in many shades of gray, and the tides of fate can make strange bedfellows. The hobgoblins of Viltheed are "The Enemy", as much as that title can be applied to anything. But, they also conduct non-hostile relations with their neighbors. There are hobgoblins who leave Viltheed and found new lives for themselves in the Republic. And hanging over Viltheed's head is the fact that they may be experiencing too much "cultural contamination" for the homeland to approve of - that there may well come a time, for some of their city-states at least, where the arrival of fresh forces from the Hordelands is as much a threat to them as it will be for the Republic.

In short, hobgoblins aren't mono-dimensional warmongering idiots like Warhammer's Orcs & Goblins.

Hobgoblin "technology" is brutally functional. Noxious fumes, black metal, spurts of chemical flame; it's ugly and harsh, utilitarianism mixed with barbarism, made to function and, at most, to be intimidating, not to look pretty. It ain't subtle, it ain't elegant, but it's tough and it does the job.

I'm currently thinking to include Goblins and Gremlins - and maybe certain other goblinoids of the past, like norkers, varags or vrill - as branches of the hobgoblin family tree. Goblins, for example, are deceptively strong and hardy slave-laborers who are forced to toil for their bigger, more warlike cousins, whilst gremlins are anarcho-technomancers, specializing in making tech of the kinds that burn, explode or butcher.

...That's all I can think off of the top of my head, but I hope it gives you all a glimpse into what I want hobgoblins to be like and inspires you to make comments, ask questions, or offer suggestions.

 

[Wednesday Boy]

#1: Too Many Beastfolk?
I don't mind the presence of beastfolk civilizations in my setting, but I know that most players prefer (or at least are more comfortable with) demihuman races. So, I'm a little worried I may have too many of the former and not enough of the latter. Using this current "world-wide guide" rough draft, would you folks agree that this is a problem I need to be concerned with?

I would not be concerned about this. I think you have plenty of races in the world in general and plenty of race options for player characters.

(This is purely my opinion so don't let it dissuade you from your vision or enthusiasm for creating...) Personally, I would pare down the races list and simplify (combine or remove) the subspecies list. Maybe I'm not seeing or appreciating the differentiation between some races (e.g., goblins vs. gremlins vs. half-goblinoids) or subspecies (e.g., Apokalypsi vs. Automata guilds) need specific mechanics. But they seem too granular and specific to be worth having as extra races.

#2: Are There Enough Enemies?
Basically, I'm worried I may not be giving players enough creatures to face off against, and thus making this setting kind of boring. Here's the rough run down of what a party can go up against; is my worry valid?

I wouldn't worry about this either. If you give your adversaries different motivations and means for achieving their goals you will have plenty of variety without needing to add more races or creatures.

#3: The Problem With Gods
This setting is going to require religions. It's a plain and simple fact. But the problem is... well, I tend to find the religious aspects of D&D some of the least interesting. I don't have the slightest idea of where to begin working on such matters, and I know I'll need at least a few small pantheons.

I would go simple and use a core pantheon from one of the editions without each race having their own pantheon. I find that covers the bases well enough and haven't noticed a deficiency from the lack of specific racial pantheons. Plus I'm lazy.